Keep Your Celebrity-Branded Wine, Here Are The Celeb Products We’d Actually Buy

From ELLE

Ryan Reynolds’ is face down in the fridge. Kim Kardashian’s is scrunched up in ball in the washing basket. Lady Gaga’s is buried so deep at the bottom of my handbag, I last saw it sandwiched between a tampon and a bottle of anti-bac.

Rather than kidnaping or stalking any of my favourite celebs to get closer to them (but, you know, each to their own), I’ve forked out hundreds of pounds on their branded products.

Celebrity endorsements date back almost as far as the idea of fame itself. In the 1950s, all it took was for Marilyn Monroe to remark that she wore just ‘five drops of Chanel No.5' for sales of the famous perfume to soar, cementing its status as the best-selling fragrance in history.

Celebs have the Midas touch when it comes to helping shift product, so roping them into your gin advert is a no brainer. An A-lister’s seal of approval gives a brand clout, increases its visibility and builds trust among us mere mortals who are desperate to emulate their glamorous lifestyles by any means. Don't believe me? Just look at the throng of fans that have queued up outside through the night to get their hands on Michael Jordan’s custom-designed Air Jordans, Beyoncé’s Ivy Park clothing range or Kanye West’s Adidas Yeezy Boost 350s. While you might not be able to buy Kim Kardashian’s friendship, at least you can afford her branded lip-gloss.

But what used to function as a low-key second (or even third) tier to a celeb's career, now we're seeing endorsement deals take centre stage. Tinseltown entrepreneurs are cashing in on their notoriety and influence and making a move on our tastebuds, drinks cabinets and bathroom shelves, right left and centre.

The alcohol market is now dominated by Ryan Reynold’s Aviation Gin, George Clooney’s Casamigos tequila and Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ Cîroc vodka. It seems almost every celebrity with a blue tick wants a shot at the boozy revenue. Just this year alone, Kylie Minogue launched her own eponymous rosé, a now sober Brad Pitt is selling Fleur de Miraval rosé Champagne and Cameron Diaz is raving about her 'clean' (read, organic) wine, Avaline.

As for cosmetics, branded eyeshadow palettes, lipliners and cleansers have catapulted millionaires Kardashian, Kylie Jenner and Rihanna onto Forbes lists alongside tech innovators Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. So it’s no surprise that Lady Gaga and Jennifer Lopez are plumping for lipstick swatches, with the launch of Haus Laboratories and J.Lo Beauty, respectively. And don’t get us started on the eye-watering incomes of celeb ‘fashion-preneurs’ Kate Hudson (Fabletics) and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (The Row).

I don’t know about you, but I'm becoming increasingly fatigued by the endless list of celebrity-branded products clogging up my Instagram feed. When you’re three glasses into a bottle of Aviation Gin, smeared in Kylie Cosmetics’ Kylighter and squeezed into a pair of Skims shapewear like sausage meat, you've probably gone too far.

What we really want from the A-listers are the products they don’t want to sell – the stuff that helps them transform from puffy-eyed gremlins to high-octane, sparkly creatures for the red carpet. Forget the branded vodka, we want the celebrity secrets to rocking a smile after a high-profile break-up, eating a cheesy pizza without bloating and keeping our hair fixed without dousing it in Elnett before a night out.

Here is a list of the products we’d actually like to purchase from celebrities:

Rihanna wine glasses

Ri-Ri might have dominated the lingerie, luxury fashion, beauty and skincare market, but we’re crossing all our fingers and toes for a Rihanna-inspired homeware collection someday soon. For years, we’ve seen the singer exit clubs, restaurants and hotels with a glass (and sometimes bottle) of alcohol in hand, which makes us think she’d be an excellent glassware designer.

As Rihanna says, ladies: ‘Pour it up.’

Blake Lively’s haircare line

The mother-of-three might have failed when it came to ‘doing a Gwyneth’, with her now-defunct short-lived lifestyle website Preserve (resulting in a day of mourning for wicker basket-owners across the world). However, what we really want to see Blake Lively launch is her own branded haircare line featuring shampoos, conditioners, serums, hairspray and hair curlers. After the disappointing ending of Gossip Girl, this is the least she could do for the world.

Bella Hadid pizza

The supermodel might be the only woman known to mankind who can devour a box of pizza and rock a tight set of abs on the Versace runway hours later. But Bella Hadid isn't just a wizard at eating pizza. In 2018, the star shared pictures on Instagram of her sending two pizza boxes through an airport security scanner next to a pink Prada bag at an airport in Monaco. Dodgy? Most certainly. But when you’ve got a body like Bella’s and an addiction for mozzarella, in Hadid we trust.

Kim Kardashian’s handbook for plastic surgery denial

We’re pretty sure Kardashian has denied having plastic surgery as many times as we’ve had hot dinners, which makes her the perfect guru to turn to when it comes to learning the subtle art of keeping the people around you perplexed. After years of denying claims she’s undergone rhinoplasty, cheek fillers, breast enlargement and bum enhancement surgery (despite Instagram posts that, ahem, may suggest otherwise), the business’ mogul’s condemnation of those who speculate she’s had surgery deserves an Oscar.

Angelina Jolie's vial of blood

Forget saving a photograph of your 'Significant Other' as your phone's home screen, because we want to turn back the time and make Angelina Jolie’s vial of blood a jewellery trend for 2021. During her two-year marriage to Billy Bob Thornton in the early 2000s, the actress was infamous for wearing a vial of the actor’s blood around her neck, and vice versa.

Thornton previously said of the accessory: ‘It was like from a slight cut on your finger and you press your fingerprint in. It was kind of a sweet gesture. I thought it was kind of romantic!’ With some couples now parting ways after months of lockdown to return to the office, could a vial of your partner’s blood be a new way to keep the romance alive?

Miley Cyrus' guide to breaking up

With not one but three romantic break-ups in the last year, Cyrus has still found the energy to continue working and for that alone, we give her a standing ovation. Following splits from Cody Simpson, Kaitlynn Carter and ex-husband Liam Hemsworth, the singer has shown the world that heartbreak might be a gut punch, but it’s cool to still celebrate your independence, remain fit and healthy and throw your energy into making a success of yourself.

The day that Cyrus releases a self-help book on how to live your best life following a break-up, we’ll be standing first in line at Waterstones.

Ryan Reynolds’ book of one-liners

Say ‘goodbye’ to those moments when you walk away from an uncomfortable situation and wish you’d said something funny. Reynolds has spent years mastering how to troll his friends and family (Blake Lively, Jake Gyllenhaal, Hugh Jackman etc) and would make the perfect author to write a book on witty puns.

What we’d give to learn how to swerve a curveball question in a job interview or metaphorically ‘floor’ a school enemy with a one-liner in Sainsbury’s. Reynolds, we wait with bated breath for your literary debut.

Ariana Grande's hair bobble range

Sick of your bobbles snapping just before you head to the gym? It’s about time Ariana Grande released her own collection of bobbles to save our tresses from undue stress, breakage and kinks. Sure, her bangers like ‘Thank u, next' and ‘Stuck with u’ might have us dancing around our kitchens and earn her Grammys, but we want in on the bobbles that keep Grande’s mane fixed so high in that big ol’ ponytail of hers.

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