Unapologetically is a Yahoo Life series in which people get the chance to share how they live their best life — out loud and in color, without fear or regret — looking back at the past with a smile and embracing the future with excited anticipation.
Kailyn Lowry is defining sexy for herself.
The Teen Mom star, 30, says that her "definition of sexy has definitely changed" over the years.
"Now it's more about being confident and feeling good in your own skin," she explains. "When I was younger, it was more about how I looked and what other people said about me or felt about me. But now I feel sexy on my own. I don't have to rely on someone else's opinion to make me feel good."
Lowry admits that it's not always easy feeling sexy as a mom to four kids between the ages of two and 12.
"Feeling sexy every day is definitely a challenge for me in motherhood," she notes. "I always have 'mommy' things to do, so by the time I have alone time, I don't feel sexy. It's really hard. But I did a boudoir shoot last year and it was one of the most empowering shoots I had ever done. The photographer was phenomenal...It was really awesome. It was the most empowering and sexy I had felt probably since becoming a mom."
Lowry has been candid about having a "mommy makeover" after giving birth to her second child – and "loved every minute of it." Her only regret was not waiting to have the procedure until she finished having kids.
"I don't knock anyone that chooses to have plastic surgery," she says. "You want to feel your best — it's for you. It's not for anyone else."
Lowry has also tried Botox and fillers, calling it "one thing that I have added to my routine that makes me feel good." She says that despite popular belief, she's only started getting Botox in the last two years.
"I have really bad wrinkles running through my family on my mom's side," she says. "Shout out to my mom, for passing that gene down to me. I just don't want that. So that is one thing I'm not going to budge on."
While the host of PodcastOne's Coffee Convos is confident in her decision to make cosmetic tweaks, she admits it’s hard to deal with a judgmental public, who she says often hold her to impossible standards.
"I feel like I'm held to a double standard because I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I'm an a**hole if I go get Botox and fillers and hair extensions. 'How does she afford this and who does she think she is?' And then if I don't take care of my skin and my body and my hair, it's like, 'Oh, she's a slob,'" Lowry explains. "So I feel like people want to hold me to a beauty standard, but then when I do kind of go into that, they don't allow me to do that either. So I just kind of live — some days I look like this, and some days I look like I just rolled out of bed. It just depends."
It’s giving herself grace to look how she wants to that Lowry is most unapologetic about.
"I would say I'm most unapologetic for just showing up as myself every day," she says. "I'm human, aside from Teen Mom, aside from podcasting and books and kids, I am a human being. So some days I look great and some days I don't. And some days I have it together and some days I don't. That's who I am unapologetically, every day."
Lowry is currently in a relationship with boyfriend Elijah Scott, 24, who she lives with in Delaware. When it comes to what she looks for in a relationship, confidence and work ethic are huge.
"I think the most attractive thing I find in a partner is just having drive," she says. "Just having a good work ethic, and really just committing to trying to be the best they can be, the best version of themselves. Oftentimes I've found myself in relationships where we're both not confident and we don't feel good about ourselves — and so it's super hard to then have a relationship with someone. If we're not confident in ourselves, how can we be confident in a relationship?"
While the busy mom is happy to use Love Honey sex toys when she's not with a partner ("I have not had a lot of time to play with myself lately," she jokes.), she says that sex is an important part of keeping her relationship strong.
"I definitely want to be on the same page sexually as someone because I've been in relationships where we're just not able to have conversations about what we like, what we don't like. That's very important to me. I feel like that's a different level of intimacy than pillow talk at night, you know?" she explained. "Also just making sure that my relationships are more evenly yoked, because I feel like I was doing a little bit more in my past relationships than my partner. Moving forward, I would like it to be [closer to] 50-50."
–Video produced by Olivia Schneider
Wellness, parenting, body image and more: Get to know the who behind the hoo with Yahoo Life's newsletter. Sign up here.