Jessie J on the healthy way she deals with online negativity
Jessie J is one of the most glamorous women in the world. We’ve seen her dazzle on stage in sequins, celebrate her pregnancy bump on the red carpet in a catsuit-cape combo and share flawless GRWMs with her 14 million Instagram followers.
And yet, the moment she feels her best, is away from the spotlight at home. ‘I’ll take off my make-up, put on a hair mask and soak in the bathtub,’ says the 36-year-old mum to Women’s Health. ‘That’s when I feel my most beautiful.’
The singer-songwriter is speaking after the unveiling of her partnership with Dove, and their global report on The Real State of Beauty. The brand’s research - which looked into how artificial intelligence (AI) is one of the biggest threats to the representation of real beauty - frighteningly revealed that two-in-five would give up a year of their life to achieve an ‘ideal’ body.
So, what does beauty really mean to Jessie? ‘When I think of [it], I don’t think of perfection - or being the prettiest, sexiest or slimmest,’ the star explains. ‘It’s not about make-up, a nice outfit or even a snatched waist. Beauty is being joyfully and authentically yourself.’ She adds: ‘When I think of some of the most beautiful people in my life, it’s those fully living in their truth.’
We discuss the online pressures to conform to certain beauty ideals. Jessie is clear: ‘I’m for women doing whatever they choose to their bodies, as long as it’s a decision made for themselves and not based on someone else’s opinion.’ Because it’s what’s beneath the skin’s surface that really matters. ‘Someone can have all the filler and Botox in the world, but it's not going to change their heart,’ she points out.
This is why Jessie was keen to join forces with Dove. ‘It’s a never-ending trap and box to fit in [to] what “beauty” is,’ she had said, prior to our conversation, about the campaign. ‘It’s unhealthy, unrealistic and relentless. Social media and emerging technology like AI are accelerating that pressure at an alarming rate.’ There’s one group she’s particularly concerned for, noting: ‘It’s terrifying what it could do to the now and the future generations of young people trying to work out life and who they are.’
The journey to motherhood
In November 2021, Jessie devastatingly revealed on social media that she had experienced a miscarriage after being told her baby ‘no longer had a heartbeat’. ‘I had so much anxiety,’ she now tells WH, of the grief she endured. ‘I hadn’t realised my body would still think I was pregnant for several more weeks - that was traumatic and painful.’
Then, in January 2023, the pop star announced that she was expecting once more - and she welcomed her little boy Sky, along with her boyfriend Chanan Safir Colman, in May last year. ‘I’m so grateful it went well the second time because I can’t imagine having to go through that horrific experience more than once like so many women heartbreakingly do,’ she bravely tells me. ‘My mental health was tested - particularly the hormone-fuelled rage that caused so many slammed doors in my house.’
This next phase of Jessie’s life has been a period of growth. ‘I’ve still not fully found myself again since becoming a mum,’ she admits. ‘My life isn’t just about me anymore - I wake up and the first thing I'm thinking is someone else - I want to be the best version of myself, not just for me but also for him.’ This was an adjustment, she explains, because: ‘I had 35 years of selfish independence as a musician.’
It’s been the same for her boyfriend Chanan. ‘[He] had the same as a professional basketball player, then all of a sudden we both have this magical new role that comes with so much responsibility,’ she explains. ‘It’s like, “how do we do this?” It’s been a constant conversation between us about how we can be there for one another and our baby.’
Finding a fulfilling balance
As they approach Sky’s first birthday, Jessie is proud of how far she has come. ‘I’ve learnt that I’m really capable of juggling numerous life-shifting things at once,’ shares the star. ‘I have moved house four times and countries twice since my son was born, while also working in the likes of China and Abu Dhabi just three months postpartum.’ This has taken its toll. ‘My mental health has been tested and I’m really proud of myself for not losing my mind,’ she acknowledges. ‘I’ve been holding on to those little lightning bolts of joy that parenthood brings.’
Jessie notes that much of the pressure to return to work has come from herself. ‘I get so much fulfilment from being a performer that I don’t get from being a mum - including the creativity and adrenaline rush - that my body was almost craving being able to return to work after giving birth,’ she says. ‘There’s only so many nursery rhymes I can sing.’ However, she emphasises: ‘At the same time, I want to raise my own son and be there for those early moments that I know I’ll never get back.’
Like many mums, Jessie often feels stuck in the middle. ‘I can’t really do my kind of job part-time - when people buy a ticket they want to see you up on stage - it's either you're in or you're not,’ she confides. ‘This has meant I've done almost a bit too much already, to be honest with you.’ Going forward, she explains: ‘I’m navigating these different pulls by paying attention to what feels right - only taking off my dressing gown and putting on real clothes for things that feel meaningful, like this Dove campaign.’
Reframing aspects of fame
Jessie was first catapulted to fame with the release of her 2010 single ‘Do It Like A Dude’. This came, incredibly, two years before her first ever Instagram post at the London Olympics. ‘In those intervening years I’ve seen the worst of social media,’ she shares. ‘I one hundred per cent read my comments - and the meanest ones can actually make me laugh.’
But the star has gained valuable perspective. ‘As a mother and having been in this industry a long time, I’ve realised life is too short to care about the nasty opinions of strangers on the internet,’ she explains. ‘I just don’t play into it, but I know that so many people do. If I see others being trolled, who I’m worried may not be feeling so strong, I’ll send them a supportive DM.’
After more than a decade in the public eye, Jessie feels more sure of herself than ever. ‘My most powerful quality is that you can put me in any room and I'll always be myself,’ she insists. ‘I won’t change the way I dress or how I talk - I stand strong, and if someone pushes me I’m not just going to topple over.’
She continues: ‘Because many of those pressures come from other people, and I no longer take them on. I used to for a moment in time - thinking I can’t do this or that - but I’ve realised so much of insecurity is projection from other people. I now don’t care what people think if I go against the grain.’
Being kind to her body
Jessie has been fighting off unhelpful societal expectations in other ways too. ‘I haven't exercised as much as I would like to since giving birth,’ she reveals. ‘Instead, I’ve been leaving the house and going for a walk - it’s one of the things that really calms me down. As does making space for humour as well as spontaneity.’
There are other ways the star centres her wellbeing. ‘Every morning I take my supplements - including vitamins D and B12, as well as digestive enzymes,’ she shares. ‘I don’t have the “perfect” diet. While I was vegan for seven years, during pregnancy I really craved meat. I’ve found that everything in moderation works best for my diet now. You’ve got to listen to your body.’ She’s on the money.
Jessie J is an ambassador for Dove
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