I was so jealous of him being close to his sister that he dumped me

Ally*, 34, knew her boyfriend Cameron*, 37, was close to his sister, but she hadn’t imagined that family ties would always come first…

I fell in love with Cameron pretty quickly. Here was a guy in his early thirties who worked hard, was successful and fun and also extremely close to his family. I loved that about him – how he and his parents and sister always celebrated big events together. They were a gregarious bunch – his sister Polly* especially.

Three years younger than Cameron, Polly worked in a similar creative field and they often collaborated on work projects. Although she lived a two-hour train journey away, she visited regularly and always expected to stay over at Cameron’s flat. At first, this was fine – I just accepted that they were close. But as the months went on, and Cameron and I became more serious, I started to resent how largely Polly featured in his life.

Eight months into our relationship, Cameron had asked me to move in with him. I loved our life together and felt certain that he was 'the one'. However, at least one weekend a month, Polly would come to stay and Cameron’s whole time would be focused on her.

They had a whole raft of in-jokes and would be giggling constantly – whether cooking together or watching one of 'their' shows. It was like he regressed whenever she was around. They were like a pair of hysterical teenagers.

Growing resentment

Although Polly was superficially friendly, she never made an effort to get to know me and I always felt like the outsider. It didn’t help that this was Cameron’s flat – he’d bought it before we met – so I didn’t feel as if I had any say in how much time Polly spent there. Instead, I quietly dreaded her visits and breathed a big sigh of relief when she went home.

I didn’t know how to broach the issue with Cameron without sounding mean or pathetic. But eventually, I suggested that perhaps Polly could stay somewhere else when she was in town – at least some of the time. I explained that it just felt a bit much. He said that would be ridiculous, and so my resentment bubbled away.

I definitely wasn’t looking forward to a wedding we’d been invited to, of friends of Cameron and Polly’s. Of course Polly was there and, as I’d predicted, Cameron spent the whole day in her orbit, barely acknowledging me at all.

Irrational outburst

The only reason I’d put up with this so far was that, when Polly wasn’t around, Cameron was absolutely lovely to me. But that wedding reception was a step too far. Feeling abandoned and upset, I drank far more than I should have. Alone in the ladies’ loos, I was fixing my make-up when Polly walked in.

The thing she said – "Oh, that’s a nice lipstick, Ally!"– was innocuous but it just flipped me out. The way she’d said it, with a little sneer on her face, seemed to unlock all the resentment I’d been bottling up for months. And now it all came out.

"Can you back off?" I blurted out.

"What d’you mean?" she asked, looking shocked.

"Always being around us," I said. "Demanding so much of Cameron’s time and attention. Things have changed. He’s not just your big brother, you know. He’s in a relationship now!"

Last straw

As Polly flew out of the loo – no doubt straight to Cameron – I knew I’d badly overstepped the mark. He barely spoke to me for the rest of the night. Next morning, I woke up with the mother of all hangovers and Cameron telling me we were finished.

I apologised, tearfully, but he was adamant – he wanted me out by the end of the day. I’d upset Polly, an unforgivable crime in his book – and there was no way back from that. Although I regret losing it so drunkenly, I now realise that any girlfriend of Cameron’s will always play second fiddle to his sister. And I’d committed the unspeakable crime of trying to come between them.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

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