Inside the World of Parent-Led Dorm Design, Where College Move-In Day Costs $5K and a Year of Planning (Exclusive)

Some spend thousands hiring professional dorm room decorators, but these parents are happy to take on the job themselves if it means their kids will be comfortable

• When moving her son into college in 2020, Tamara Wingerter witnessed parents putting together luxurious dorm rooms. She was inspired to create a Facebook group for those looking for inspiration

• Four years later, her co-run page Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond has a community of more than 69,000 members, many of whom post photos of their kids' highly decorated rooms

• Wingerter and four other moms in the group spoke to PEOPLE and detailed how much time and money they poured into designing their daughters' new homes

For those whose parents can afford it, the perfect college dorm room can be curated and constructed with the expert help of a professional interior designer. More than a few hundred dollars will streamline move-in day by dream-scaping every pillow, poster and pop of color before it gets pilled into a freshman's compact new home.

Considering the high price point — in 2022, The Wall Street Journal reported families paying professional designers up to $10,000 for dorm detailing — most parents unsurprisingly opt out of decorative assistance. But that doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about where their kids are sleeping and studying away from home.

Take Tamara Wingerter, for example. In many ways, Wingerter started dreaming up her daughter's dorm room four years ago, when she moved her older child into his freshman year accommodations at Mississippi State University. Looking back on her son's 2020 move-in day, Wingerter thinks she did the best she could considering how little she knew about Southern dorm design culture.

"I was completely clueless, but we managed to make it a really nice dorm room for a guy," she recalls to PEOPLE. "And then I started seeing all of his friends' dorm rooms, the girls', and I was like, 'What?' I could not believe what these Mississippi State rooms looked like ... I was just in awe."

Just after dropping off her son, she came across a stranger's social media post that was catching widespread attention amongst Southern parents. A woman had shared photos of different eye-catching dorm rooms decorated to meet the height of collegiate style, and Wingerter was overcome with inspiration.

"I was just blown away and I was obsessed," she says. She reached out to the post's creator to offer a look at her son's recently set up room and to seek advice for the future:

"I was like, 'These rooms are unbelievable. I need to be able to do that for my daughter in four years,'" adds Wingerter, who works in marketing for a radio station.

Eventually, she had the idea to turn the woman's viral post into a full Facebook group where parents could share their kids' decorated dormitories or find ideas for any upcoming move-in projects. Since joining together to launch Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond, the two women, formerly strangers, have "become the best of friends," says Wingerter.

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Today, the original two creators run the private Facebook group with four other administrators. More than 69,000 Facebook users have joined Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond, where empty nesters post photos of their kids' new digs down South and — as the page's name suggests — all across the country.

"Over the four years, we've had so many out-of-state moms join, and we welcome everybody," Wingerter tells PEOPLE. "But we started off as Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond because the Mississippi State and Ole Miss rooms were just so amazing and breathtaking."

This summer, Wingerter was able to prove how far her design skills have come in the time since she she dropped off her son for his freshman year and started keeping up with dorm trends on Facebook. Her daughter Marissa and her roommate, Peyton, got the full room makeover experience on their Mississippi State move-in day.

While it feels like Wingerter has spent the last four years planning out Marissa's first college residence, the mom says they actually started conceptualizing the room's aesthetic in January, about seven months before the move. The process launched once the roommates selected a color scheme: blue and green with "a pop of pink," notes Wingerter.

"I put a vision board together and it definitely was fluid. I kept changing it and changing it and changing it," she tells PEOPLE of her creative process in collaboration with Marissa, Peyton and Peyton's family. "I'm not a designer. I am the furthest thing from a designer. But because I've been running that group for four years, I was able to know what to look for and put it together."

Plenty of other Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond members share Wingerter's lack of experience with interior decorating, but her group has guided many through the planning timeline, including Mississippi State alumna-turned-Mississippi State mom Allison Autry. She tells PEOPLE she started plotting her only daughter's first home-away-from-home a full year before move-in.

A self-described "planner," Autry says the Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond Facebook group was "extremely helpful" throughout the process, providing inspiration and resources for the mom, her daughter Ella Kate and her roommate, Karalyne.

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"[The group] had Amazon shopping lists already created with the necessities that we would need and links to different items that we would need," says Autry, adding, "Of course, with all of the pictures of the dorms from years prior, the girls would go on and send us pictures of what they liked, what they wanted."

She admits that some of her favorite parts of Ella Kate's room were directly inspired by the Facebook page, like the peel-and-stick wallpaper and the personalized neon signs above both girls' beds. The latter detail is a common decoration seen in a number of photos posted by other Mississippi and Beyond parents, but Autry isn't embarrassed to emulate: "I feel like the sincerest form of flattery is imitation," she says.

Still, Ella Kate and Karalyne made sure their new crib stood out with customized artwork and painted pillows from a local store called Hobbies Galore by Tayler. Autry's new freshman also requested a teal ice machine to match the room's vibrant color scheme, and the dedicated mom delivered.

Between the essentials — beddings, curtains and a place to sit and study — and Autry's decorating zeal, she estimates that they spent between $1,000 and $2,000 on the space. She acknowledges the budget might seem excessive, but the family actually managed to save a decent amount of money thanks to her husband Rob's handiwork.

"We DIY'd everything ... My husband was able to build a lot of it," she tells PEOPLE. Rob constructed key items like the girls' bedside tables, the hutches atop their desks and the sofa table between their beds. Autry sewed some pillows herself, and she says they also saved money by tapping into dorm resale groups, another friendly resource passed from parent to parent in the Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond Facebook group.

But even with all of Autry's smart saving, the pieces that perfected Ella Kate's dream space added up quickly. Their pink desk chairs cost about $100 each. The roommates' white console table in their entryway came from Wayfair for $150, a price tag to match the ice machine from Amazon. The Etsy-purchased neon signs also retailed in the $150 range.

"As you get closer to move-in, of course there's always going to be things that you forgot or that you didn't realize you needed. For instance — electrical strips, power strips, those are expensive because you have to have surge protection," Autry reflects. "We wanted pictures for their walls. We wanted pictures for their desk. On their closets, you saw the little pictures ... that does add up."

Autry's dorm room makeover mission took about eight hours to set up on move-in day, in addition to the big bill. Still, other parents hike their budgets even higher in the name of keeping their kids comfortable.

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Each year, Wingerter polls the members of her Facebook group to gauge how much parents are pouring into these projects. The admin shared her 2023 poll results with PEOPLE, which show a near-majority of voters — 421 group members — spent between $501 and $1,000. Less than half as many Facebook users spent between $1,000 and $1,500, and 95 others copped to paying between $1,501 and $2,000.

In total only 25 of the 862 voters used a designer for their kids' 2023 dorm rooms. It goes to show just how much the community of parents have changed the dorm room decorating game.

"The moms in our group ... are so creative," Wingerter notes. "You used to not see a room like Marissa's and Peyton's unless it was a designer, and now the moms and the girls can do this themselves."

Last year, only 46 members of Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond voted that they paid as much as Micha Prude did this summer. The educator did take measures to save costs when planning her daughter Malaya's room, but the orange and pink plush setup wasn't cheap.

"It didn't hit the $5,000 range. I want to say we spent anywhere between $2,500 to $3,000 on her room," Prude tells PEOPLE. "Once we joined the dorm room moms group ... it just kind of took on a life of itself. I know my husband was like, 'Okay, just let me know what I need to pay for,' because he was so over it."

Malaya's pink futon couch is the most expensive thing in her room, totaling around $299. She and her mom looked for cheaper options, but nothing matched the quality and color of the one sitting in the dorm today.

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"We kept going back to that couch. [Malaya] said, 'Mama, I like that,' Prude recalls. "Finally I was like, "Okay, well, this is one of those things, I'm going to suck it up. She likes it. This is the color couch she wants, so I'm just going to roll with it after."

Then there were more obviously splurges, like a $65 bulldog pillow ($80 after shipping) that the Mississippi State mom spotted while shopping on Etsy. Prude can't help but laugh as she recounts her decision to snag the dorm accessory.

"I told Malaya, I said, 'Your daddy has never laid hands on me a day in his life, but if he only knew how much I paid for that pillow,' " she remembers. "But it was one of those things that was so cute that I was like, 'Okay, you've got to have this to put on your couch.' "

Like Autry, Prude watched her bill rise with the essentials: a "name-brand comforter set" for about $60, mirrors for $50 each, a $50 bed skirt, an $85 mattress topper and more.

Prude did make an effort to spend wisely. She bought Malaya's round table on Facebook Marketplace for $10 and gave it some shine with a $7 bottle of gold spray paint. She avoided paying $30 to $40 per pillow and instead purchased $7 pillow covers and a $25 bag of Poly-fil to stuff them herself.

Unlike Autry and Wingerter, Prude wasn't as directly in touch with Malaya's roommate Yacine's family, which other parents describe as a major help when paying up for a kids' comfort. Prude tells PEOPLE each freshman paid for their own side of their room as far as bedding, headboards and neon name signs went. However a lack of communication between families led to some imbalanced costs, though she clarifies the other parents aren't at fault.

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Prude says that Malaya, being a "typical 17, 18-year-old," failed to keep her roommate updated on plans and prices. She kept forgetting to ask for her Yacine's approval of the certain items and their prices, and Prude didn't have time to wait and see whether or not the families would split the tab.

"I'm not knocking anyone's parents or anything. I'm not being negative about it at all. It's just that Malaya wasn't relaying the information the way I wanted her to, so my husband and I just bought it," Prude explains, adding that the other family bought everything for their bathroom and reimbursed Prude for certain items, like Yacine's lamp to match Malaya's.

In addition to working within a time constraint as move-in day approached, Prude was eager to meet her own expectations set by months of scrolling through photos posted on Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond.

"The décor — like the couch and the rug and the entryway stuff — those are just things that I felt just looking through the pictures throughout the year," she says.

Prude didn't let all that inspiration get the best of her. From the very beginning of her planning process, she tried to remind herself that the Facebook page doesn't have to become a competition between parents.

"I was like, 'Okay, the first thing I'm not going to do is compare myself to anyone else,' " she tells PEOPLE, adding, "Because I know for a fact that we have to live after we decorate this dorm. So I'm not about to go into debt to pay for this dorm."

She steadied her focus on Malaya and the ultimate goal of "creating a safe space for her based on what we can afford and not what everyone else [can]." Luckily, Prude says the tone of Wingerter's group leans toward the positive.

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"The consistency in all of us moms' posts [is] 'Do what you can do.' You don't compare yourself to someone else," Prude says. "So that is what ... I told Malaya, I was like, 'Look, I know some of these moms are super elaborate, but we're going to do what we can afford, but we're going to do it in a way that you still get what you want.' "

In the end, Malaya and Yacine's pink-and-orange pad came together wonderfully, not to mention quickly: Prude says it took the two families just over three hours to set everything up. But other parents insist on the importance of collaboration between both roommates and their families.

Stephanie Slayman's daughter Shasta and Heather Kellow's daughter Adelyn starting planning their dorm room almost immediately upon meeting for the first time.

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"They sat down and started looking at color schemes and furniture pieces and their likes and dislikes," Slayman tells PEOPLE of their daughters, who decided to be roommates after meeting on social media.

Once the girls confirmed which Mississippi State residence hall they'd be living in, their moms leaned heavily on Wingerter's Facebook group — and on each other.

"There's kind of like a protocol [on] the site that we posted to. A lot of people are really good about exchanging information," Kellow recalls. "And it's really figuring out the color scheme, what they wanted and go from there. Stephanie and I texted a lot over the last couple of months and she's my new best friend. That was helpful to just be like, 'This is what we need to get.' "

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In plotting out their shared space, Shasta and Adelyn had a design advantage that didn't cost an extra penny. Kellow works as an interior designer at home in Nashville, and she was able to utilize some professional resources to set up a dream space, like asking her assistant draw up the dorm room floor plan provided by the university and having her work room add trim to their curtains.

"I jokingly say [Adelyn] was probably one of my hardest clients I've ever had," the expert decorator tells PEOPLE. "She and Shasta both had an opinion, so we had a direction. And once we did that, I was able to work with my vendors getting pillows made or getting custom hutches made ... things that are more unique to this type of room environment that they need."

Compared to the typical designer dorm experience, Kellow and Slayman didn't have to be as mindful about prices, though they tapped Amazon and a few resale opportunities, too.

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"I have resources that kind of get in that trade pricing as opposed to the markup. But really we just evaluated each individual thing as it went," Kellow says. "There wasn't a budget, but I don't know that we really were too crazy either."

By leaning into the professional headspace, Kellow saved herself money and time, but she also saved herself some tears too. A project-based mindset obscured the hard-to-swallow reality of her daughter growing up and moving out.

"I kept calling move-in day 'install day,' and it drove my daughter nuts," says Kellow. "I was like, 'But for my sanity and peace of mind, I'm not moving you in.' Like I had to kind of trick them — this is install day."

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Not all moms have the business mindset advantage, but many openly appreciate the distraction provided by such a deeply involved design process. Thanks to the move-in day mission, Prude tells PEOPLE she didn't have much time to get emotional.

"I was so happy ... and so excited with the way that her room turned out and that she actually loved it. It turned out the way she wanted it to turn out," Malaya's mom remembers. "I was so full and excited that I didn't have time to be sad."

It's hard to be sad knowing your kid is living in their dream room, especially if you helped make it happen.

"You want your child to be safe. You want them to be safe. You want them to feel at home. You want them to feel comfortable," says Prude. "Yes, they are stepping out into young adulthood, but for me it was about creating an environment that was like home for her. Somewhere that she would feel comfortable studying. I didn't want her to be too homesick."

The sentiment echoes throughout Dorm Rooms of Mississippi and Beyond.

"My goal was to make the room fun and bright, but I wanted it to be very homey. It's hard obviously when a daughter goes to school, but I wanted them to have a space that they could hang out with their friends," Autry says of her daughter's new digs. "I think we definitely created that ... Everybody on our hallway wanted to come hang out with them."

The group's common goal, Wingerter says, is "to make our daughters feel at home, show their personalities and just be in love with the room."

"It was amazing to see my vision board next to the room, and I was like, 'Wow, you did it. I can't believe it,' " she tells PEOPLE. But Wingerter says she felt her four-year-long process truly paid off after leaving the dormitory. "My daughter has literally texted me or called me five times since I left yesterday and been like, 'Mom, I love my room. I love my room.' "

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