Ina Garten reveals she was separated from her husband for a brief period: ‘I just hit the pause button’
Ina Garten revealed she had a brief separation period from her husband.
In an excerpt from her memoir,Be Ready When Luck Happens, the 76-year-old celebrity chef detailed a difficult time in her marriage in which she “hit the pause button” and separated from her husband Jeffrey. The pair has been regarded as a power couple since she rose to Food Network fame in the early aughts.
“There were certain roles that we played, and I found them really annoying,” Ina told People. “I felt that if I just hit the pause button, I would get his attention.”
The separation occurred in the 1970s after Ina quit her job in Washington, D.C. -where they worked in the White House - to start the Hamptons-based specialty food store that made her famous, the Barefoot Contessa. At the time, Jeffrey stayed in D.C. and visited her in the Hamptons on weekends.
“When I bought Barefoot Contessa, I shattered our traditional roles — took a baseball bat to them and left them in pieces,” Ina wrote in her memoir. “While I was still cooking, cleaning, shopping, managing at the store, I was doing it as a businesswoman, not a wife.”
“My responsibilities made it impossible for me to even think about anything else,” she recalled. “There was no expectation about who got home from work first and what they should do, because I never got home from work!”
She called Jeffrey’s visits a “distraction” from her work at the store, noting she struggled to pay attention to him when she was laser-focused on running the store. She added that she felt she and Jeffrey were leagues apart, with her having a difficult time figuring out who she was outside of her White House job.
“Jeffrey was fully formed and living the life he wanted to live,” she said. “I wasn’t, and I wouldn’t be able to figure out who I was or what I wanted unless I was on my own. I needed that freedom.”
Although she considered divorce at the time, she ultimately asked for a separation and found that the time apart ultimately strengthened their relationship for the better.
“It was the hardest thing I ever did,” she reflected. “I told him that I needed to be on my own. I didn’t say whether it was for now ... or forever. In true Jeffrey form, he said, ‘If you feel like you need to be on your own, you need to do it.’ He packed his bag and went home to Washington with no plan to come back. I buried my emotions and threw myself into my work.”
When Jeffrey met up with Ina to ask her what she needed to make their marriage work again, she told him she needed him to see a therapist. She hoped a third party would help him understand that she was his equal in the relationship and also had a voice.
“Jeffrey’s willingness to see the therapist was as significant as anything that might happen during their session,” she wrote. “He was that determined to convince me he was serious about making our marriage work.”
Looking back at the pivotal moment in their relationship, Ina has no regrets. She told People that it changed their relationship for the better, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Her memoir Be Ready When Luck Happens will be available for purchase on 1 October 2024.
