"I'm So Upset...I Found Out How My Husband Washes His Body In The Shower": This Man's Routine For Cleaning Himself Is Frightening Women Everywhere
It is not my intention to ruin anyone's day, but if you are in a relationship with a man, this just might do it...
Meet Brit and John Richards. They have been married for almost nine years.
And, despite being married nearly a decade, Brit just recently learned how John showers.
BuzzFeed spoke to Brit who said she just randomly decided to ask him out of curiosity. "When he told me, I immediately whipped out my phone saying, 'You have GOT to say that again on video because I doubt many women know that many men shower their 'hot spots' only," she laughed.
So, Brit did just that and John demonstrated his showering routine for all of TikTok to see:
"I'm just so upset. I found out how my husband washes his body in the shower," starts Brit in the video that has been viewed over 3 million times.
She then asks John to explain how he showers. He states that he washes his beard first and pantomimes the action.
Brit then asks him to show the amount of effort he uses, so he rubs his hands a bit more vigorously on his beard, and then on his head. (I am assuming this is done with soap since Brit mentions it in the video, but John does not specify.)
Next John explains that he gets a little bit of Aleavia Coastal Woodlands body cleanse and what he does next makes Brit admit she is "scared for her life."
"I do a triangle," John confidently states.
He then vigorously demonstrates what the "triangle" is.
It is cleaning the area straight across the lower part of your belly.
And then using force to clean down the sides of your pubic bone down to your crotch.
Fearfully, I present, THE TRIANGLE:
Some people refer to this as the "triangle of evil":
After asking him to stop the demonstration twice, John finally snaps out of triangle mode and moves on to his final step: "THE AMEX."
"You get out your Mastercard, and then you AMEX," John confidently says. This is where he shows how he cleans in between his butt cheeks using a credit card swiping motion.
"SWIPE IT, SHOOT IT, CABOOT IT." —John
Confused as to how that is the end of the shower, Brit asks, "...You don't even wash your pits?" John then thinks about it for a bit and shrugs, saying, "Sometimes."
"You don't even round the corners of your (butt)cheeks and you sit on public toilets?!" Brit rightfully questions.
"ROUND THE CORNERS?! I AM GOING TO LATHER MY CHEEKS? BROTHERRRRRRR," states John, before adding, "I don't ever poop in public."
Still in disbelief, Brit asks, "You've never even washed your legs or feet?" To which John explains, "I mean, yeah, if I have to. If I get, like, a tattoo or something."
Finally, the video ends with Brit's final thoughts and acceptable conclusion: "YOU CAN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE."
As expected, the comments came flooding in:
People were not scared to call out John for his simplified shower method:
And even though some scolded her for not knowing this information beforehand...
Many acknowledged that he probably showers more thoroughly than a lot of men:
It made some single people thankful they weren't in relationships:
And others start generating new requirements for dating:
Brit even made a lighthearted response video after some people said she needs to start showering with John to supervise.
John told BuzzFeed he has never thought about showering much, and he doesn't recall anyone ever teaching him how to. "I don't smell, and I don't work in a coal mine so water on my limbs and body wash on my triangle seems to do the trick."
Brit said she had always just assumed most men lather from head to toe. "Although it's taboo — as I've learned through the thousands of comments on the viral video — we don't regularly shower together. We both love our showers in peace and we're very routine oriented people so it never dawned on me that half of the country showers at the same time, just bumping into each other trying to reach for the shampoo. He showers every morning like clockwork so I never questioned if he was clean," she added.
The couple also owns their own holistic skincare company called SMEAR, which makes grass-fed and finished beef tallow skincare products. "Since we started our company back in 2020, John has really gotten on board with the holistic lifestyle switches. I think, as a society, we are so grossed out by ourselves because we're hyper-clean to a fault. Everything is a reason to use hand sanitizer. Our skin can suffer terribly because of the overwashing, and protecting your microbiome is what is actually keeping your skin clean and healthy. It's a total culture shift for our country, which loves to use the carwash method to take a shower. Your microbiome is your skin's defense system! So, even though it's shocking to watch someone do the 'triangle,' it makes the most sense!" You can read more about John and Brit's beef tallow products here.
Finally, John made it clear that he does not plan to change his showering routine because it works for him. "I refuse to let millions of people sway my triangle-shower method. It works," he laughed. You can follow the couple on TikTok for more fun!
