Another day, another viral TikTok in which a seemingly lovely wife and mom is sending people into a tailspin over her husband’s behavior. The TikTok in question is by mom of two Susan Lehman, who recently shared a clip of herself waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes that had been left behind by her husband the evening prior.
Panning over the cluttered sink, she explained that her husband had entertained guests for a “big game” the night before. “Look at all these freaking dishes in the sink,” she said with an understandably annoyed tone, before panning to a handwritten note left on the countertop.
The note read “I got it!” with an arrow pointing to the sink mess.
It seems that Lehman, a hairstylist, and her husband Matt had been working on creating more of a balance between parenting and household duties with their two teenage sons, and she was appreciative that he acknowledged his mess. “What a good guy,” she said. “I just love that he acknowledges that he left a mess in the sink, and don’t worry, he’ll take responsibility for it.”
“We’ve come so far,” she added.
Reactions to the clip were mixed, with some commenters calling the note “the bare minimum” and noting that “the bar is on the floor” for men. (No lies detected!) Others appreciated that he did communicate to her that he would complete the task, with one person writing, “The fact that everything is in the sink is quite something already!”
After the video went viral (to the tune of more than three million views and counting), Lehman tried to clear the air, telling TODAY.com that her husband wasn’t always so communicative. “After we got married, we definitely fell into these very cliche roles, where I did the cleaning and he did the man things, and for a long time that arrangement worked,” she said. “And then one day I was like, ‘You know what? Other people can help me in this house.’”
Though she claims that they “both needed to change,” the couple had several “difficult” conversations. Now, he makes dinner and does laundry. “Matt and I are high school sweethearts but it feels like a new relationship,” she said. “The old me would have freaked out over the dishes and I would have probably woken him up — but the old Matt wouldn’t have left a note, either.”
Addressing the criticism from some commenters, she said, “That bare minimum note was the max for me. Our communication is better than it’s ever been and I’m proud of how far we’ve come. Everybody — our sons included — pitches in now. I can’t tell you how much our lives have changed.”
There’s definitely no reason men should get a pass for helping with basic household tasks like cleaning up their own messes, so here’s hoping Lehman (and all other husbands out there) continue to step it up and do more than just the bare minimum.