Hugh Dennis: 'I try to go so fast that it's impossible for anyone to heckle'

·2-min read

The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen …

Rowan Atkinson doing his school register sketch, live in Birmingham in the very early 90s. Or, on TV, Bob Newhart doing a phone call to Walter Raleigh, in which Walt tries to explain the benefits of tobacco. Genius.

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The funniest film I’ve ever seen …

Actually a very serious film, which I can’t remember the name of, at an open-air cinema in Rome. Made funny by the fact that just as we seemed to be building towards a crucial part of the plot, a door opened in the middle of the screen and a lady stepped out selling ice-cream.

The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …

Steve Punt and I have always tried to go so fast that it’s physically impossible to heckle.

The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …

I have only really ever had one hairstyle, so I guess this one.

The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned …

Jeans my mother lengthened for me when I was having a growth spurt when I was about 12. Rather than adding a bit of material to the bottom, she decided to add a bit of blue ribbon to each leg just above the knee. Bizarre. I never wore them.

The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten …

I travelled across Canada on the Canadian Pacific Railway when I was 18. I didn’t realise how long the journey was – four days – and I didn’t buy enough food. All I had was four slabs of Philadelphia cream cheese and some biscuits. Started as a funny thing, but ended as a bit of a nightmare. Very hungry by the time I got to Vancouver.

The funniest dream I’ve ever had …

I don’t dream that much, but for a long time I had a recurring dream which wasn’t funny at all. I was in a physics exam, and was asked a question by a teacher which I constantly got wrong. Big laughs.

The funniest word …

Turbot.

Hugh Dennis hosts the Alzheimer’s Society’s virtual comedy night, Thursday 11 March, alzheimers.org.uk/jokes-on-you-dementia

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