4 ways to 'keep calm when I have no idea what is going on,' according to therapists
You asked on Yahoo Search. Our journalists are answering.
Question: “How to stay calm when I have no idea what is going on?” That's a question Yahoo Search users would like to know the answer to, according to 2024 data, and is one of the top health-related queries of the year so far.
Answer: We spoke with experts to get you 4 easy tips.
Check in with yourself First, try to “tune into your emotions,” says psychologist Debbie Sorensen. She suggests labeling the specific emotions you’re feeling in moments of anxiety instead of becoming overwhelmed by the uncertainty. “Say to yourself, ‘I am feeling ____,’ and fill in the blank; it’s a way of having more openness, awareness and acceptance of that feeling,” she says.
Use your senses Dr. Ozan Toy, a psychiatrist, is a big fan of the “5-4-3-2-1 method,” he tells Yahoo Life. To use this technique, you can engage each of your senses to first identify five things you see, then four things you can touch, then three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. You can change up the order however you’d like. “This question [from Yahoo searchers] reflects a need for grounding during moments when the person feels overwhelmed or disconnected from their surroundings,” he says. Focusing on your senses can get you back in touch with the external world rather than the rising tide of anxiety within.
Move your body One of the ways our bodies respond to stress or fear is to tense up or hunch over in a protective posture. “One tip is to look at how we are holding our bodies when we work,” suggests somatic therapist Shay DuBois. “I often find myself hunched over my laptop. In the outside world that body posture would suggest worry, stress, protectiveness. When I do a balancing exercise to realign myself, I find my shoulders go down and my breathing deepens.” DuBois’s favorite balancing exercise can easily be done while sitting in a chair at home. Sit at the edge of a chair with your feet on the ground. Lean your chest forward until your body is at a 45-degree angle (and don’t use your hands to support yourself). While in this position, DuBois says to note “what muscles engage to keep you from face-planting,” such as those in your abs, back and sides. Then, lean back again. “Find the place where neither the front nor the back of the body are engaged,” DuBois says. After this exercise, “the clenching in my body drops off and my mind gets a sense of calm.”
Use your breath A quick search will show you countless breathing or meditation exercises. Many of these are effective ways to do what psychologist Kevin Chapman calls “anchoring in the present.” But the version he likes best is simple: “I would take a deep breath, inhaling through my nose for four to five seconds, and then exhaling through my mouth for six seconds, which stimulates heart-lung synchronization,” he says. “It’s like pressing the physiological reset button.” That should help slow down the anxious, racing thoughts and feelings. Then, when you’re feeling a little calmer, Chapman says to do a “three-point check”: Ask yourself what you’re thinking, feeling and doing. “That will give you a clue as to what you should do,” he says. “Should I leave, should I stay, I can actually handle this, I can tolerate being uncomfortable, I can survive the moment.”
If these feelings are intense or persistent, talk to a therapist or health care provider.
Asking "how to stay calm when I have no idea what is going on?" may seem random — especially for more than 8,000 people to wonder, name and then search the exact same phrase — so it's important to understand the why. Experts point to a few possible reasons: uncertainty, discomfort and anxiety.
Uncertainty and confusion This a theme Sorensen has clocked in her practice. “I heard a lot of that during COVID, and it continues to this day,” she says. Uncertainty can operate on two levels: the personal and the societal. “Often people don’t know what’s going to happen in their relationships, in their careers or with their health — all of those are important domains,” Sorensen explains. “And things have felt uncertain in the world in general, and we have an election coming up.”
Discomfort That sensation of discomfort comes in part from the fact that we physically respond to uncertainty as a threat, DuBois and psychotherapist Lauren Farina say. “Human beings associate ‘knowing what’s going on’ with control, and therefore safety,” says Farina. “Having ‘no idea what’s going on’ is registered as a threat, or danger, to the nervous system.” And that triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response, which may come with physical symptoms including “tensing, hunching [and] dry mouth,” says DuBois. “The brain responds with anxiety, panic or confusion, even when the conscious mind isn’t sure of the specific threat,” she notes.
Anxiety Chapman, who specializes in treating anxiety disorders, says that people searching this question are likely experiencing anxiety. “Anxiety is a future-oriented emotion that involves thoughts of uncontrollability and unpredictability of future events,” he explains. “A lot of people struggle with what I call ‘I.O.U.’ — and that means an intolerance of uncertainty, not knowing.” Chapman says that people who struggle with anxiety may try to find ways to control the situation to help them cope with that uncertainty, but that often backfires. “Oftentimes, when people have ambiguity about what’s happening in the present or uncertainty about what’s happening in the future, they tend to be uncomfortable.” If you're feeling anxious, you're not alone. Anxiety, according to 2020 data from the Centers for Disease Control, impacts millions of U.S. adults and more than 15% experienced symptoms of anxiety that were either mild, moderate or severe in the past two weeks.
