How my IBD diagnosis forced me to take control of my anxiety

Orla Pentelow, 31, from North London, was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a form of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), in 2017 after years of stomach trouble. Despite painful and sometimes debilitating symptoms, she’s found her own ways to manage the autoimmune condition – and the anxiety that comes with it.

Even before my 2017 inflammatory bowel disease diagnosis, my anxiety was at an all-time high. My symptoms – a glamorous combination of debilitating stomach pain and a constant need to hit the bathroom – were rife, and I was at a key point in my career.

I’d just completed an internship at a fashion magazine (actually glamorous) and was ready to take the next steps, but personally, I was struggling. Badly.

Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) is a term for two conditions (Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis) that are characterised by chronic inflammation of the gastrointestinal (GI) tract.

Anxiety and IBD

This year, World IBD Day (19 May) aptly falls on the Friday of Mental Health Awareness week, and even more fitting is the 2023 theme: anxiety.

The two live side-by-side, co-existing in my body like troublesome siblings that get along one minute, and are pulling each other’s hair out the next.

Living with UC means becoming an expert in locating the nearest toilet, wherever you go. Even when the condition is managed well – what we call being in remission – a flare can hit at any time, so it's a constant anxious battle to not be too far from the porcelain throne we like to call home.

But it's not only the physical symptoms that can cause anxiety in IBD patients. Anxiety in turn can also manifest itself in physical symptoms. It's a vicious cycle.

Coming to terms with my diagnosis

At first, even talking about the possibility of a diagnosis was stressful. I felt self-conscious and even my best friends and family didn’t quite realise the extent of my symptoms.

For some reason, talking about “going for a number two” is taboo. There are hundreds of hilarious synonyms for it, but talking about it openly is another thing.

It feels embarrassing. But, as the saying goes, when life gives you lemons, make a joke out of it, right?

So, I decided to embrace the absurdity of my situation and try to find humour in the most awkward moments.

I discovered that sharing my experiences with friends and family not only lightened the burden on my shoulders but also helped them to get to grips with what I was going through.

It turned out that they were more supportive and understanding than I could have ever imagined. Plus, nothing beats the feeling of laughing together at a situation that would otherwise make you cringe.

Making it a ‘normal’ part of conversation also meant that when I am struggling with a flare, it's easier to bring up and talk about. It's not out of the blue.

Managing my anxiety

In addition to finding the funny side (everyone loves a poo joke at the end of the day), I realised that setting boundaries was crucial in managing my anxiety symptoms.

When you have a chronic illness, it's easy to get caught up in a whirlwind of stress and constantly worrying about the what-ifs. But here's the thing: worrying doesn't solve anything.

Instead, I had to learn to focus on what I could control, and set clear boundaries to protect my mental well-being, which in turn helped to ease my more severe IBD symptoms.

For instance, I started saying "no" more often. I used to feel guilty for turning down invitations or cancelling plans at the last minute due to the unpredictable nature of my condition. But I quickly realised that my health should always come first and those who want to be in my life will understand.

Sure, I’ve lost a couple of friends along the way, who didn’t quite “get it”, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

After time to think (and crying into several glasses of wine), I’ve come out the other side stronger and with better relationships with those who’ve stuck around through the shit times (excuse the pun).

Setting boundaries means understanding my limitations and not pushing myself beyond what not only my body can handle, but what I can handle mentally manage without burning out.

For me, it means prioritising self-care and allowing myself to rest when needed, without feeling guilty about it.

As anyone who knows me personally can attest, “letting go” and “not overthinking” aren’t exactly my strong points, but I’ve learnt that it works for me, and maintaining that consistency has meant I have just as full a life as anyone else.

IBD and anxiety coping methods

Others with IBD will have their own methods: from sound baths, to embracing cold showers Wim Hoff style, I’ve heard it all.

Meditation and breath work can be a huge help too. If it's a particular event or place you’re worried about visiting, visualising it ahead of time can help ease the symptom-based anxieties.

If I’ve learnt anything since my diagnosis, it's that people with IBD can’t handle any more shit (literally) and so, if they have found something that helps keep their anxiety, it's worth a shot in my book.