Homeowner Who Refuses to Compromise with His Girlfriend on a Kitchen Renovation Has Reddit Divided
“Ultimately I paid for the house entirely, so I believe it should be my say,” the man wrote on Reddit
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A couple fighting while painting a wall (stock image)A man is refusing to compromise with his girlfriend on a home renovation — and the Reddit community is divided over whether he’s in the wrong.
The man shared his story on the site’s popular “Am I the A------” forum on Friday, Jan. 31, noting that while his girlfriend lives with him, he owns the property and pays the mortgage.
He detailed how he is in the process of renovating the house — a project which he notes he is solely financing — and that he and his girlfriend are in disagreement on one significant detail: the kitchen.
“I want to break down the divide between the kitchen and the living room to create an open plan living room,” he explained. However, he said his girlfriend prefers to keep the divider, but suggested a compromise in which they make the kitchen smaller and the living room bigger while still leaving a divide in place.
The original poster (OP) wrote that he ultimately decided to stick with his own preference, opting for no divider and an open floor plan, “which upset her” and made her feel like “I am not making this feel like her home.”
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A couple upset while painting (stock image)“I otherwise try to make her feel like it's her home too e.g. she has brought in her own decorations and furniture,” the man said, while also claiming that he never holds it “over her head that I own the place.”
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“But with such a big decision like renovation, I believe that should be entirely up to me,” he concluded, before asking fellow Redditors if he’s the “a------” for not compromising.
Some commenters were strongly Team OP — but only because they simply didn’t like the girlfriend’s idea of making a kitchen smaller as a general rule.
“Never make a kitchen smaller! That can impact the value of your house!” said one person.
Others said they believed the OP was in the right based on the fact that he pays the mortgage and it's his investment.
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A couple painting wall (stock image)Related: Man Says His Girlfriend Is 'Upset' That He's Comfortable Talking About 'Women Things'
“NTA [not the a------],” one person wrote. ”You asked for her input, it wasn't what you envisioned and since it's your home not hers, you get the final vote.”
“If she wants some say, she can offer to pay half the mortgage,” added another.
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Others, meanwhile, said that while they understood where the OP was coming from, he still may want to reconsider his total lack of compromise, noting that he may unknowingly send a hurtful message to his partner.
“You need to recognize that this sends a message to the other person, and think long and hard about whether that's the message you want to send,” wrote one person.
“If I was in the girlfriend's place, I wouldn't argue, since he is right that it's his house and his money and he can do what he likes. But I absolutely would take it as a sign that he ‘isn't in it for the long haul,' " they added.
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