Here's Why Everyone Is Talking About Ballerina Farm, AKA "The Queen Of The Trad Wives"
In a world where conservatives argue America is being run by "a bunch of childless cat ladies," it's not too surprising that all eyes are on the "trad wives" — the child-rearing, home-focused women who've publicly adopted traditional gender roles despite the girlbossing generation that came before them.
You may have heard of Nara Smith, the 22-year-old model-turned-mom-of-three who often goes viral for her hushed, ASMR-like videos where she makes things from scratch (often wearing vintage '50s-style clothes). Then there's 34-year-old Hannah Neeleman — better known as Ballerina Farm — whose profile in the Times, labeling her the "queen of the trad wives," went viral this past week for giving curious readers a peek into why a Juilliard-trained ballerina traded pointe shoes for farm life and childbearing.
For her 9.5 million Instagram and 9 million TikTok followers, Hannah's life is filled with cooking (milking cows and churning butter included) and farm-tending, all while looking after eight little ones who both tug at her sleeve and help with the farm chores.
Now, Hannah is going viral not because of her flower-designing or perfectly poached egg recipe but because of a profile that revealed what life actually might look like on the Ballerina Farm — from exhaustion to a husband and eight kids who seemingly never leave her side.
At one point, the writer asked Hannah if this was the life she always wanted, and Hannah admitted that no, it was New York City and to be a ballerina. She told the Times, "I was a good ballerina. But I knew that when I started to have kids, my life would start to look different."
This prompted a response from fans who commented just how intense Juilliard is to get into, echoing how much Hannah had to leave behind.
I don’t think people understand just how insane it is that #ballerinafarm left julliard to start a family. They chose 12 female dancers a year to be accepted into that program. She would’ve gone so far.
— Paris (@Paris1452509) July 25, 2024
Juilliard accepts only up to 24 dance applicants each year (in the past, that's meant 12 women and 12 men). In 2011, 561 applied (a 4% acceptance rate).
The woman gave up Juilliard! You don’t just get into one of the most competitive arts schools cause you’re good, you have to be a great ballerina. They accept like 12 women and 12 men a year. I can’t. I can’t!
— Caroline Renard (@carolinerenard_) July 26, 2024
Others have pointed out that Hannah's quote — "I was a good ballerina" — undermines her skill.
Later in the article, Daniel said Hannah "sometimes gets so ill from exhaustion that she can't get out of bed for a week," which prompted people to express concern.
That Ballerina Farm article is insane. Like you watch your wife get so exhausted from doing childcare and all the “from scratch” cooking that she can’t get out of the bed for a week at a time and that’s not a concern??
— Jari (@wheremysnacks) July 24, 2024
Another moment that caught readers' attention was when Hannah discussed how she gave birth to all her babies at home, aside from her daughter, Martha, with whom she had an epidural because she was "two weeks overdue" and "Daniel wasn't with [her]." She told the Times that the epidural was "an amazing experience" and "kinda great," despite birthing all her other children with no pain relief. In response, one user wrote, "we have to SAVE HERRRRRRR," in a viral tweet.
we have to SAVE HERRRRRRR https://t.co/B9Ti8jKuEv pic.twitter.com/5XHyIzk8cH
— katie (@focusfronting) July 25, 2024
Lastly, the internet has been critiquing Daniel — first, because he allegedly would speak over Hannah, as observed by the Times writer. They wrote in the article, "I can’t, it seems, get an answer out of Neeleman without her being corrected, interrupted or answered for by either her husband or a child."
Second, Daniel is facing critique because of how he pursued Hannah. Despite Hannah previously telling Daniel she didn't want to date, Daniel told the Times he found the flight she was on at JetBlue (his father's company), pulled some strings, and "made a call" to get seated next to her.
According to the Times, after a month, they got engaged, two months later, they were married, and three months later, Hannah was pregnant.
In a viral tweet, one person called the date "engineered" against a "vulnerable young woman":
finally read the ballerina farms article. please can we talk about how this billionaire heir engineered a “first date” with a vulnerable young woman travelling alone, locked her in and then completely isolated her in a foreign country to be his own personal incubator pic.twitter.com/8vrLstcnHb
— mj (@bigdybbukenergy) July 25, 2024
Another person wrote, "That man used his dad's connections to stalk her flight itinerary & forced their '1st date' after she spent 6 [months] saying NO to him. This same man doesn't want to buy her a ticket to Greece. That woman is basically the ballerina in the trinket box - lifeless."
That man used his dad’s connections to stalk her flight itinerary & forced their “1st date” after she spent 6 mo saying NO to him. This same man doesn’t want to buy her a ✈️ ticket to Greece. That woman is basically the ballerina in the trinket box - lifeless😖 #ballerinafarm pic.twitter.com/Ut1AxenDyR
— ♉️ cuntry tyrant🫦 (@RobynDMarley_) July 26, 2024
The "take her to Greece!" comment refers to a video that went viral after the article was published where Hannah opens a birthday present from her husband, hopes it's tickets to Greece, and instead gets an egg apron.
Yall think that ballerina farms article is bad 🤭Look what he got her for her birthday… the billionaire that owns an AIRLINE & listen… pic.twitter.com/8vMmv0DmDf
— 🤠 (@sisogynist) July 24, 2024
@ballerinafarm / Via Twitter: @sisogynist
The video garnered a lot of attention, with one person writing, "When I say the alarms are blaring, I mean THIS. She asked for a trip to Greece, which they CAN AFFORD and he gave her an apron, for which he demands a thank you. That is how he views her: a thing he possesses, controls, in fulfillment of his own ego. I've known too many Daniels."
When I say the alarms are blaring, I mean THIS. She asked for a trip to Greece, which they CAN AFFORD and he gave her an apron, for which he demands a thank you. That is how he views her: a thing he possesses, controls, in fulfillment of his own ego.I’ve known too many Daniels. https://t.co/mJrnKEiq11
— Colombia (@jet_set) July 25, 2024
Since publishing, many, many others have shared their thoughts online. One person said it was the "saddest" thing they've read:
This Hannah Neeleman’s story is the saddest thing I’ve read in a long time. That man could pull strings to get on the same flight she was on for their “first date” but he couldn’t get her a plane ticket to Greece for her birthday after 8 children???
— Tiaraoluwa 💕 (@TheOluwabukunmi) July 26, 2024
Other fans have taken to Ballerina Farm's social media pages to share their feelings. Some have written to Hannah directly, commenting on her page things like, "I hope one day you get the chance to dance again," and expressing concern over her alleged situation, including being able to use her voice and getting help.
And others have instead written on her husband's social media page. One person wrote, "Give her a dance studio, hire help for the kids, and take her to Greece!" Several commenters have referenced Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" song, commenting, "Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world."
Of course, not everyone thinks Hannah needs help. Some have pointed out that through all this discourse — from her husband allegedly talking over her to the journalist's own opinions — Hannah hasn't really had a voice, and maybe she likes her life.
In a Times podcast episode that included clipped recordings from the original interview, there were a few quotes from Hannah's perspective that were not included in the written article. First, Hannah told the Times that Daniel encouraged her to dance if that's what she wanted. She said, "We were open to anything, but I knew deep down that I wanted to raise my babies."
Later, Hannah said she and Daniel are in a partnership and that she doesn't "feel like I'm at home raising kids by myself. Like, that's hard. Women need support. So when Daniel said, 'OK let's build something together,' we really carried the mantle together."
Still, others have come forward and expressed concern, even if this was her choice. One ex-Mormon woman, Hayley Rawle, said in a TikTok, "We will never know if Hannah Neeleman herself is really happy or really fulfilled, or if she chose this life for herself. What I do know, as an ex-Mormon woman, is that the dynamic, at least that's portrayed in the article, between Hannah and her husband Daniel was incredibly unsurprisingly and deeply, deeply familiar."
"Whether Hannah Neeleman really had a choice to choose that, or she was pressured into it by the patriarchal powers that be, the Mormon messaging, the messaging from her husband, again, we don't know. I know that I felt immense pressure that I still work against to this day. Even with a progressive ex-Mormon husband, I am still unpacking the layers of that inside of myself. Also, having shame around wanting to contribute beyond that."
And as others pointed out, even if Hannah did not like her situation and wanted to leave, it's understandable that it would not be easy...
I’m glad people are recognizing the red flags in the Ballerina Farm article but I need those of you saying “why doesn’t she leave?” try to imagine how you flee a billionaire who controls your finances, keeps you on a rural farm, and has unlimited resources to fight for custody.
— Jenna (@JennaACY) July 26, 2024
...especially if you've only known highly controlled situations your whole life.
Some of the people in these comments... sympathy is not a non-renewable resource. She went from one high-control group (Mormonism) to a second (ballet) to a third (this man and also Mormonism) while still SO young. There are many people I feel worse for, but I feel awful for her.
— Patricia Wallinga (@pwallinga) July 25, 2024
For now, Hannah Neeleman has made her first post since the profile and ensuing internet discussion began. In a TikTok, frolicking in a field of cows while holding her baby and kissing Daniel, she voices over how she started her dairy farm and announces that products will soon be in stock. "It's the world we created, and I couldn't love it more," she ended.
That's a wrap for now on the Ballerina Farm discourse from my side, but let me know what you think below.
BuzzFeed has reached out to Hannah Neeleman for a response.