We got rid of our third bedroom to make the primary one bigger. We still regret having our kids share a room 7 years later.

We got rid of our third bedroom to make the primary one bigger. We still regret having our kids share a room 7 years later.
  • Seven years ago, we took our ranch from three bedrooms to two to make the primary bedroom bigger.

  • My daughters' sharing a room has led to little space, lots of clutter, and constant arguments.

  • Now, we're planning to renovate again to add a second floor and give them their own rooms.

Seven years ago, my husband and I took our 900-square-foot ranch from three bedrooms to two.

Much of our $60,000 renovation budget went to a new kitchen and relocated basement stairs, but we used the rest to split the middle bedroom in two.

Half of that space went to our primary, and the rest was joined with the other remaining bedroom, creating an 11-by-12-foot space for our daughters to share.

We've regretted it ever since.

Many people in my life advised me not to do this, but I didn't listen

When making my plans, my main thought was that our bedroom was too small. My husband and I were squeezing past each other each time we got ready and waiting for the other to dress so we could reach our own clothes.

For me, the only logical solution was to make our bedroom bigger and have our kids share a room. Fellow parents and even my husband didn't think this was a good idea, but I ignored them.

Instead, I thought fancifully about the bonds my girls could build within those four walls and imagined the fun they'd have growing up in the same room, just as I did with my sister.

My girls don't have enough space and their living styles aren't compatible

Room with two beds with coral comforters
Our girls have struggled with sharing a bedroom.Daniel Cortez/Getty Images

Today, I'm very much reaping what I sowed.

One of my daughters is messy and nonchalant while the other is organized and opinionated.

Instead of their shared space bringing them closer, it serves as a major point of contention between them.

They love each other but, every day, they fight over something concerning their room: closet doors left open, a cluttered nightstand, lights left on at bedtime.

When I made this decision, I didn't know their developing personalities wouldn't mesh in a roommate way. I also should've realized that as they grew, their belongings would, too.

The single five-drawer dresser that could once hold all their clothes is now overflowing. I spend many a morning stuffing sweatpants and jeans down so its drawers can shut.

My now-13-year-old's woman-sized clothing needs full-sized hangers, which don't fit in her child-sized closet. The hangers jut upward on one side while her clothes are pressed together like sardines in a tin.

As a little girl, she had only a brush, some hair ties, and bows. Now, she needs space for makeup, skincare, hair straighteners, and curling irons.

As her collection of adolescent items grows, so does her younger sister's resentment toward the disparity of storage space … and back to arguing we go.

We're planning to renovate again, in part so our daughters get their own rooms

I'm grateful our daughters have enough things that their drawers are too full — and there are certainly families who successfully share smaller spaces — but this setup doesn't work for us.

Moving isn't an option right now, so we're renovating again to add a second floor to our house. My daughters' bedroom issues aren't the only reason we're doing so, but they're definitely a contributing factor.

I'm excited to add a larger pantry, upstairs laundry room, and primary bathroom, but I'm downright elated that my girls won't have to share a space.

I can't wait for the day when they'll no longer fight over who has an inch more space atop the dresser.

Yes, they'll still argue — they're siblings, after all — but I'm confident my kids will get along better when they have some privacy and space from each other.

Maybe absence will even make their hearts grow a little fonder.

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