This is how we do it: ‘As I got older, I struggled to have an erection … then my wife introduced her alter ego, Miss Fifi’
Eric, 76
Violet is beautiful, she always has been, and as Miss Fifi she puts on sexy underwear, which really turns me on
When Violet and I first got together almost 30 years ago, we had sex every night. That lasted for 12 years. We’d have sex in all kinds of different positions and she made it very exciting for me.
Sex with her has always been absolutely fantastic, but about 10 years ago I started having difficulty getting hard. Due to my age, I’m now much less able to have an erection and I can’t ejaculate during intercourse. When you’re young, you don’t think about what’s going to happen when you’re an old man. It’s incredibly disappointing, and it makes me feel inadequate.
We discussed using Viagra, but Violet was against it as the erections can last quite a long time. Still, she recognised what was happening and she has helped me a lot. To build my desire, she created a character: a very sexy woman called Miss Fifi.
We have sex at least once a week now, and she uses her hands to make me ejaculate
Violet is beautiful, she always has been, and as Miss Fifi she puts on sexy underwear which really turns me on. We also use prompt cards we got from a Valentine’s Day game which say things like “massage”, “romantic romp” and “long hug with optional bottom squeezing”, so we’ll put these on each other’s pillows to indicate what we want to do. I must admit it’s very helpful for me because I’ve always been a bit embarrassed talking about sex and asking her to do things in the bedroom. If she leaves the massage card on my pillow, that’s her telling me that she fancies having an orgasm. I know that afterwards she’ll probably want to go straight to sleep, so the following day she might do the same for me, give me a massage and give me an orgasm.
We have sex at least once a week now, and she uses her hands to make me ejaculate. I can still have intercourse with her and it’s lovely, but I just can’t orgasm. I’ve always loved penetrative sex and feel incredibly close to her that way, so I do miss it. I don’t feel that using hands is as loving. But I know that she does all this for my sake, as I’ve always had a strong sex drive, whereas I suspect now she could probably take it or leave it. I’m so grateful to her for still wanting to please me.
Callout
Violet, 83
Miss Fifi always wears very sexy underwear and behaves in an overtly sexy way, which is not usually my style
I met Eric when I was 50, and I remember telling myself that this was a do-or-die moment – if you really want this guy then there’s no point being all prim and proper about it. I said to myself: “You know what men really like, it’s down to you, girl.” So, on a particular meeting I took the initiative and just went down on him, and that was the beginning of it all.
In the earlier part of our relationship sex was all-consuming. It was every day, sometimes more than once, but usually in the evenings as we both worked. You would expect it to wane over the years, but it never really did. Only in recent years when Eric has had difficulties due to his age have things started to change. Although the desire is very much still there for Eric, he gets frustrated that he can’t always do what’s required when he wants to.
Sometimes I’ll go the whole hog and do the stockings, suspenders and high heels
Sex is really high on Eric’s priority list whereas, as I get older, I need a bit more coaxing. Still, I would never turn him down. I would quite happily hang up my boots and not bother now, but I know that would be hugely frustrating for Eric. What bothers me is the impact that my waning desire might have on him, so I try to put that out of sight. And, of course, once we get started it’s no problem at all.
Miss Fifi always wears very sexy underwear and behaves in an overtly sexy way, which is not usually my style. This has been the real spark that’s helped him through it. Miss Fifi is stimulating for both of us. It’s not just a question of wearing a sexy bra and pants, sometimes I’ll go the whole hog and do the stockings, suspenders and high heels. He really loves that. He’ll normally ask me if Miss Fifi is around tonight, and that’s an indication that we’ll have a bit of a romp at bedtime. Miss Fifi still prevails – I think our sex life has contributed to the length and happiness of our marriage.
