My girlfriend dumped me after I moved home to care for my ill father
Jonathan* , then 26, gave up everything to care for his father as he battled with stage four cancer, but when he decided to move in with his dad, he never expected his girlfriend to be so annoyed, she would end their relationship.
When I first met Emily*, I was 22, and just graduating from university. We'd met at a mutual friend’s house party and I was immediately smitten. She had the most beautiful smile and a magnetic energy about her. Over time, I also discovered she could make me laugh more than anyone else I’ve ever met.
We fell in love hard and fast. She always made me feel at ease and vice versa. I could always be myself around her – a new feeling as, before then, I'd battled with various insecurities.
In our four years together, Emily was there for me during some of the hardest days of my life, including the day my dad was diagnosed with stage four liver cancer.
I was beside myself when I found out. I'd already lost my mum to breast cancer when I was nine and was crushed at the thought of losing Dad too. It was a lot to process, but there was no question – he needed me and I was going to drop everything to be there for him.
The next day, I quit my job, put up ads to sub-let my room and told my dad that I was leaving London to be with him in Bristol. Emily was as supportive as could be. She helped me pack up my flat and even let me store some boxes at her place while I was away.
We took the train to Bristol together where she stayed the week with my dad and I, before heading back home. We FaceTimed every night and spent every weekend together, and it didn’t feel like much had changed between us.
Resentment building up
As time went on though, Emily got more and more resentful of me leaving to look after my dad. He was getting more and more ill, and I could never tell if he’d even make it through to the next day.
His 'bad days' were exhausting for us both and it meant that the 'schedule' Emily and I made was never set in stone. But I missed her and needed her more than ever on those difficult days.
Emily was frustrated that we didn’t speak as often and said that her visits weren’t worth the effort since we 'never spent time together anyway'.
Instead, Emily visited less and less. She was frustrated that we didn’t speak as often as she wanted to and said that her visits weren’t worth the effort since we 'never spent time together anyway'.
I was shocked. How could she be so heartless? How could she make my dad’s illness all about her? I couldn’t believe that the woman I loved so deeply could be so cruel. But I didn’t have the energy to fight.
Two months after I moved home to care for Dad, Emily dumped me over the phone. She told me she’d no longer be coming down, and that she 'couldn’t be with someone who just lived at home'.
I was stunned. I knew that moving back to my family home was going to test our relationship, but I never expected Emily to end things, especially this way. I was angry at her for abandoning me in my time of need and hurt at her reasoning.
Dealing with double grief
Five weeks later, Dad passed away. I hadn't wanted him to worry about me at such a difficult time, so I'd been lying and making up lots of excuses as to why Emily was no longer coming to visit at weekends. I never told him about our breakup, but deep down I suspect he knew.
Mourning my relationship with Emily and Dad’s death at the same time was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. We never spoke again, so I was surprised to see her and her family at the funeral. Although they left immediately after the procession, I appreciated her paying her respects to Dad.
I didn’t want Dad to worry about me, so I’d lie and make excuses as to why Emily wasn’t coming for the weekend.
Five years later, I ended up staying in Bristol, in the very same house where Dad raised me and where I cared for him in his last days. I never expected that I’d move back home, but after spending so much time there, I fell in love with it all over again.
I grew close to some of Dad’s best friends, which happened to be the best support circle I could have asked for to help grieve his death. And on top of reconnecting with old friends, I also got back in touch with Tamara*, my first girlfriend from secondary school, who is now my fiancée. Although I miss Dad every day, I feel closer to him than ever, and I couldn’t be happier.
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
Read more: All of Yahoo UK's How I was dumped stories.
