Gays share the anti-gay childhood memory that still haunts them & it’s SO relatable

teen looking out of a closet door
teen looking out of a closet door

Say what you will about X (formally Twitter) in the era of Elon Musk (and we have said plenty) one good thing is that it still creates a space for gays to commune, reminisce, and sometimes even commiserate.

One such thread that took off over the weekend fell firmly in the latter group. It seems the gay community on X is looking back at their earlier years to reflect on the controversial, homophobic behavior committed by their family members. With iconic memes of Rihanna and side-eye gifs of Mariah Carey, the gays are digging up skeletons in their mental closets that used to be painful, awkward memories.

Although, X is deemed a less censored space for queers to congregate and kiki — the gays will always unite to share a good laugh. (Because sometimes it’s laugh or cry!) On Saturday, X user @bigbacktivity started a thread by asking, “Gays: What’s something homophobic a loved one did when you were a child that has stayed with you as an adult?”

Since he posted it, this thread on X has amassed over 3 million views, as well as 1,200 likes and 2,800 retweets. Read carefully because the gays are pulling out their favorite saved memes and dusting off questionable coming-of-age stories.

Keep scrolling for some of the most interesting and relatable answers.

I was really insecure about my nose growing up and wanted a nose job, and my mom said to me, “no, that’s gay”. It was the first time I heard my mom use that word (and in a negative way), and the reason it took me so long to come out 😂

@bigbacktivity My uncle use to host sleepovers for all the male cousins in my family, so we could bond. 8 of us in total (including his 2 sons) & we’re all around the same age. Every cousin was invited besides me because I was the “gay one”, I was only 8yo and excluded for being “different”

@bigbacktivity *me while watching my family watch Kings of Comedy quoting Bernie Mac’s set*

@bigbacktivity My mom went on this rant about how, because I was very lactose intolerant as a newborn. She fed me soy milk instead of regular milk. And because soy milk can have some traces of estrogen. She “apologized” to me because that must be why I’m gay now. 🤷🏾‍♂️

@bigbacktivity The adoptive mother's grandson and stepson were being homophobic by referring to me as "sweetie." I tried to make them stop and went to her ass for assistance. Instead of her making them stop, she proceed to call me "sweetie." They laugh and I was humiliated! I never forgave

@bigbacktivity Been out to my dad for 20+ yrs, last father’s day he asked for the umpteenth time if I’d consider women to see if I liked it. I answered honestly (unlikely, would require the right circumstances and person, etc.). That was the 1st time I asked him if he’d ever give guys a try 😜

@bigbacktivity When I was 15, my mom told me she would never talk to me again. She also told me at 18 to run away and never keep contact with my little brother, ever again. She also told me if I ever told your father about this, I wouldn’t make it out alive. Fun times ☺️

@bigbacktivity My uncle (who was himself in the closet) told me to stop running like a sissy and hold my head up when I walk, then took his whole size 9 to my 5 year old back and kicked me to the ground. I never looked down at the floor while walking again.

@bigbacktivity On my HS Graduation my dad offered me 10K to get a girl pregnant. Then told me he’d rather me be a dboy or an inmate than be gay.

@bigbacktivity 7 year old me was at the gift shop in the childrens museum and wanted a hand fan from the gift shop. my aunt asked me “if i was fag?” i said “no.” she then said “well no fan for you” my feelings were so hurt 🙃 i never got the fan ..

Many in the thread found the shared experiences, as painful as they are, to be healing.

@bigbacktivity It’s so hard not to trauma dump under this post. I’m this close🤏🏽

@bigbacktivity These comments are super deep. Luckily some have healed from them and can even apply some humor in as well.

@bigbacktivity These comments are super deep. Luckily some have healed from them and can even apply some humor in as well.

The truth is while there is a lot of queer joy to be had, there is pain too — pain that comes from outside forces sometimes intentionally and sometimes totally by accident. But when we come together we can lift one another up, and feel less alone.