15 Things About Straight Men That Really, Really, Really Confuse Gay Men
I think we've all been in a position at some point or another where we've questioned another person's behavior. And it isn't necessarily because it's negative. For example, I never understood why people were obsessed with Twilight and always wondered why it reached almost a Harry Potter-level of fandom.
Recently, I stumbled upon a Reddit thread from a few years ago that tackled an interesting topic: things gay men don't get about straight men. It started off when user phatstock asked: "Gay men of Reddit, what’s something about straight men that doesn't make sense to you?"
The thread got lots of responses. Below are the top and most-often repeated things about straight men that don't make sense to gay men, as well as some responses to those comments from straight men:
1."I really don't understand the, 'I hate my wife' trope."
"I’ve worked with some older generations, and most of them treat it the same way. They’ll sit there and complain about their wife and being married. I’m recently married, and I’ve had several older dudes try to joke with me about it. Like…no. I actually love and enjoy my wife!"
2."My male family members make fun of me for taking skincare seriously. Bro, you don't want nice skin?"
—[deleted]
"More of a case of extreme laziness for me more than not wanting nice skin. I'll put lotion on when I get particularly itchy, though. However my wife keeps trying to sand the calluses off my feet and hands and that's something I don't understand. I worked hard for those."
3."How certain things make you 'gay' or less manly."
4."Why being gay is seen as the butt of jokes a lot of the time. Even people who claim they're not homophobic still tend to lean on 'HAHA, YOU'RE GAY, AND THAT'S FUNNY!' as a go-to joke/insult. What's the punchline? Why is it seen as funny or insulting to be gay or considered gay by straight people who claim they have no problem with gay people? I must be missing something, clearly."
—[deleted]
5."The ABSOLUTE hatred for tiny dogs. I swear to god, it’s still a dog, man, just smaller. Showing affection or walking a small animal does not make you 'gay.'"
6."A lot of straight men think gay guys want to have sex with every male they encounter. Do they feel that way around females, so they just assume we do as well? As a gay male, I just assume any other man I'm around probably isn't gay, so my thoughts never even go there. Maybe that's not an issue with females because the odds are more in their favor or something."
7."I've had so many 'straight' men try to get me to fool around with them that I believe if we didn't make such a big deal about sex, more men would be at least bi. Having said that, just because I am gay does not mean I want to fool around with every guy I see. I won't even consider sex until a few dates in."
8."What's the obsession with buying trucks?"
"If you live in a rural area, there is so much shit you can do with trucks. And tailgating in the bed with a boombox and some beers by the river is pretty fucking nice. Wanna go camping? Throw a camper shell on that bitch. Also, truck bed sex under the stars is nice."
9."Wearing sunscreen. I offer people sunscreen when I’m going to be outside with them for more than an hour. A surprising number of people turn it down. Like, man, it’s free. You’re not too tough to get skin cancer, and you’re sure as shit not stronger than the sun."
10."I don’t understand why straight men don’t want gay men around. Gay men aren’t after women, so the more there are, the less actual competition there is for the straight girls."
—[deleted]
"One reason may be that a lot of straight men think that every gay man will hit on them. I'm straight and have been hit on once by a gay man in 30 years, and I considered it very flattering. Also, the gay men I know are pretty particular."
11."Why do they have to assert their masculinity every second with literally everybody? It must suck wanting to be silly and have some fun and be reminded all the time that you have to be an epic alpha male. I know it's not every straight man, but still."
12."Not every straight man. But their contempt for women. They mansplain to them, troll their socials, criticize their looks, downplay or even oppose their views despite their validity, and they feel like you are owed sex just because she is nice or dresses sexy. And to always associate girly stuff with weakness. Toxic masculinity is just so exhausting. Men live shorter lives not because women stress them out, but because of toxic masculinity."
13."I may be late to the party on this thread, but it’s my understanding that many straight men don’t wash their asses because they think touching down there is gay; that many guys just let the water run down and hope that it does what needs to be done. Seriously? If so, that’s way gross. And just what do you think your sexual partners are encountering when they’re down in that neck of the woods?"
14."Being friends with other guys for decades and never talking about their feelings....ever....unless you're hammered? Are you guys not interested in what your friends think or feel outside of shared activities like video games or sports?"
"Not really. I have a hard enough time with my problems that hearing my friends is not something I'm interested in. I hang out with friends to FORGET my problems, drinking, BBQ, fishing, watching the fights, etc. The last thing I want to hear is about your nana being sick."
15.And lastly, "The obsession with grass and lawns. Life is too short for that bullshit."
You can read the original thread on Reddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
