The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 8-14)
Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch:
I think my son planned a birthday party and didn't tell us. These neighborhood kids showed up with presents and came inside and now they're playing.
— Back-Up Tambourine Player (@UpTambourine) February 10, 2025
Reasons my daughter has gotten mad at me this week:
-I said her favorite YouTuber has a weird voice
-I said her outfit looks nice
-I bought off-brand pop tarts— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 9, 2025
“When those don’t fit you anymore, I want them”
-My 9yo daughter choosing violence— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 13, 2025
My 7yo asked if phones were invented so teenagers wouldn't have to drag giant TVs around, and I realized it's because he thinks phones are only for watching videos, and now I need to go lie down because I'm old
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 13, 2025
My older one turned 12 today! Looking forward to the easy peasy relaxing tween years
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 12, 2025
my three yo at the dinner table:
"notice how i'm not hitting OR screaming."— emily may (@emilykmay) February 10, 2025
Someone gifted us some Berenstain Bears books and my husband said "we can read those but before we do, you should know upfront I have some issues with Lizzie."
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) February 9, 2025
The toddler said that she wants cornbread for her birthday so I'm canceling the paternity test
— Trey (@treydayway) February 12, 2025
PlayStation is down so it looks like my kids will have to go outsi- oh nevermind they found a different screen to play with.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 8, 2025
One thing they don’t tell you about being a parent is how much of your life you will spend sitting in the car waiting to pick up your kid.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 10, 2025
I used to put eggs in the trunk with the rest of the groceries but now that they are $9 a carton one of the kids can ride back there and the eggs can take a car seat
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) February 8, 2025
If you don't call your child by the wrong name multiple times in a row, are you really even a parent?
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 12, 2025
son: grandpa, can I have a sip of your coffee?
grandpa: no, it’s not good for a kid
son: because of the caffeine?
grandma: because of the whiskey— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 8, 2025
no one is actually paying $30,000 hospital bills after giving birth, right? you just get that bill in the mail and throw it in the trash, correct?
— mary morgan (@maryarchived) February 10, 2025
Me: My baby loves all the food I feed him, I must be such a good cook. He’s not picky at all 😏
My baby: *willing eats a used tissue he found in the couch* 🙃— Mandalynns23 (@mandalynns23) February 11, 2025
When my kid won't release me from watching youtube shorts pic.twitter.com/uuBLMnhOxs
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 12, 2025
Me: Just who do these little DOGE brats think they are? Shouldn’t they be in school?!
Also Me: *to my 9yo* Hey, I need your help, my phone screen is doing that freezy thing again.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 12, 2025
