The five rules to follow to look good in your holiday snaps

“The photographs are bad. You look insane in half of them. Please don’t look at them on your own.” It wasn’t the message I wanted to receive from my new husband when he opened the gallery the photographer sent of our recent wedding – but it’s the one I got earlier this summer.

And, largely, he was right. Aside from some lovely pictures in the garden right after our ceremony, most natural shots from our reception were unusable – the flash made the interior feel surgical, the high contrast made the guests appear two decades older than they were, and as for me, I looked (as one family member pointed out) like Mrs Rochester plotting a fire.

The experience has been an insight into just how important photography is. I loved my wedding dress, hair and make-up, but I’ve had better photographs taken barefaced on a windy walk in midwinter. Much of the blame I lay on myself (I have a tendency to grin manically when overexcited).

Photographs are a wonderful way of holding on to memories, but can also be a source of stress and unhappiness. This is particularly true in midsummer, as someone always gets a camera out during holidays, sports days, picnics, parties and weddings – and most women know the feeling of having an idyllic beach trip ruined by an unflattering snap that sends them retreating behind a caftan and sunglasses.

Take comfort in the fact that (a) you probably look much better than this one photograph suggests, (b) this happens to nearly everyone, and (c) the only thing that really matters after two years of cancelled holidays is how good you feel floating in the sea and reading on a lounger until the sun dips below the horizon. Equally, there are tips and tricks you can follow to look, if not younger or thinner, then more like the version of you that you like.

“It’s really hard when you have body insecurities,” says Erica Davies, a stylist with nearly 200,000 followers on Instagram. “Selfies are different because you can choose your angles – but I’m 45 and a size 14 and I’m wary of action photos. At the same time, I also know there’s real beauty to a natural shot – one that captures those moments where you’re really laughing or hugging your child. It might not feel like it now, but you won’t look back in five years’ time and think how horrible that dress was or how fat your arms look, but just how lovely the holiday was, or how happy you were.”

Davies is right, but over the years of organising photoshoots and building her brand on social media, she has also learned a few lessons midlife women could heed. “Put one foot slightly behind you and put your weight on it, as the part of you that’s closest to the camera will look biggest,” she says.

“It’s always flattering to tilt yourself slightly, so if you’re standing, move your body to one side and keep your shoulders back; if you’re sitting, twist your waist at a slight angle. And do something with your hands – hold a bag or a drink or put your arms around someone, as it can feel awkward otherwise.”

Portrait and fashion photographer Cleo Glover agrees. “Try not to be too stiff and whatever you do, don’t pout, as it will instantly look a bit forced,” she says. “A good rule is also a bit of space between you and the person taking the photo – ask them to stand back a couple of feet so it doesn’t feel so intense, or to take the photos from a higher angle as this is always the most flattering.”

Stumbling blocks

Lighting, as I learnt from my wedding, is key. All the pictures I like from the day were taken outside in the late afternoon spring sunshine – although Glover says bright sunlight is not necessarily your friend.

“As tempting as it may be to shoot as soon as the sun comes, I would wait,” she says. “Direct light can create really harsh shadows and cause you to squint. Cloudy overcast light is actually great for shooting as it will soften you. Sunshine looks lovely towards the end of the day when the sun is a bit lower in the sky, so hold out and get that gorgeous golden light.”

If you have a few photographs where you love the composition but worry you don’t look your best, Glover suggests trying them in black and white. “I personally feel black and white can be super flattering,” she says. “The great thing about iPhones is this is something you can add later on, so shoot in colour and then have a play with putting some in black and white later.”

Then there is the question of what to do with your mouth. Line five women up for a photograph and a few will grin, a few will pout, and one (perhaps having watched too many episodes of America’s Next Top Model) will attempt an enigmatic half-smile or “smize”.

“I’m a big fan of a real smile, but only at about 90 per cent,” says Katherine Ormerod, a writer, designer and influencer who has built up a following of 70,000 on Instagram. “I’m not saying ‘dampen down the joy’ but if I do full laughter, I can look a bit drunk. Equally, a real smile is so much better than a fake one. For years, I was so conscious of my teeth; now I’ve had Invisalign, I relax more into a smile and you can really tell – I look at old pictures and can see I’m smiling but not in the most natural way. I’ve also learned not to hold my mouth in a specific way that looks good in the mirror but looks forced on camera.”

Davies agrees, adding: “We’re now living in a selfie culture where people pout, but the best photographs are usually when someone is laughing or smiling, so just relax if you can.”

Relaxing is easier when you feel confident you look good. Finding clothes that work in photographs is key, but it’s also highly personal and very much linked to your relationship with your body and to your style. Yes, black can be slimming but so can busy prints or just a well-cut pair of jeans – while cream or white can light up your face and give you a real glow on camera.

“Rather than rules about stripes or prints, I think about how comfortable I feel in certain pieces,” says Ormerod, who has created a capsule collection with Baukjen that’s designed to look good on camera. “If you’re worried about pinching or showing bra straps, you’ll immediately look uncomfortable. As women, our bodies are often in flux and if a dress doesn’t feel right, don’t wear it as that awkwardness will come through.”

The unforgiving lens

One thing I learnt from my wedding day is that sometimes the camera picks up on lumps and bumps the human eye can’t see – I had a straight, fitted dress that looked great in real life, but which looked tighter in some of the professional pictures. If you’re wearing something that clings to the body and you’re worried about pictures, I’d suggest going a size up.

Then there is make-up, which – as any of us who have been snapped barefaced at breakfast on Christmas morning will know – increases the likelihood of getting a good photograph.

“The top three points to hit are moisturised glowy, highlighted skin, bronzer and manicured brows,” says make-up artist Terri Capon.

In summer, liquid or cream products last longer under hot conditions and are more likely to create a pretty glow, so think cream blush or liquid highlighter rather than powder versions, which can look ashy on screen. “When it comes to eyes, liquid eye colour from Danessa Myricks stands the test of time and does not budge once it’s buffed in,” adds Capon.

She also suggests using three light layers of skincare in summer, rather than one thick cream, so your gleam doesn’t transform into a sweaty sheen.

As for me, it’s been two months since my wedding and I’ve made peace with the photography. The pictures I like are really lovely and have now been framed, while the reception shots are so bad they’re almost funny. After all, how many brides can say they looked like an extra from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest on their big day?

Your legs

Angle your body slightly away from the camera, put one leg behind you and place your weight on your back leg if you want to look slimmer.

Your arms

Lift your arms away from your body and put one hand on your waist to define your shape and hold something in the other (a drink, or bag) to avoid clenching your fist.

Sitting down

If you’re sitting down, sit upright and hold your legs sideways and slightly away from the chair – it might feel uncomfortable but you’ll get a much better shot.

Your smile

To get a flattering jawline, stretch your neck and tilt your forehead forwards and put your chin down a bit. It might feel odd – but it works.

Aim for a spontaneous smile but be aware that full laughter can sometimes look a bit "mad professor" on screen.

...and don't forget...

Ask whoever is holding the iPhone to take 20 shots, not just one – even models need to have lots of photographs to find one good one.