Elizabeth Day exclusive: I'm stronger in my 40s than ever before
Elizabeth Day is not afraid of the menopause – in fact, she's looking forward to it.
Sitting down to talk exclusively with HELLO! the 46-year-old podcaster opened up about the next phase in her life and the moment she realised she was perimenopausal.
"I feel great about the menopause because I had 12 years of fertility treatments, trying and failing to have babies and miscarriages, and so I have a really complicated, upsetting and sometimes mildly traumatic relationship with my cycle," Elizabeth explained, adding that she sees menopause as a "gateway to growth".
It took her a while to realise she was perimenopausal. After experiencing hot flushes and sweating, Elizabeth saw a female gynaecologist who quizzed her on her symptoms.
After speaking to an expert, she realised that her headaches, blurred vision, sleeplessness and anxiety were all part of the menopause.
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Elizabeth has been on HRT ever since, which she describes as "brilliant and empowering".
While it may seem unusual not to notice symptoms earlier or link them with the menopause, the gynaecologist explained that it wasn't unusual for women in her position.
"In her experience, a lot of women who've gone through fertility treatments tend to minimise their symptoms because they're so used to feeling awful on the hormones.
"Effectively, IVF is hard, and so I was used to navigating that those kind of anxieties and mood swings, just not feeling myself," Elizabeth admitted.
She is now on the hormonal coil and uses estrogen gel, both of which have stopped her hot flushes.
READ: I promise you will learn to love your life again after menopause
"I feel so grateful to live in an age where we have so much information and knowledge, and women who are slightly further along the line, who I really admire, like Davina McCall, have done so much in terms of getting that information out there.
"So I feel so much more equipped. I've had a conversation with my mother about what her experience was, and I might not have done that before, so I kind of knew what was happening. If I'd been born even 10 years earlier, I might have felt really discombobulated and destabilised by it, but I felt now I know what to do, and that's given me agency that's amazing."
Following her own experience, Elizabeth is keen to encourage people to check in with themselves, speak to a therapist if possible and face the era head-on.
"Don't be scared, she advises. "If you're going through it and you're in the midst of it, I have solidarity with you. You are not alone, and we will come out the other side of this just stronger and giving fewer damns than ever before.
READ: Menopause has given me freedom: 18 women on finding the positives
"And we are going to enter our crone era. I want to reclaim the idea of the crone, because what is a crone? It's basically a female wizard. I am so ready to be a female wizard and to lean into all of that wisdom that I have about myself, my body and the world around me."
Beyond the menopause, Elizabeth considers herself to be firmly in her second act.
In her second act
"Second act speaks to the empowerment I feel in my 40s. Women are so often sold a myth that age diminishes us, and actually, my experience of aging has been completely the opposite. I feel more myself, more aligned with my true values and my purpose, and stronger, both physically and mentally, than I ever have before.
"Because the only way I could have felt that was to go through the first act and to make those mistakes and make some difficult decisions and now I feel like I'm in a in a good place where I can make the most of the harvest of those decisions or those mistakes that I made in the first act."
Reflecting on her first act, Elizabeth said: "My 20s were a decade of feeling a bit lost, a bit confused, a bit like I wasn't doing life right, and asking questions of life and of myself and sort of trying to sort things out.
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"My 30s were a decade of personal awareness and professional consolidation, but they were very intense decade. I got married and divorced, and I tried and failed to have babies, and I launched a podcast and carried on writing, and I wrote books that was so that was a busy decade, and then my 40s have been a decade of alignment and working really hard, but in a way that stimulates me, that feels so creative and fulfilling, and reclaiming the word busy as something super positive."
Looking forward
Looking ahead to the next decade, the How To Fail podcaster is determined to show herself more kindness and compassion for her flaws, to feel like she is enough.
This kindness is something she's applied to her role as ambassador for Bookbanks, a charity providing free books to food banks.
"Throughout December, 10 per cent of sales on selected indie bookshop titles will go directly to Bookbanks. I would encourage anyone who wants to buy a book for Christmas for themselves or for a present for others to have a look at the list and consider buying a book. There are over 30 books to choose from, and they include Elena Ferranti, Marlon James, Matt Haig," Elizabeth explained, adding that Elena Ferrante is among her favourites.
"Kindness is a verb as well as a noun," she added. "It's about the actions that you embed in your everyday life. So I think for me, those small moments are really important in the run up to Christmas."
Elizabeth Day is an ambassador for Bookbanks. Find out more about the initiative at https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/books-that-give
