Dear Richard Madeley: My eco-warrior daughter is guilt-tripping me into a long train journey
Dear Richard,
We are trying to fly less as it’s so harmful to the environment. My daughter is studying in Scotland, and I live in Devon. The trains are expensive, unreliable and uncomfortable, so I’ve flown up to visit her twice, and each time I’ve promised myself that I’d get the train next time. I am due to go up again in January, but after a visit to Nationalrail.co.uk I can already feel my resolve wavering. I tell myself that it wouldn’t be so bad to fly, but it’s something I pledged I’d at least try not to do. I don’t want to not go as my daughter took a while to settle in at university and I want to support her – plus I miss her, of course. She, meanwhile, is an eco warrior and hasn’t hidden her disdain for me flying – although I think she’s been happy to see me.
I know I ought to take the train: do you have any suggestions for making the trip more bearable? Or an argument I could use to silence my conscience if I end up flying?
— JL, via email
Dear JL,
There’s no easy answer here. I wouldn’t dream of lecturing you on reducing your carbon footprint. It’s a matter between you and your conscience, and I can’t wrestle with it for you.
Some people take flights without a moment’s thought about the impact they have. Others don’t fly at all. Most of us reach an uneasy truce with our conscience – and that’s what you’re attempting to negotiate.
Truces involve a bit of give and take on both sides. So here’s a suggestion. Make a commitment to yourself that from now on you’ll alternate between train and plane. That way you’ll feel virtuous as you clatter uncomfortably down the tracks, and there will be an ethical offset when you’re floating up through the air.
I think it’s a compromise that may go some way to salving your conscience, and also demonstrating to your daughter that you’ve made an effort to meet her standards. Happy landings.
You can find more of Richard Madeley’s advice here or submit your own dilemma below.
