She dumped me on my doorstep at Christmas, with her car engine still running

*Patrick, 51, was looking forward to going away at Christmas with his girlfriend *Alice, 46, when she had a sudden change of heart.

I’d basically given up on romance, quite content with great friends and family, when Alice walked into my life – quite literally.

It was summer, and I was going running most mornings in the woods near my house, and I started to see her there, walking her dog and we’d say hello.

Then I started to go the same route hoping I’d see her. She had a friendly, fresh-faced vibe I liked.

One day, she stopped me, introduced herself and gave me her card – turned out she was a local Nordic walking instructor – something I’d tried and enjoyed on skiing holidays myself.

I was flattered to be approached by this vibrant woman and her texts were flirty from the beginning, so I figured she was interested in something more than friends.

One day, she invited me Nordic walking, then back to hers for food. The sexual chemistry was strong and immediate, and I ended up staying that night and then regularly from that point on.

Planning adventures

I’d started to think my only hope was internet dating, something I’d never wanted to do, so I was delighted when this relationship developed organically, especially with someone on my wavelength.

Like me, Alice wasn’t a nine-to-five person and was into outdoorsy things too, such as wild-camping and hiking, even foraging. I couldn’t believe my luck to be honest.

Things got pretty intense, quite quickly. Whenever we were apart, she’d send me little videos saying how much she missed me and we made plans for adventures together. She had no children either, so we both had the same freedom.

The first warning signs came when we started to go out with each other’s friends. I’m not into PDAs but Alice would almost ignore me in public, which I found odd.

When I asked her about it, she just said she liked her space. I admired her free spirit – the last thing I wanted to do was make her feel claustrophobic – and anyway, when we were alone, she was affectionate, so I didn’t worry about it.

Then, she went away to Paris for a week with friends, and despite talking every day, saying how much she missed me, her comms were decidedly off when she got back.

She’d asked me to pick her up from the Eurostar. I presumed – since she couldn’t wait to see me – that we’d then spend the evening together. But on the way to pick her up, she called to say, she’d decided to get the train home as it was 'easier' and now had a friend’s birthday drinks, so she’d see me the next day.

I was annoyed, but put it down to miscommunication and let it go.

A Christmas getaway

Everything was great through the autumn – it felt like things were developing at a nice pace and I was definitely falling for Alice, she seemed to feel the same way.

In mid-December, she said her auntie had a cottage in the Lakes, why didn’t we disappear there in the time between Christmas and New Year, go hiking in the mountains and have cold water swims.

I was excited. I’d spent so many Christmases single, it was lovely to think that this Christmas, I’d be in a relationship, and what’s more, we’d spend it doing romantic things together.

Then out of nowhere, Alice stopped responding to my texts and calls. It was hurtful and confusing, especially since only days earlier she’d been talking about going away together.

Eventually, on 23rd December, whilst I was out Christmas shopping, wondering if I should get Alice something, she texted saying, 'Sorry, I need to concentrate on myself for a while.'

I was mindful of her need for space, but it did ruin my Christmas. All the time I should have been enjoying being with my family, I was looking at my phone, hoping for some word from Alice: had I upset her in some way to cause this sudden change of heart? How long was 'a while'?

I had no idea if I still had a girlfriend, let alone if I was going on holiday with her.

Shattered dreams

On New Year’s Eve, I caved and called, saying, "Can we at least have a conversation?" and she said she’d come over.

I answered the door, and there she was on my doorstep with her car parked outside, the engine still running. She mumbled something about us wanting different things and that she couldn’t make me happy.

I said, "At least come in and talk about it" but she said she had to go as she was tired. Then, she just drove off.

I’ve never had any closure from Alice or any real explanation. It’s tinged this Christmas with some sadness, but I guess I shall have to accept the fact she was not the person I thought she was.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

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