I drank beer for breakfast and wine while working until I confronted my alcoholism
For Dry January, Ali Dewji, 38 – a former alcoholic – reveals how he beat his addiction. Currently single, he divides his time between homes in London and Bali. Here Ali shares his journey from rock bottom to working as a sobriety coach...
Walking into the pub on August 6th 2021, I ordered a pint with the intention of getting completely drunk. My girlfriend of 12 years had broken up with me, I was trapped in an unfulfilling job and I knew drink would numb the pain.
But as I took the pint away, something happened that changed my life. I had what I can only describe as a ‘vision’. Everything went black. All I could see was a white forked road ahead. On the left, I saw pubs and drink. On the right, was a closed door.
It sounds strange but I knew I couldn’t face the left fork. I had no idea what lay behind the door but it had to be a better path. I took the pint back to the bar without taking a sip and walked out. It was the first step in my road to recovery.
From binge-drinking to breakfast beers
I don’t remember exactly when I first started drinking but it was around the age of 14 when, like many teenagers, I’d hang out with friends in the park knocking back alcopops or cider.
At university in Sheffield in the early 2000s, I’d binge-drink and take drugs like cocaine and ecstasy. It was hedonistic and fun, and I felt my character was enhanced when I was drinking.
When I returned to London to a job in media sales I’d spend many nights going out for ‘after work drinks’ or ‘networking evenings’ where alcohol and cocaine were the norm.
A trip around the world to South East Asia, New Zealand and South America where alcohol was very cheap, meant I could get drunk on a budget. Several times I woke up on the beach, having no recollection of how I got there.
When I returned to the UK and reality a year later, I felt lost. I’d had such an endorphin-fuelled time that this was like post-holiday blues times a thousand.
I set up a publishing company with my sister which specialised in e-books. I loved it at first but didn’t feel fulfilled. And that’s when my problems began. At first, it was simply a beer after work. Then I’d grab a can for the way home.
I even did Zoom calls with a ‘cup of coffee’ in my hand which actually had beer or wine in it.
But before I knew it, ‘hair of the dog’ became a ‘thing’. I’d head to the local pub before going to work. The pub often had around a dozen others – mostly men – in there, all drinking at 9am. I’d reassure myself that I wasn’t alone. And besides, it was only beer. Nothing ‘strong’ like wine or vodka. But deep down, I knew I had a problem.
Work-wise, things were fine because I owned the company. I even did Zoom calls with a ‘cup of coffee’ in my hand which actually had beer or wine in it.
But my health was poor. The weight was piling on and at my heaviest I was nearing 17st (107kg) which was too much for my 5ft 10ins frame.
The push I needed
My relationship was deteriorating. I’d been with my girlfriend since my early twenties – we’d met at a drink-fuelled festival – and for many years, things were great. But drink made me depressed and unmotivated. I’d lie about ‘going to the shops’ when in fact, I was in a pub. She was finding empty cans and bottles hidden around the house.
By August 2021, she did what she had threatened to do for a while and left me. She couldn’t bear to see me so miserable. It was heartbreaking for both of us.
Splitting up was heartbreaking for both of us.
I’ve since thanked her for being so selfless because it was the break-up that made me turn my life around. It was two days later that I experienced the ‘vision’ with the fork in the road. I have never touched a drop of alcohol since.
My version of recovery
In the immediate first few days, I threw myself into fitness and became obsessed with going to the gym. Within a year, I’d lost over four and a half stone (30kg).
But it was being honest and open with friends that really helped me. As I didn’t want to have to explain to everyone individually, I put out a post on my Facebook and Instagram explaining that I was an alcoholic but was committed to doing something about it. I asked people not to offer me drinks.
I put out a post on my Facebook and Instagram explaining that I was an alcoholic but was committed to doing something about it.
The amount of ‘likes’ and comments and private messages I received was overwhelming. I get emotional about it even now. But lots of people admitted to me that they had gone through the same thing.
I wanted to help others like me – particularly men – solve their drinking problem. I feel that men need to see other men admitting to problems but going on to have successful lives. I didn’t want ‘quitting drinking’ to define me and be my only success, which is why other alcohol support groups didn’t really work for me.
Helping others heal
I went all over the world exploring ways to help heal – I tried everything from a 10-day silent retreat in Indonesia to spending time with a shaman in Peru. I totted up that I’ve spent over £100,000 on various therapies because I want to be able to impart as much knowledge as possible to my clients.
Today, I have a 90-day programme that helps men get sober. So much around ‘masculinity’ is how much we can ‘hold our alcohol’ and we need to re-programme that.
I’d tell any man with a drink problem not to focus on the symptoms and look at short-term fixes like Dry January, but to dig a little deeper to discover the root cause.
No one really has a drinking problem, drink is just the solution.
No one really has a drinking problem, drink is just the solution. You need to look at the problem beneath the drinking and examine what you are escaping from – is it your job, your relationship, you’re simply feeling unfulfilled?
Today, I feel like my life has so much more purpose because the secret is to replace drinking with a life you no longer want to escape from.
Follow Ali on Instagram @changewithali. If you think you need help with your alcohol intake, you can get in touch with the free national alcohol helpline Drinkline at 0300 123 1110, or contact Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
Read more about dry January and alcoholism:
Six signs you’re drinking too much alcohol and what happens to your body when you quit (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)
Almost one in three men planning to ditch alcohol for Dry January, study finds (ChronicleLive, 1-min read)
Harm caused by alcohol costs £27.4bn a year in England – figures (PA Media, 3-min read)
