How to cope with the death of a lifelong partner as Dolly Parton's husband of 60 years dies

Marie-Claire Dorking
·Contributor
Updated ·6-min read
Dolly Parton has revealed that her husband of 60 years has died. (PA)
Dolly Parton has revealed that her husband of 60 years has died. (PA)

Dolly Parton has paid tribute to her husband Carl Dean, following his death aged 82, explaining that "words can’t do justice to the love we shared for over 60 years".

In a post on X, Parton said her husband would be laid to rest in a private ceremony with immediate family in attendance.

"Carl and I spent many wonderful years together," the country singer wrote. "Words can’t do justice to the love we shared for over 60 years. Thank-you for your prayers and sympathy."

Parton met her husband outside a laundromat in 1964 when she was 18. They married two years later in 1966 in a small ceremony in Ringgold, Georgia.

"I was surprised and delighted that while he talked to me, he looked at my face (a rare thing for me)," Parton recalled of their meeting in a 2008 interview.

"He seemed to be genuinely interested in finding out who I was and what I was about."

Meanwhile in an interview with People magazine, Parton described Dean as her biggest supporter. "He’s always supporting me as long as I don’t try to drag him in on it,” she said. "He’s always been my biggest fan behind the scenes, but he’s at home."

Man looking at photograph of his wife, grieving.
The loss of a lifelong partner can be difficult to navigate. (Getty Images)

The death of a partner or spouse can be a truly life-changing experience. "When someone has been a central part of your life for many years, their absence can leave you feeling lost, isolated, and uncertain about the future," explains Bianca Neumann, assistant director of bereavement at Sue Ryder. "This type of grief can be particularly profound because it’s not just about missing them in the present it’s also about grieving the future you had planned together."

Navigating grief after your partner's death can be deeply unsettling, as it often means redefining who you are without them. "You may feel as though a part of your identity has been taken away, and adjusting to this new reality can be incredibly difficult," Neumann explains.

While Parton has not revealed how her husband died, Neumann says this can also be a factor in shaping grief. "If their death was sudden and unexpected, the shock can make it even harder to process," she explains. "You may struggle with not having had the chance to say goodbye or tell them how much they meant to you. If they died after a long illness, you may have already experienced anticipatory grief feeling the pain of their absence before they died which can bring complex emotions, including relief as well as sadness."

The grief of a long-term partner also affects routines and the world as we knew it, impacting us physically. "Loneliness and being separated from the person we love triggers a stress response similar to what babies experience, which is normally calmed by being reunited, either through a hug or hearing their voice. This stress response can take time to subside."

No matter your situation, adjusting to life without a long-term partner takes time, but there are some ways to help navigate grief after their death.

Woman grieving.
The grief of losing a long-term partner can trigger many emotions. (Getty Images)

Grief can bring a mix of emotions, including shock, numbness, anger, sadness, and even relief. "There is no right or wrong way to feel, and it’s important to let yourself grieve in a way that feels natural," Neumann explains.

The grieving process is different for everyone. "Feelings may come and go over time, and it’s normal to experience waves of emotion even months or years later," Neumann adds.

Everyday tasks and responsibilities may feel overwhelming, so Neumann suggests focussing on small, manageable steps rather than trying to tackle everything at once.

The death of a partner can mean daily routines, companionship, and shared plans are no longer the same. Neumann recommends finding ways to stay connected with others, such as friends, family, or support groups, to help reduce isolation.

Talking about your grief can be incredibly beneficial. "Bereavement support groups, counselling services, and online communities can provide comfort by connecting you with others who understand," Neumann adds.

Shot of a group of women meeting to discuss grief.
Experts say seeking help and support from others in a similar situation can help navigate grief. (Getty Images)

Grief can take a toll on your mental and physical health. "Try to eat regularly, rest when needed, and engage in small activities that bring comfort," Neumann adds.

Keeping your partner’s memory alive can provide comfort and a sense of connection. "You might create a memory box filled with special items such as letters, photos, or personal belongings that remind you of them," Neumann suggests. Other ways to honour their memory could include lighting a candle on significant dates, revisiting a favourite place you shared, or continuing a tradition that was important to them.

While there are legal, financial, and administrative tasks to manage after a partner’s death, take your time and seek support if needed. Neumann says bereavement benefits and financial assistance may be available.

The idea of starting a new relationship after the death of a partner can bring up many emotions, and there is no right or wrong time to consider this. "Some people may feel ready to connect with someone new after a period of grief, while others may not feel ready for that step," Neumann advises. "Both experiences are valid. It’s important to remember that grief does not have a timeline, and neither does the decision to move forward. If and when you feel ready, allow yourself to move forward at your own pace. The most important thing is to honour your own emotions and do what feels right for you."

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