Decade-Long Couple Splits After Man Tells Girlfriend to Buy Her Own Engagement Ring: 'Heartbreaking' (Exclusive)
"It wasn’t about the cost of the ring — it was about what it symbolized: feeling valued, supported, and cherished," the girlfriend tells PEOPLE
Courtesy of Trinity Tondeleir
Trinity TondeleirA longterm relationship's demise was partly because a man joked that his girlfriend would have to buy her own ring if she ever wanted to get engaged.
In November 2023, Trinity Tondeleir, 24, and Brody Hawkins, 26, went viral on TikTok for not being engaged after 10 years of dating. More than 900 commenters warned Tondeleir that a breakup was more likely to happen than a proposal at that point. A year later, the pair split.
"I am a walking literal breakup meme," Tondeleir said on the Jan. 8 episode of her podcast, The Wellness Cafe.
Now, she's speaking out about why TikTokers were right about the breakup.
She first hinted at the reasons behind dumping her boyfriend in November 2024.
"I'm genuinely so surprised at how many of you are saying that you saw this coming," she said in another TikTok video. "I genuinely believed and thought that he wanted there to be a ring, and I think he did. But when it came down to it there was no ring because I didn't buy myself one. Because in what world would I do that?"
Tondeleir confirms to PEOPLE that her first and only breakup was partially because Hawkins demonstrated that he wasn't ready to take the next step in their relationship by making comments about her needing to buy her own engagement ring. He also stopped supporting her growing professional success.
"The ring situation was part of our breakup, but it represented something much deeper … When he began making 'jokes' about me having to buy my own engagement ring, it was heartbreaking," she tells PEOPLE. "I’ve always envisioned marriage as a partnership where both people celebrate each other’s growth and commit fully to building a life together."
Her issue with the idea of buying her own ring had nothing to do with its price.
"It wasn’t about the cost of the ring — it was about what it symbolized: feeling valued, supported, and cherished," Tondeleir says. "When I realized we weren’t aligned in our views of commitment or partnership, I knew I had to make the difficult decision to walk away. It was painful, but it also reminded me — and I hope other women — that we should never shrink ourselves or settle for less than we deserve."
She continues: "Prioritizing my well-being and knowing my worth has been a powerful lesson. I want every woman to know that choosing yourself is always the right choice no matter how hard it might feel."
Throughout her relationship, she says that people in person and online would often make comments about the fact that she was not yet engaged.
"Strangers, friends, and even family members would ask why he hadn’t proposed yet," she tells PEOPLE. "It began to be awkward and painful because I didn’t have an answer that felt good. I’d laugh it off, but I knew it was a bigger problem that had to be addressed."
Courtesy of Trinity Tondeleir
Trinity TondeleirEven though Hawkins "always said he wanted to propose," he never did. The topic of marriage "became harder to ignore" in the last few years of their relationship.
"As we grew older and built a life together, I started to feel that taking that next step was important to me," Tondeleir says. "I wanted the security and commitment that marriage represents, and when it didn’t happen, it made me question if we were truly on the same page about our future."
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Having the downfall of her relationship play out online has "made healing more challenging" for Tondeleir, who has been prioritizing time off of her phone, spending time in nature and focusing on her wellness to "tune out the noise."
Despite a negative end, Tondeleir is remaining hopeful about the future.
"Despite everything, I still believe in love and truly hope to be a wife and mother one day," she says. "I know now that I need a partner who shares my values and demonstrates through actions that they’re ready to build a life together. Until then, I’m focusing on loving myself, healing, and being open to the future."
Read the original article on People
