Dear Richard Madeley: ‘I hate to see my husband suffer – but he’s getting on my nerves’

Dear Richard

My husband has been diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia, and plausibly self-diagnosed with restless leg syndrome and ADHD. His sleep is extremely disturbed: he often gets up in the night to read or look at his phone in another room. The trouble is that I can feel his restless movements almost anywhere in the house, and I often wake up as well, generally at 4am, with no hope of getting back to sleep. 
I hate to see him suffer, but it’s starting to get on my nerves. He has made some of the recommended lifestyle changes for people who suffer from restless leg syndrome, but has declined to mention it to his GP, who might be able to prescribe medication to help. 
I’d like to persuade him to take his symptoms more seriously, but only if it’s in his interest that I do so – plus, I don’t wish to be seen as the nagging wife. How can I encourage him to get help if he doesn’t want to seek it?
— Anon, Hants

Dear Anon

Separate rooms. That is your answer. You must sleep in separate rooms – at least until your husband agrees to get proper help for his disorder. 
You tell me that he goes into another room in the middle of the night anyway, to trawl through his phone, read or do whatever else it is he does to while away the dead hours, so presumably you have the space to set him up with a truckle bed? So do it. Your sleep is just as important as his, and judging by the tone of your letter, these fractured nights are beginning to impact your own health.
I get up at 4am two weeks out of every four to host breakfast television. I have three alarm clocks to ensure I don’t sleep in. I wouldn’t dream of inflicting such early jangling calls on my poor wife – so when I’m working, I sleep in the spare room.
Your husband owes you similar consideration. He needs to see his GP and get medication for his condition, and it’s certainly not “nagging” to encourage him to do so. Until he does – spare room!