Dear Coleen: Boring boyfriend is so predictable and I need excitement
Dear Coleen,
My boyfriend and I are both 30 and we’ve been together for nearly four years. I never realised it when we first got together but he’s a creature of habit and our relationship is quite boring as a result.
He’s so predictable and loves routine, so our lives are always the same. He eats the same meals, buys the same clothes and wants to visit the same restaurants and go on holiday to the same places.
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He’s so unadventurous. It’s not like I’m super-exciting all the time but I do like to be spontaneous now and again and try new things.
Recently, I’ve had a bit of a wandering eye but I think it’s just because I’m bored.
I love my boyfriend and find him hot, plus he’s actually very funny. I’d just like him to think outside the box occasionally.
I guess when you first get together with someone, you overlook their quirks and flaws, but now his are glaringly obvious. We are a good couple and he’s definitely the guy I want to have kids with but I feel I need to shake him out of his routine. Any ideas or insight would be appreciated.
Coleen says
Hey, don’t knock steady and predictable – these are good qualities, especially if you want to have children in the future.
But I totally understand you wanting to have more fun. I think you could just be in a little rut – he’s perhaps too cosy and comfortable to the point where it’s turning you off and that’s what you need to explain to him.
If you’re serious about starting a family, you really need to cram in the fun now because your priorities change when kids come along.
I think you need to take the lead here when it comes to spontaneity – show him how it’s done and how much you enjoy trying different things.
Book a new restaurant or a weekend away or just head out over the weekend and see where you end up – the pub, the park or a cafe. Do more things together.
Habits are hard to break but it’s possible and I think your boyfriend just needs a little encouraging out of his comfort zone.
And once he is more comfortable with it, then get him to do the planning.
All relationships hit a wall at some point and you need to make a bit more effort to get over it. It’ll be worth it if it adds some romance and excitement back into your lives.
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