"The Damage Was Done": Divorced People Are Sharing The Moment They Knew They Were Done With Their Marriage Forever
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community who have been divorced to share the moment they knew their marriage was over. Here are their stories:
Warning: Post contains mention of contemplated suicide.
1."I will never forget. I should have known it was over, but I didn't. I got into a car accident — flipped the car seven times and slid upside-down in the car on the pavement for 20 feet. Emergency personnel had to use the jaws of life to get me out of the vehicle. The first thing he said to me when he got to the hospital was: 'How is my car?'"
—Cameo V., Facebook
2."After being faithfully married for 10 years, the day after my son was born, I got a call from the county health department saying I needed to go in for STI treatment because my spouse was named by another individual who was positive for an STI. That was enough for me."
—Anonymous
3."We were having marriage counseling, and the counselor asked us to say one thing we still loved about the other person. I said, 'I love that even when I've had a bad day at work, he still tries to cheer me up.' His response? 'I love that she cleans the bathroom because she knows I hate it.' Why I still held on for another six months, I don't know, but it was at that point I knew our marriage was over."
4."We had been fighting more than not for months, maybe years. During one argument, I shouted at him, 'Do you even think of me and the kids when you're not with us?' His answer was a deadpan, 'No, not really.' I had known for a while, but that one comment proved that my children and I deserved much better. It began a very drawn-out and acrimonious end to the marriage."
—Anonymous
5."We'd been married for eight years and had two kids. He decided to go to a 'last minute' (not true) New Year's Eve party. It was too late to get a babysitter, so he went 'just for a little while to be polite' without me. He came home at 3 a.m. drunk and clutching a paper plate with a phone number written on it. He handed the plate to me and informed me that he needed me to put it in a safe place, as he might be too drunk to remember where it was. When I asked why it was important, he told me he had a date with the woman whose number was on the plate and needed to call her to confirm the details. I called a lawyer the next day."
—Anonymous
6."This is actually one of those moments in my life I remember a little too vividly. I was four months pregnant, and cigarette smoke (among a myriad of things) made me extremely nauseous. I was a smoker but stopped when I found out I was pregnant and never started again. My ex smoked A LOT. We lived in a desert state and had an enclosed/screened-in back patio. I knew asking him to quit outright wasn't going to happen, so I explained what his smoking was doing and asked if he would go out to the patio to smoke. I didn't think this was too extreme or too much for his PREGNANT WIFE to ask. He looked at me, pointed his finger in my face, and said: 'This is my F'ing house, and I'll F'ing smoke where the F I want to.'"
"Stunned, I got up from the table and walked to the fridge, not knowing where to go. As I stood there, I can actually remember thinking, 'Nope, not gonna stay.' Right then and there, I started making plans for my departure. That was 27 years ago. My son is healthy, I'm in a 23-year marriage, and he's dead. Life is good."
—Anonymous
7."We had been unhappy for several years, but I knew it was irreparable when I broke my ankle on my job, and his primary concern was making an extra trip downtown to pick up my car. He complained so much about it that I told him to just drop me off at the car, and I would drive home...with my freshly broken ankle. No matter how bad things were between us, I would never have treated him so callously if he was hurt. I realized then that he didn't care about my happiness or well-being. I was just a possession, like the sofa. I left eight months later, in January 2020. I got a couple of cats, bought my own place, and reunited with my high school boyfriend. Life is good."
8."Even before we were married, in our early 20s, things had been rocky between my (ex) wife and me. Essentially, she wasn't into the marriage, and I had forgiven a few transgressions on her part. I thought we had worked things out and were on track. But, at a Christmas party for her work, we were at a table with a few other couples who had been married for some time. We were the young 'newlyweds.' Someone asked if we were planning to start a family, and I said, 'Yeah, hopefully soon.' She said (in front of everyone), 'A family? We don't even know if we're going to stay together!' It grew really quiet, and the other couples could see I was caught off guard. THAT is when I knew. There was no going back, and getting divorced was the BEST thing to happen to me."
—Anonymous
9."I knew my marriage was over the day I decided to cheat. I had never cheated on anyone, and I knew at that moment that I couldn't turn back, and I couldn't face my husband with that guilt. That cheating turned into a two-year affair before we finally divorced, but he never did know."
—Anonymous
10."My ex-husband left me alone in the delivery room because it was 'taking too long' and he was bored. He went to the gym and then watched a basketball game. Came back just before the baby was born."
—Anonymous
11."When he thought the week after my mom died was an appropriate time for a week-long, solo vacation."
12."After almost a year of fertility treatments, no luck, and heartache month after month, in a mild disagreement/argument, my partner said the reason we hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because I 'wasn't trying hard enough.' A week or so later, when things were calm, I asked him what he meant by that or if he just said it in the heat of the moment. He stood by his statement. I knew right then."
13."There were hundreds of reasons I knew my marriage was over, but the final straw was in 2019 when my grandma was given only a few days to live. I said I wanted to see her one last time, and his response was, 'So, you're gonna go see her, come back, then go back for the funeral? No, you can wait until she dies.' Two days later, when she did die, I fell to the floor crying. I told him my grandma just passed, and he said, 'Okay, well, you knew it was gonna happen,' patted my back, and went back to playing video games. I started researching divorce attorneys that day."
—Angela J., Facebook
14."I knew the week before our wedding when I actually thought to myself: 'I have $100 in my account. I must spend it on what I want now because he won't let me after we're married.' I should've run, but I didn't. One day, 20 years and 10 kids later, he came home from work and said, 'I've got a girlfriend, and we're having a baby.' It took six weeks to get everything in order, pack up the kids, and leave. Seven years later, my kids and I are still healing, but we are all healthy and living happy lives."
—Anonymous
15."I found his collection of panties he'd stolen from his conquests, including mine from when we were together the first time. Some were labeled from after we were married."
16."I married young (18F) and knew it was over a year later. We moved all the way across the country for his work, only for me to catch him on my sofa with the girl next door while I was home, upstairs, entertaining HIS PARENTS, who were visiting. Talk about a waste of my time."
—Anonymous
17."After 20 years of marriage, my ex and I were at a concert with a couple we considered best friends. They were both in our wedding, as we met at their wedding. We vacationed with each other's families. Well, my buddy got too intoxicated at the show and started having a hard time. He kept asking if everything was OK. I did my best to reassure him that all was well with the world. Eventually, he said, 'So I screwed Sarah, and everything is good?' Turns out my wife and my best friend (her best friend's husband) had a two-year affair smack-dab in the middle of our 20-year marriages."
—Anonymous
18."I was recovering from surgery and got an infection. I had to wait until the next day to follow up with my doctor for treatment. I was in so much pain that I could barely move. I spent most of the afternoon on the couch, trying not to move so it wouldn't hurt as much. Around dinnertime, my daughter, who was 6 at the time, was hungry and wanted something to eat. I asked my husband if he could make it since I was in so much pain. He said he was too busy. I asked what he was doing, and he replied that he was trolling people on Facebook. I got up, made my daughter dinner, and immediately decided I was done. I did not want to be married to him anymore."
—Anonymous
19."I knew my marriage was over after my ex-wife started saying stuff to me that no wife should. She went as far as telling me I was useless and worthless, that everyone hated me, and that I should just kill myself. She would consistently bring up things from my past that happened long before she had entered my life. She talked badly about me, my siblings, and my parents. She consistently lied to me and was always argumentative. For me, it had gotten so bad that I almost ended up following through on committing suicide. I was constantly defending her to my family members and friends, but there was so much hatred between us that I didn't want to come home at night. She had kicked me out of the bedroom because she said I snored. She constantly complained that I didn't have what she considered 'high-end' dollars, and she often talked about wanting to be rich so that she could simply stay home and be on Facebook."
"Looking back, after my divorce and doing some research, I realized that she is a narcissist. We tried marriage counseling at least twice. While we were married for almost six years, we never consummated our relationship. After the first year, 'the honeymoon phase,' I had a gut feeling that the marriage was in trouble. I worked very hard to try and save my marriage, but no matter how hard I tried or what I did, it was never good enough for her. She consistently needed praise and adoration, as well as attention."
—Anonymous
20."When he tried to move his girlfriend into our home. He couldn't understand why I objected! Our kids were 4 and 7."
—Anonymous
21."I was cooking bacon for his breakfast, and the grease popped into my eye. He just sat there reading his phone while I cried."
—Anonymous
22."He called me 'weak' when I asked for help. It was April 2020, and I worked full-time remotely, caring for our 2-year-old and the dogs and maintaining our household. My husband found a way to never be around (during a pandemic). I asked for help with our son, and he told me I was weak. I started planning my exit the next day. Two years after I filed, he is refusing to end the marriage, all while living with another woman. Now, I'm a scapegoat for why he can't commit."
23."We had separated for the second time in a few months, and I had set some terms for our reconciliation, including him getting a job before I'd consider getting back together. I told him to think about it and that I didn't want to talk until he decided whether he could agree to those terms. He immediately responded that he had one question for me: Would I pay him an allowance while he looked for a job? He felt bad asking his parents and grandma for money. It was that exact moment I saw the rest of my life supporting this grown child like I birthed him myself, and I was done. He responded and said it sounded like my mind was 'already made up anyway.'"
24."I didn't know it was over until I came home from work to find he had packed up all his belongings and left for his parents' house. He didn't even leave a note or tell me he had filed for divorce until the next morning when he sent me a text. I obviously knew we had problems and was looking for a counselor for us, but I hadn't been able to schedule anything yet. It was a slap in the face, considering I had been completely supporting him for the last six months since he out-processed from the military and hadn't found a job. He also did all of this five days before Christmas."
—Anonymous
25."There had been affairs in the past, but we were married and had a 6-month-old at this point. He was never home, usually off playing softball or hanging out with friends, and when he was home, he didn't help me with our son. If I brought issues up or mentioned I needed him home to help me because I was really struggling, he'd threaten to break up or make me feel bad for making him feel bad. The breaking point was when we visited a different state to see about relocating for my work. It was our first time being without our son, and I thought we would be able to reconnect a little. There was no intimacy left; it felt like we were just existing near each other. I realized that the thought of moving away from my friends and family with only him gave me anxiety, and I started to picture life without him."
—Anonymous
26."When he was messaging other women while I was going through a miscarriage."
27."I knew when my husband went away for a conference/training, and I found out the night before that the other woman (his secretary) was also going. I decided I'd call to check in the second night, and I couldn't get him to answer his cell or room phone. He responded that his phone died and was charging in the bathroom while on vibrate, and the room phone wasn't working because he never heard it ring. I'm not that foolish. He came home, and we separated days later."
—Anonymous
28."It was 2018, and we had been married for two years. She was a great singer and wanted to work with a cover band that she had auditioned for, and I, being supportive, pushed her to pursue the goal. She got the gig as the lead singer for a band that traveled around the country, mainly on weekends, performing a setlist of cover songs. She'd be away almost weekly, but I wanted to support her ambitions, so I was fully on board. At first, I would drop her off at a studio the band used or at the airport on Fridays, depending on where the gigs were, and she would typically return on Sundays. Very quickly, the weekends started extending into Thursdays, and sometimes Wednesdays, for the drop-off and then Mondays and Tuesdays for the pickup. Something began to feel off. The weekend gigs weren't changing, so why was she asking to be dropped off days earlier?"
"She'd claim they were rehearsing, and it was easier to stay closer to the venues because it was about a two-hour drive. I don't believe in snooping through a partner's phone. I've always felt that if you need to do that, then you shouldn't be involved with that person, but something was off, and I could feel it like an itch that could not be satisfied. Eventually, the night came when her phone became like the 'Telltale Heart.' I was in bed, and I swore I could hear it vibrating. I couldn't take it anymore; I quietly took it and went to the living room. I opened the phone and saw a very strange wallpaper photo. It looked like two people kissing, but I wasn't sure. I opened the photo library and found the picture. She, not being tech savvy, did not realize that you could revert a photo to its original format, so I hit edit, revert, and there it was. The picture was zoomed in and cropped. It was her and the band leader kissing. I was devastated. I could feel my heartbeat in my stomach. I started to breathe like I had just sprinted 100 yards.
I was sitting on the couch in our living room, and all the pictures of us around me instantly made me feel like I was sitting in a funeral parlor. I paced around a bit and tried to figure out what to do. This had been going on for two months at this point. I went to the bedroom, opened the original photo, placed the phone down, and turned the lights on. She slowly woke up, and the first thing she went for was her phone. She saw the photo and had nothing to say. We tried to work on things for about a year, but the damage had already been done. I knew deep down when I opened that photo that things would never be the same and would essentially be the downfall of our marriage and relationship. Cheating is extremely difficult to recover from."
—Anonymous
29."I knew it was over when I suggested couples' therapy, and he told me he didn't want to go because 'the therapist is going to think I'm cheating,' which...he was. I just hadn't acknowledged it. I kept what I was going through a secret, but he had been so emotionally abusive that I just thought I had to deal with it. We had been together for 13 years, and it wasn't until we separated that I was truly able to accept that he was cheating. I have PTSD from it, but I will never let anyone else treat me the way he did."
—Anonymous
30."I called him around 6 p.m., and he answered the phone by saying, 'What do you want?' I still don't know why he was so angry. He then said he'd be home by 8, but at 10, when he still wasn't home, I walked up the street so that my kid could not see how upset I was. I heard a car coming, and it was him. He slowed down, looked at me, and then sped off. I knew then that my marriage of 31 years was over. That was almost 10 years ago, and at this point in my life, I am so happy and thankful that God gave me the courage, strength, and wherewithal to leave a marriage full of toxicity."
—Anonymous
31."We'd had off-and-on issues throughout our marriage, but there was a moment of truth for me. Due to COVID, we were both unemployed and had to move in with his parents. After a couple of months of unemployment, I started working retail to save up some money so we could get our own place. I was running long hours and working overtime, and he was in his room, being very picky about applying for jobs while his parents watched our then-5-year-old. He spent a lot of the time complaining about living with his parents. I finally asked him a few months later, with no long-term bites on the academic jobs he wanted, if he'd be willing to work retail just for a year or so so we could get on our feet and get our own place again. He looked at me in disgust and said, 'Me? With my PhD, working retail? That's ridiculous.' At that moment, I realized he had no respect for retail workers or me. It was good enough for me, but he was too good to humble himself."
—Anonymous
32."There were a lot of moments that boiled down to me not feeling like I was supported as a new parent, but there were two standouts. My ex had gone back to work and largely resumed the social activities he'd been involved in before our child was born. One morning, he told me he wanted to add another weekly event, meaning I'd be alone with the baby for 12+ hours. I knew I wasn't in a place where I could do that. I asked for more time before he went back, but he told me this was what he needed. Luckily, some friends and family stepped in to help me, but I really resented him for not being there for me and our child."
"The other was about a year later when I had a minor but painful accident and asked to get some help from our families for a few days (I was physically struggling to pick up my child). He initially said it would be too much of an inconvenience. He came around after a few hours when his family expressed concern, and he apologized, but the damage was done."
33."He took the car keys (we lived in NYC and only had one car) and told me I wasn't allowed to use the car until I 'stopped acting stupid.' I've been single now longer than I was ever married."
—Anonymous
34."We were in northern California visiting some of my ex's family. Some of his family lived wayyy off the grid in the woods — out in the middle of nowhere in tiny houses — and my ex said, 'I totally could live out here.' Immediately, I thought to myself, 'Holy crap, I could never. We want totally different things.' This was not the only reason we split, but it was the final 'aha' moment. Funnily enough, almost 20 years later, I would love to live in the woods with my current long-term boyfriend, so I think it wasn't the woods that was the issue, but the person I'd be in the woods with."
—Anonymous
35."The last Christmas my first wife and I were together, I decided to purchase her a gold necklace with the birthstones of her children (from her first marriage). The necklace cost $1,200, but I was in a good spot to be able to afford it. When I gave it to her on Christmas Day, she insisted I return it. Bewildered and a bit hurt, I did just that. I got her flowers and a sweet card when Valentine's Day rolled around. She started crying and informed me she wanted a divorce. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised."
—Anonymous
36."We actually had a relatively good marriage, but around 20 years in, we started to grow apart as I became more successful, and he couldn't handle it. Over the years, I had overlooked these little moments where he said or did things to make me feel small or less than (or honestly, to make himself feel better — he probably wasn't thinking about me at all). But it actually came down to one specific incident. We had a three-zone HVAC system, and I was in one zone of the house, and he was in another. I wanted my thermostat set to 68 degrees, but he said the house should be set to 76 because it was summer. I paid most of the bills, and it was just one zone. I set mine at 68 and left the others at 76, but he came in and changed it. I changed it back. We went back and forth for two hours until the compressor broke. I asked for a divorce the next day."
—Anonymous
37."We were in couples' counseling. He picked the day and time for the appointments so that way he couldn't say I was 'pressuring him to go.' In the second to last session, the therapist asked us to think of three things the other person does that really bother us. The next week rolled around, and I went first. I discussed the one I felt was most important. When it was his turn, he said, 'I was busy. I didn't have time to think about it.' Then he proceeded to complain that I didn't unload the dishwasher. I knew we were done after that."
—Anonymous
38."I met my ex-husband as an undergrad, and we married after graduation. Very early on in our marriage, we decided to terminate a pregnancy. He took off when he got me home, leaving me alone all weekend. I was an emotional mess and just wanted to stay in and cuddle. I felt pretty abandoned, but I tried to be understanding and give him space. Everyone grieves differently. In my solitude, though, I realized our marriage wasn't much of a partnership at all. We weren't communicating or coordinating as a unit, and he would just check out like this when life got hard. My (hypothetical) kids and I deserved better. We tried couples' therapy soon after but eventually split."
—Anonymous
39."When I realized that I didn't want my kids to look like him, act like him, or be raised by him."
40."My ex-wife and I were finally over after some hints of cheating on her part and 12 years of marriage. However, I just so happened to overhear a conversation with a booty call one night. The affair had been going on for a few months. She played the victim and told everyone it was my fault and that I was the bad guy. We were having problems, but I was blindsided because she wasn't the type to do such a thing. Well, I was wrong. Only common sense, patience, and our two kids saved me from going down the wrong path. I don't hate her anymore or even hold a grudge toward her. It's only made me stronger and taught me patience. It's not just men who destroy marriages and families."
41."In the middle of a hurricane, there was a boil water advisory. While the wind blew all of my doors open and broke the hinges, I accidentally knocked a stack of good-quality pots and pans onto my foot, breaking most of my toes. I blacked out from the pain and came to pretty quickly, and my little daughter was on her knees pushing my hair out of my face and trying to dry tears I didn't even know were there. When I asked where her daddy was, she said he went outside. He went to organize the back of his work truck in the middle of a hurricane to avoid being there for me while I was in pain. That's when I knew, but it took two more years before I gave up."
42."When we started living like roommates seven years in. We were together for 20 years and married for 11, which didn’t bother him! His kisses were nice but became more of a passing graze I could live without. The romance was non-existent, and any sexual effort/encounter could be wrapped up in less than five minutes. No amount of therapy helped. Talking was too much of a bother for him, and the three kids from our 20 years together were the deal breaker! I figured I put in my time, and you can’t fix what someone else doesn’t see as broken. Long story short: It’s 20 years I can never get back."
—Anonymous
43."At the time, I chose to continue loving her because she was going through rough spots with others, but I should've known. After almost 20 years of marriage and three kids, the moment our marriage was over was when she confessed that she never loved me and the only reason we were married was because she wanted to leave her home and small town."
—Anonymous
44."I said to my ex: 'I want you to put me first the way I put you first.' My ex responded: 'I can't imagine anything worse.' There was no coming back from that."
45."I knew my marriage was over the day I got married. Well, not really. But, he told me on the way to our honeymoon that as I was walking down the aisle, all he could hear in his head was the 'Imperial March' from Star Wars. I knew it was REALLY over when I asked him to go to marriage counseling for over two years, and he repeatedly said no. He told me, 'Maybe if you go to therapy and work on yourself, our marriage will improve.' He denied ever saying that (major gaslighter). I ignored his comment and went to therapy because I figured it could only benefit me. I felt great about the changes I made and the work I put into myself for over six months, and he said he didn't notice any difference in me."
"When I finally got him to go to marriage counseling, he put in zero effort and sounded like a robot. He lasted three sessions and then said it was time to end it. He never put any effort into our marriage. I read books, journaled, confided in older married couples, and went to therapy. All he did was play video games and hide in his man room. I honestly felt so relieved when he said it was over. I wanted to get divorced for three years, but I refused to give up without fighting for us. We have been divorced for over a year, and I have never been happier. Best decision I've ever made!"
—Anonymous
46."We'd been married for about 15 years and were behind in rent. He never worked steadily, and my check only went so far. The apartment manager had been flirting with him for the entire time we lived there. In front of me, she asked him if he wanted to stay married. He didn't answer. We stayed together for a few more years, but the knowledge never left me. Don't get me wrong, I knew he never loved me, but I didn't think he'd dump his only source of income. I was wrong. I know he regretted it when he had to move back in with his mom."
—Anonymous
47."When I took a class in school that challenged me to examine my beliefs, I realized the only reason I was still with my spouse was because religion said it was the right thing to do and divorce was sinful. I realized I wasn't having a spiritual experience but actually abiding by archaic patriarchal rules designed to limit women. There was a whole laundry list of reasons, like him not paying any bills, refusing to get a steady job, bailing on me during graduate school, opening credit cards behind my back, losing our kid, etc. I thank my professors to this day for opening my eyes to a better life for me and my child."
—Anonymous
48."When I caught him kissing a friend of ours in our kitchen when they thought I was asleep. Karma plot twist: Her husband was also cheating on her with someone else."
—Anonymous
49."It was over for me after finding out for a second time that she was continuing her affair. I had initially found out around Thanksgiving that she had been having an affair with a coworker. We had decided to go to counseling together, although, looking back, she never put in any effort at all. She had moved back in after staying with her parents for a month or two. She hated that I wanted to look through her phone or that I always asked who she was going out with if she was leaving. Long story short, she wanted to go out to a coworker's birthday party, and I agreed because I didn't want to seem unreasonable since we were 'working' on things. She came home around 1 a.m. and fell asleep, and I decided to look through her phone."
"There was a message thread from the person that she was having an affair with telling her to make sure she didn't get tagged in any photos so that I wouldn't know they were both there together. I immediately woke her up, told her to get out, then put her stuff on the front lawn for her family to pick up."
—Anonymous
50."My husband went on a trip to see his 'mother' and never came back. That's when I knew our 25-year marriage was over. LOL."
—Anonymous
51."I was sick with a raging kidney infection, and the urgent care doctor couldn't determine whether I was just super dehydrated or septic based on my racing heart rate and super low blood pressure. My now ex-husband screamed at me in the middle of the street when I asked him to take me home while waiting on prescriptions when I could no longer stand upright because he was late for a party. I spent the weekend alone, crawling to the kitchen to try and rehydrate with boullion and keeping my door unlocked so my neighbor could help me. He spent the weekend in Napa partying and didn't once check on me. It took a while to get back to the person that I was before I ever met that schmuck, but now I'm divorced and happier than I've ever been."
—Cari S., Facebook
52."I have a really great job, and my husband had a job in a field he loved, so even though I earned twice as much, we were both happy. We decided to have a kid. He was the one who first brought it up, and I said I wouldn't be a stay-at-home mom. We decided on a nanny after my year of maternity leave. Nine months after our son was born, my husband lost his job because he was negligent and cost his company money. It was a bad time. We were both home with our son for three months, but he did nothing. I warned him that when I went back to work, we wouldn't get a nanny until he also went back. After my second day back at work, I came home early, and my son was sitting in a dirty diaper, crying, and still in pajamas. My husband was playing on his computer."
"I asked him to leave because he wasn't staying with us while neglecting our son. I hired a nanny. Five years later, he still chooses not to care for our son, even though he likes to brag about him to anyone who listens. I'm in a happy relationship now, and my son is happy."
53."When my husband suddenly started paying way too much attention to me. He sometimes left work early to see if I was home and what I was doing. It didn't sync for me until he literally started accusing me of cheating or possibly cheating. Something kept telling me to check his phone because I was so confused by his demeanor. It turned out he was cheating on me!!! I left him quickly. I was so broken."
—Anonymous
54."After an evening of my husband and I screaming at each other, I went to tuck our 8-year-old into bed. When I did, he asked me when we could be happy. I asked what he meant. He responded, 'When can we leave Dad and be happy?' I knew then that staying together for the kids wasn't working. I quickly made my life ready to be a single parent. I have never regretted leaving. We are better apart than together."
—Anonymous
55.And: "We'd been having issues just before we got married and were fighting more. I thought it was just the stress of the wedding, but it continued. Then, I thought it was the stress of living with my parents because he wasn't legally allowed to work yet. So, we moved out a year and a half after getting married. The fighting got louder. I tried to admit I was done, but he wanted us to keep trying with counseling. But, closing in on our fourth anniversary and during a conversation about what we each did in the marriage — chores and such — I really knew I was done. I packed and left. I wasn't happy and hadn't been in years."
—Vanessa J., Facebook
Thank you for sharing your stories, and I hope you've found nothing but happiness and healing. I know your stories will help others who are in similar situations, so I commend you for your honesty and vulnerability. If you had a wake-up call that compelled you to leave your marriage, you can share your story in the comments or anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Dial 988 in the United States to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The 988 Lifeline is available 24/7/365. Your conversations are free and confidential. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
