Delivering a baby can be stressful enough without the thought of your in-laws cheering you on from the business end.
But giving birth can also be a magical moment to share with your nearest and dearest, so who to take with you into the birthing suite can turn into a bit of a battle.
That’s why one woman has gone online to get some advice about her husband’s insistence that his parents be there to watch their grandchildren being born.
“I’m pregnant and my husband is forcing me to let his parents in the delivery room,” she wrote on Quora.
But that’s something the mum-to-be really doesn’t want, particularly as she is expecting twins, which could add to the stress.
Thankfully, users were on hand to offer her plenty of advice on how to handle the sticky situation.
Most were of the opinion that it should be the mother’s decision who to invite into the delivery room.
“To be quite frank, this birthing is all about you and your husband,” one user wrote.
“If you don’t want his parents in the delivery room, don’t be afraid to let it be known. Delivering a healthy baby is the #1 priority. It’s your body and you want this moment to be memorable for the right reasons.”
“Why is he forcing you? Is it a cultural thing?” asked another. “First of all he cannot FORCE you to have the parents in the room. You can tell the doctors and nurses that no one else is allowed in the room except your husband.”
“I don’t understand how childbirth has become such a spectator sport,” another user wrote. “I understand the father being in the delivery room, but really, no one else. That is, unless mum thinks the idea of having the entire extended clan staring at her nether regions is just a wonderful idea. I’m not a woman, but I doubt very many women feel that way.”
“It’s his baby too and in every part of your child’s life he should have equal rights in all decisions as you do. All except for the delivery,” he added.
Many took the opportunity to offer some practical advice, like asking a doctor to explain no one else can be present at the birth.
“This is YOUR body, your delivery! Have a word with your doctor and let him know that you seriously do not want anyone present in the delivery room that are not medical personnel,” one user wrote.
“Tell him the pressure you are under from your husband and you simply cannot take it. Tell the doctor you don’t care what excuse is made but it has to be done.”
Others offered a more light-hearted solution to the problem.
“Tell your husband that before you’ll allow his parents in the room to labour and delivery, he must stand naked and also produce a bowel movement in front of your parents.
“He must remain naked, spread eagle for at least 12 hours. If he accepts this challenge, allow his parents”.
But not everyone agreed that the woman’s husband request should be ignored.
“Misguided as your husband’s request may be (probably is), the fact that he keeps bringing it up indicates that this decision is important to him,” one user wrote.
“These other posters are calling your husband a “bully”, while simultaneously advocating that you solve this disagreement by strong-arming (bullying) your husband into dropping the issue,” he continued.
“In my experience, marriage is nothing if not *constant* compromise. Furthermore, why is anyone assuming your husband should have no say in decisions regarding childbirth? Unfortunately, fathers’ rights are constantly discounted in our society.”
What do you think? Would you want your in-laws in the delivery room when you give birth?
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