A culture shock I experienced in the Netherlands taught me a valuable lesson I'm passing on to my child
I moved to the Netherlands from Colombia years ago.
For my first birthday there, I received all secondhand items, which made me feel unappreciated.
Over time, I saw this custom as thoughtful and meaningful, so I'm teaching my kid to embrace it.
I moved from Colombia to the Netherlands years ago and saw a lot more tulips and bicycles than ever before.
Fortunately, I also found community. When my friends came together to celebrate my first birthday in the Netherlands, they brought me beautifully wrapped presents.
However, I was caught off guard as I opened them: Almost every item — books, clothes, shoes, home decor — was used.
As my friends shared where they found the item and why they thought I'd like it, I struggled to wrap my head around the secondhand gifts.
I knew secondhand shopping was popular here, but I didn't realize it extended to gifts
I'd known many of my new neighbors prioritized buying things secondhand — and were especially proud of doing so when they got a good deal. And I get it: shopping secondhand can be less wasteful and a good way to save money.
However, I was surprised the secondhand-shopping culture also extended to gift-giving. I felt like my friends weren't truly appreciating me: Didn't they care enough to get me something new?
In the community I grew up in, it was not common to give secondhand gifts — especially for a birthday or the holidays. I'd feel embarrassed giving someone a secondhand item as a gift and doing so might even be seen as impolite
In the following weeks, though, I learned just how normal and common secondhand gift-giving is in my new community. I also began to see how nice it can really be.
After all, the effort and thoughtfulness behind a gift means more than a shiny new box and a price tag. The gifts I received were focused on my needs and desires.
It was nice that my friends thought so hard about what I might enjoy and that they spent so much time scouring marketplaces, apps, and thrift shops in search of the perfect gift for me.
It's pretty easy to order something new online, but shopping secondhand can take a lot of time and dedication.
I hope to pass this custom and its values to my daughter
I've since embraced giving and receiving secondhand gifts, and I'm teaching my daughter to do the same.
When she was born, most of the clothes and items she received from friends and family were secondhand, which further opened my eyes to how nice it is to have practical and intentional gifts regardless of where they came from.
When we shop for presents, I encourage both of us to think about what the recipient might actually need or enjoy instead of just picking something because it's trendy or new.
We've had so much fun searching for items in secondhand shops and online marketplaces and discovering unique gifts that we might never have found new.
This custom has also been a great way to remind myself of the importance of intention and thoughtfulness when it comes to parenting, too.
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