Married couple who wed as man and wife renewing vows as two women following groom's transition
A married couple who wed as man and wife are planning to renew their vows as two women after the then groom completed her transition last year.
Jae Harvey, 32, met her partner Rayna, 35, from Somerset, on Myspace in 2009 and got married – as man and woman – in Jae's hometown of Dallas, Texas, US, in March 2018.
However, Rayna was struggling with her gender identity and confided in Jae on their honeymoon, who vowed to support her.
During the week-long break, Rayna went out in public as a woman for the first time and when the waiter greeted her as a woman, she says she "instantly knew who she was".
After coming out in a Facebook post, Rayna began her gender transition journey in August 2018 and has since had several operations totalling £70,000.
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Following the completion of her transition in 2022, the couple are now hoping to tie the knot as wife and wife.
"I can't wait to walk down the aisle in a dress," Rayna, a graphic designer explains. "I didn't think about it on that day, but I've struggled with my identity since I was 11 years old."
Before the couple can plan their nuptials, Rayna has to get a gender recognition certificate – a government authorisation of her gender.
"To marry as a woman, I have to be psychoanalysed by two independent psychiatrists to prove I've been living as myself for two years," she explains.
"But after what I've been through, I feel very excluded and like I don't matter."
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Having met on social media and beginning a long-distance relationship the couple decided they couldn't make their relationship work and split at the end of 2011.
But after discovering Rayna had split from her partner of five years, Jae reached out to her on Facebook in the summer of 2017.
"I came over to visit Rayna in October 2017 and it was like seven years hadn't passed," she says. "Rayna proposed to me in Bristol airport's Costa as I was about to board my flight.
"She made a cheeky comment about me staying and I said you'd have to propose to me - so she did. I went home on cloud nine."
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The pair got married in March 2018 in an intimate ceremony in Jae's mum's garden, before the newlyweds returned to the UK so Jae could start her visa application process.
A couple of months after the wedding Rayna confided in Jae that she was having some thoughts and feelings she didn't understand.
They discussed it during their honeymoon at Centre Parcs, Longleat in Wiltshire, in June 2018.
"I told her I was glad she'd told me and not to feel like she had to live in the dark and inauthentically," Jae, a photographer, explains.
"We tried androgyny and cross-dressing. I thought her best opportunity to go out presenting as female would be our honeymoon because we wouldn't know anyone.
"I bought make-up and hair stuff and let her borrow one of my bags and we went to dinner. The server said 'good evening, ladies' and I could see it all over her face."
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The newlyweds then returned to their cabin to have an open discussion.
"I asked whatever I needed to ask and what it meant for us and what the transition would look like," Jae explains. "It's the person I fell in love with – not the body."
Rayna started hormone replacement therapy in August 2018 while Jae returned to the US to apply for her visa.
In December 2018, Rayna came out publicly on Facebook and received overwhelming support.
"Even Rayna's 95-year-old grandma is on board and sends her granddaughter cards," Jae continues.
Rayna says coming out has helped her feel more like herself. "Life is a lot easier," she says. "I've struggled since I was young, but I didn't know what being trans was."
Rayna started the lengthy transitioning period with hormone therapy in 2018, followed by an orchiectomy – a procedure to remove the testicles in May 2019.
She also had a breast augmentation, facial surgery and finally, full penis removal in February 2022.
Despite having changed her name, drivers licence and passport, to marry as a female Rayna requires a gender recognition certification.
While she feels frustrated about having to "prove her womanhood", the couple refuse to marry until Rayna can tie the knot as her true self.
"It doesn't matter how long you've been transitioning or what you've done," Jae explains. "The government have made it so difficult – there are so many hoops to jump through."
Rayna adds: "I understand there needs to be a process to verify who I am, but a lot of people struggle to get gender recognition certificates.
"It's a soul-destroying process after having been through so much. Jae and I can't move forward whilst it's a thing. We just want to be visible."
Additional reporting SWNS.
