How to cope with family conflict this Christmas from setting boundaries to seeking support
Christmas is meant to be the most wonderful time of the year when families meet up, open presents, eat an array of delicious festive food, and enjoy quality time together. Although there is an expectation that things will be perfect and idyllic, it doesn't always unfold that way in real life.
Putting relatives in the same room, particularly when they don't always see each other often, can bring its own set of challenges as family members don't always get along. Reasons that arguments can happen include tiredness making people short-tempered, changes in family dynamics, alcohol, and historical disagreements that can resurface.
If you're feeling worried about possible conflict between your nearest and dearest this festive season, we've rounded up tips from Hope Therapy and Counselling Services to help you deal with it...
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Talk in advance and set clear boundaries
Make sure that before you see your family, you know what everyone is expecting from the Christmas period. It's important to know how much time everyone will be spending together and what people's responsibilities are.
This is a good time to listen to people's concerns if anyone has any specific worries about what is going to happen. Also, if you can, try and meet up with family members in advance if there are any disagreements to solve. Listen fully and allow the others involved to have their say to avoid them getting angry.
Resolving arguments before the day itself is a way to make Christmas more enjoyable and reduce tension. If you are struggling to find a solution to the conflict, it might be useful to seek family therapy. It can help to have someone neutral there to listen to all of your worries and help steer the conversation so that everyone has a chance to speak.
Seek support
Don't take on the burden by yourself, make sure that you have proper support during the time that you are with your family. It could be useful to have a partner or sibling to turn to or even a friend to message or call. Tell them how you are feeling before the day so they know the best way to help you. Online groups or networks are another useful tool to use if you need advice or help.
Look after yourself and make time for you
Remember that it's important to ensure that you are okay as well as your family members. If you need time out for a nap or a walk or to read your book, take it.
Check in with friends who aren't there if you need to, it's sometimes useful to have a listening ear who isn't a family member. Don't sacrifice your healthy habits that help you keep calm, even if it is Christmas Day.
Cool off
Arguments aren't worth it, it's very easy to say things that you regret in the heat of the moment and risk creating a frosty Christmas atmosphere.
If you can feel yourself starting to get angry, take yourself away from the situation before things boil over. Go and have a seat in a quiet room or even get some fresh air.
Have a family walk
You might be sceptical when you hear about people going out for walks on Christmas Day but they're a good way of stopping conflict.
You get to experience a joyous atmosphere outside and see others enjoying the festive season and prevent disagreements from starting. Win win!
If you're struggling with your mental health at any time, visit www.mind.org.uk in the UK.
