The cine files! Your weekly blockbuster breakdown

 (Chris Harris)
(Chris Harris)


Rye Lane

Goodbye, Hugh Grant, see ya, Emma Thompson! Hello Vivian Oparah and David Jonsson! Who they? you ask. Doesn’t matter, at least they’re not ageing white actors swanning around Notting Hill or Surrey. Yes, Peckham is the refreshing new romcom block. South London is a smidge grittier but this should pep up your serotonin of a Sunday afternoon. Can’t get enough of Rye Lane? Scroll down for more… Out 17 March

Shazam! Fury of the Gods

Remember when superheroes were silly and fun, not brooding repositories of darkness? Well the dork who turns into a (albeit amateurish) caped crusader whenever he bellows ‘Shazam!’ is back for more lolz. Oh, you want a juicy villain too? Enter none other than the deity that is Dame Helen Mirren…. Out 17 March


Love letter to cinema alert! Minor gem alert! Two ragtag children in the Iranian arse-end of nowhere find an Academy Awards statuette. This Oscar’s journey back to its rightful owner – played out by non-actors and award-winning Iranian cinematic luminaries – is a ramshackle charm. Out 17 March


If Dame Judi Dench, Sir Derek Jacobi, dame-ish Jennifer Saunders and all our most-loved luvvies on the Shirley Bassey ward can’t save their fictional geriatric hospital from closure, what hope is there for the NHS? This is based on an Alan Bennett play, so a trolley-load of wry gags should keep pulses raised and save the day. Out 17 March

Other People’s Children

Parisian woman with worries over her ticking biological clock decides the best route to happiness with her new boyfriend is to make his five-year-old daughter fall in love with her. Surely this can only end bittersweetly – in that oh-so-Gallic kind of way of course… Out 17 March

 (Christopher Moss)
(Christopher Moss)


I’ve heard that the old pitchfork from X is getting another bloody outing…

No self-respecting psycho would choose anything less to plunge into someone’s eyeballs. Yes, the ’fork is gloriously back in Pearl, Ti West’s prequel to X.

And Mia Goth is back too, this time playing face-slashing old biddy Pearl as a young woman in 1918. How’s that work, I mean she played a different character in the first film?

Details, details, my friend. I guess West wanted this to be a ‘Mia Goth Movie’. And, slice me in half with a rusty chainsaw, boy does she pull it off. This is her superstar moment.

Strong stuff. Is she that good?

It’s not just me saying this. Goth totally bosses the screen from start to finish, and people will be talking about her freako face in the closing shot of Pearl for decades to come.

I only quite liked X because it didn’t make me jump and the slaughter was all a bit predictable.

I hear you, and this probably won’t make you poo yourself either. Nor are the victims dispatched very inventively. You would probably rather a killer swarm of lawnmower-wielding flying wildebeest.

So this is more about the actual story and quality film-making and whatnot?

You got it. And Mia Goth — did I mention her? — who you’regonna see plenty more of plenty soon…

Pearl is in cinemas from 17 Mar



In the mood for love? Then you’re probably off to the cinema to catch new romcom Rye Lane. And you don’t have to end the romancing when the credits roll (no, we don’t mean a cheeky snog by the bus stop) because there’s also an official Rye Lane movie trail map to guide you to all the locations in the film.

After you’ve seen the movie at Peckhamplex (obvs), go bag some hot wax at Peckham Soul record shop, then settle in for homestyle Sardinian cooking at Il Giardino or grab a bite on the move at Persian café and deli Persepolis. Need some new disco hotpants? Head to Rye Lane Market before hitting late-night bar Tola to throw some shapes (and hopefully not a lover’s hissy fit).

Wanna do it all again the next day? The guide also features the film’s Brixton locations.

Download the map at this link.