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Watch: Chrissy Teigen breaks silence a month after losing son Jack at 20 weeks
A month after losing her third baby, a boy called Jack, Chrissy Teigen has penned a heartfelt blog post about her miscarriage.
“Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again,” the model, 34, wrote, describing delivering her 20-week-old baby boy who would ‘have never survived in my belly’.
“People say an experience like this creates a hole in your heart,” Teigen continued. “A hole was certainly made, but it was filled with the love of something I loved so much. It doesn’t feel empty, this space. It feels full.”
She added that she finds herself “randomly crying” and thinking about how happy she is that she has “two insanely wonderful little toddlers who fill this house with love”.
Teigen, who has a four-year-old daughter Luna and two-year-old son Miles with husband John Legend, says she has explained what happened to Jack to her kids, adding: “Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see.”
Talking to children about loss and grief, especially when a parent is going through the same feelings, can be particularly difficult.
“Although life cannot resume as it was before the death of a family member, routines can be established,” educational psychologist, Dr Kav Solder tells Yahoo UK.
We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough. . . We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever. . . To our Jack - I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you. . . Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you. . . We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience. But everyday can’t be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it.
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Solder adds that these routines will be important for providing security and stability when other aspects of life could seem “chaotic”.
She continues: “For primary school aged children, I would recommend approaching the topic of bereavement through stories. There are many excellent texts such as Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley and Sad by Michael Rosen, which explore the topic of death and help children to comprehend bereavement.
“Essentially, children need to have the bereavement acknowledged and know that they are able to talk about the deceased should they want to. They also need to have their feelings validated - whatever they are feeling is okay and acceptable.”
Solder says that children may have questions that arise after the death of a loved one, which is why it's important to keep lines of communication open.
“One way of doing this is creating some sort of memorial, this could be planting a tree, or crafting a box/book of memories.”
Teigen concluded her essay by encouraging people to share their stories and for others to “be kind to those pouring their hearts out” and to “be kind in general, as some won’t pour them out at all”.
Watch: Chrissy Teigen knew she had to document baby loss to help others