Chore wars: the 25 tasks most likely to cause arguments

Household issues that make tensions run high

Household chores are a pain and seemingly never-ending. As soon as the laundry bin is finally empty, someone in the house throws their dirty clothes back in ready for the next washing load. And it's not just chores that are frustrating when living with others. Remote control hoggers, thermostat sneakers and light-on leavers can all cause arguments.

We've rounded up the most common sources of household squabbles – and the best ways to diffuse them and reinstate peace in your home.

Read on to see how many you can tick off in your household...

Decorating dilemmas

Differing decorating tastes and choices can be a frequent basis for arguments between couples. Colour palettes, budgets and even DIY mistakes can lead to fall-outs.

Relationship expert Clarissa Bloom offers top tips on how to reach a compromise. First, remember that decorating can be stressful, so be patient. Try to work out if there is a way to meet in the middle, such as choosing a colour shade between your choices. Create personalised spaces where you can each take creative control such as a vanity area, reading nook or gaming desk. Finally, try to make it fun.

Clutter hoarding

A survey commissioned in 2023 found that 31% of UK adults argue over clutter around the home. 35% of respondents believe a messy home negatively impacts their mental health and overall mood and 44% of respondents admitted to hoarding items they don't need.

So, before you put that additional spare tyre in the garage or phone cable in the junk drawer alongside five others – stop! Think about if you really need it. Perhaps it's time to declutter your home and breathe new life into your living spaces.

Duvet wars

Stealing the covers has been revealed as the number one cause of arguments between couples in bed, according to a survey from bedding brand Sleepy People. Its results concluded that 61% of couples row in bed over quilt-hogging.

Sally Bonser, the company's sleep expert, says: "Sharing the bed with your partner can be tricky if you both have different sleep routines and preferences. If you're experiencing trouble, a simple change can make all the difference. Over half of Brits struggle with quilt hogging, so upgrading to a bigger duvet is an easy way to eliminate this issue."

Pets on furniture

According to the survey commissioned by Sleepy People, disagreements are often caused in the bedroom by having pets in bed.

Sleep expert Sally Bonser advises: "To avoid falling out with your partner about sharing the bed with your pet, it's also worth creating a separate sleeping area for your cat or dog... so they can give you some space when needed." The happy compromise is to let them stay in the bedroom, just not on the bed.

Teenage bedroom rebellions

Parents will be familiar with the constant battle with children to keep their rooms clean. Teaching youngsters the responsibility of picking up their mess is an essential life lesson that's important to learn.

Start educating them from a young age and lead by example. Why not give them the tools to help them succeed such as their own laundry basket? Helping them create a space they're proud of can also give kids and teens the motivation to look after it. Start by browsing bedroom ideas in catalogues or on Pinterest and then get decorating together.

Leaving belongings around

One in six adults has considered breaking up due to a partner’s messiness, with 47% of 2,000 surveyed arguing weekly about clutter. In research conducted by local sharing app Olio, 23% admit tidiness issues strain their relationship. Common triggers include piles of random items, dirty plates and wet towels left around the house.

Mairead Molloy, relationship expert and Global Director at matchmaking company Berkeley International says: "Communication is key to not having an argument in the first place. Couples often get into argument cycles where they are always arguing about the same thing. Try to stay calm. Don't interrupt each other and try to actively listen. Investing in ample storage will make sure you have plenty of space to tidy things away."

Not washing up

Whether it be partners, roommates or family members, frustration over washing-up duties is all too familiar. But at the end of the day, washing up after mealtimes is an essential part of living so a settlement must be made.

Perhaps this important and essential chore deserves a house meeting where a rota can be drawn up. Without being patronising, remind people of the washing-up rules. In hot, soapy water, wash items in this order: 1. glasses, 2. mugs, 3. saucers, 4. side plates, 5. dinner plates, 6. cutlery, 7. serving dishes, 8. pans, 9. roasting tins.

Loading the dishwasher 'wrong'

If the subject of household arguments came up at a dinner party, our bet is the dishwasher debate would be the first issue at the table. Dishwasher loading loathes are so common that according to The Sunday Times, the race is on between dishwasher manufacturers to come up with a design solution to dissolve tempers around dishwasher etiquette.

Here are some tips on how to load a dishwasher effectively from dishwasher detergent manufacturer Finish: Remove excess food from plates; there is no need to pre-rinse dishes. Overloading will prevent water and detergent flow, resulting in less efficient cleaning. Place glasses and mugs upside down on the top rack. Load utensils – except knives – handle down. Load stainless steel and glass pots and pans at the bottom so they don't interfere with water flow. Keep dishwasher-safe plastics on the top rack to prevent warping.

What to keep in the fridge

From the first electric ice boxes at the start of the 20th century to the energy-efficient smart fridges of today that suggest what to have for dinner, the fridge is a wonderful kitchen appliance. However, the question of what exactly should be stored in the refrigerator can often cause problems.

The most common foods people argue about are bananas, butter, eggs and chocolate – none of which need to be stored in the fridge.

Not wiping worktops

Busy households will be all too familiar with dirty kitchen worktops, so keeping them clean and crumb-free can seem like a never-ending task. Clean your house like a professional by sticking to a routine and cleaning as you go. It will soon turn the chore into a daily habit.

Top tip: keep chopping boards close by that are easy to wipe down. This will also protect your worktops from becoming scratched.

Not emptying the bin

Taking out the rubbish is a bone of contention in many homes. It's an unpleasant task that should be shared amongst the household but alas, one member usually continuously draws the short straw. However, if it's causing arguments, the least fun job in the house should be shared between occupants to make life easier.

"This is the most stereotypical fight to come up in relationships", clinical psychologist Rudi Rahbar told Women's Health. "Sit down and have a calm conversation about why it's important, and be sure to include what other house chores you are taking on."

Not knowing how to recycle

We live in a world where most of us are trying to do our bit to help the planet. So when someone throws a can or cereal box into the wrong bin out of ignorance or laziness, more conscientious family members may strongly object.

To encourage recycling at home, have more dedicated bins around the home in easy-to-reach places. Reuse products where possible and make sure others know why recycling is important.

Not changing an empty toilet roll

Toilet paper etiquette is a big topic of bust-ups in households it seems. There's nothing more frustrating than seeing an empty toilet roll left in the holder. Often, this comes down to forgetfulness. Keep a store of toilet paper rolls in a caddy or stacked on a side table in your bathroom, that way it's easier to swap out the empty roll for a new one.

Then there's the 'over or under' debate. Should toilet paper hang over or under the roll? Well, it's been proven that toilet paper hung 'over' is more hygienic and reduces the spread of bacteria, so that's that one settled.

Leaving the toilet seat up

According to research conducted in 2022, 81% of respondents think you should put the toilet seat down after going to the bathroom, while the other 19% disagree.

A study by Dr Mehael Fennelly at Ireland's University of Cork in 2019 found that flushing the loo with the lid down reduces the number of visible and smaller droplets of toilet plume by between 30% and 60%. These plumes carry concentrated amounts of bacteria. Other reasons to keep the lid down during and after flushing are that it's safer for pets and children too. Don't forget that you should always wash your hands after touching a toilet seat.

Hogging the TV remote control

With so many channels and streaming platforms to choose from it's no wonder TV wars are common in most households. Research conducted by London Business School concluded that the main gender culprit for hogging the TV remote control was men, regardless of whether they are planning to change the channel. Men it would appear are also usually guilty of channel grazing too.

So, how do you make movie night an equal viewing affair? We suggest implementing a rota system and sticking to it.

Thermo-spats

Arguments about the heating all come down to science. Dr Michael Mosley's BBC Radio 4 podcast, Cold Therapy, concludes that it is a fact that women feel the cold more than men. In his programme, Hannah Pallubinsky, Assistant Professor at Maastricht University in the Netherlands, explained that men typically have more muscle mass than women, which produces more heat and keeps them warmer. She said it was "a very real biological explanation and not just a stereotype".

Meeting in the middle is a good compromise, but embracing colder climes may have some benefits. Dr Mosley's podcast found that not only does a lower thermostat temperature save energy but it's good for your health: "So, if you want to improve your sugar and fat metabolism, lower your blood pressure and maybe feel a bit brighter you could try turning down the thermostat a bit", Mosley says.

Opening or closing windows

Opening and closing the window is yet another argument that possibly stems from room temperature debates. But there are misconceptions about when to open windows to improve your indoor environment. To settle any arguments, it's wise to do your research first.

Opening windows partly during the winter for short periods is vital for air circulation. This helps to eliminate condensation and get rid of mould and damp. But during the summer, it's a good idea to keep windows shut and curtains closed when it's particularly hot outside as this will stop warm air from entering the house.

Wet towels on the floor

Leaving wet towels on the floor is another bugbear youngsters of the house may be guilty of. Why not get more cooperation by educating the perpetrator on why it is a health hazard?

If not hung to dry, any water that's absorbed by the towel will leave it moist. This provides the perfect breeding ground for bacteria to multiply, leading to musty odours and mould. If left on the floor, towels can also create a damp environment that's welcoming to household pests like silverfish.

Not cleaning the shower screen

A dirty shower screen instantly makes a bathroom look lacklustre and unclean. Unfortunately, hard water droplets build up every time someone has a shower.

Keep a cleaning squeegee with a suction pad in the shower and ask household members to wipe it down every time they finish showering. Removing the excess water will also help dissuade condensation and mould build-up.

Not doing laundry

Laundry can cause heated debates. Garment pile-ups, shrunken clothes and ironing can all trigger arguments.

If laundry is a dirty word in your household, there are some time and effort-saving shortcuts to help lighten the load. For example, use mesh bags to protect your delicates and invest in laundry baskets with built-in dividers so there's no need to separate your items later on. Don't forget to make regular household chores fair, for instance, if one person does the laundry, someone else should take charge of the rubbish.

Not putting laundry away

Another frustrating problem is lingering laundry that never seems to get put away. Seeing clothes that you may have washed, ironed and folded still sitting on a chair or even back on the floor is enough to make anyone hostile.

For life with less laundry mess, instigate some house rules. Ensure each household member knows that it is their responsibility to put their own clean clothes away as soon as they are dry. You can also help instil good habits in youngsters from an early age with low cubby holes and labelled drawers that are easy to reach.

Overloading the washing machine

As with overloading the dishwasher, cramming a washing machine drum will hinder the cycle and stop it from cleaning your clothes as efficiently. To make matters worse, leaving the washing in the drum for hours after the cycle has finished will result in multiplying bacteria and musty odours.

Encourage laundry to be completed efficiently and productively by explaining mishaps to each member of the household. Cramming too much into your machine will cause clothes to clump together, creating that hardened, tough feeling. Instead, go for a medium load.

Shoe pile-ups

No matter how many feet live in a house, footwear strewn about a hallway or boot room is problematic. Reasons for irritation include trip hazards, clutter and bad odours.

Good hallway storage could be the answer to all your shoe wars. Stylish shoe cabinets are a practical way to make hallways clean and clutter-free. Why not dedicate different storage zones or shelves for different family members? Little ones will find it fun and older ones will no longer have any excuses.

Lighting woes

With the cost of living sky-high, we are always looking for ways to cut down on energy bills. So when lights are continuously left on when no one is in a room, tensions can flare.

Ensure your lights are fitted with energy-saving lightbulbs and explain to the main offenders why leaving unnecessary lights on is a waste of energy and money. If it's still causing issues why not invest in a sensor light for high-traffic areas or battery-powered, low-lighting when a room is not in use? 

Forgetting door keys

Picture the scene: you've just sunk into a steaming hot bath to relax and the doorbell rings... and rings... and rings. Someone's forgotten their key again.

Ensure everyone remembers their door keys by cutting a set for each person and placing it on a personalised keyring. Pop a key station somewhere in the hallway, but ensure it's a safe distance away from the front door. Or, if there are some very absent-minded people in your house, a secret, mounted key safe outside may bring harmony back to the home.