Charge your adult children rent – you’re doing them a favour

<span>‘They should immediately be offering what they can afford, without waiting to be asked,’ writes John Hunter.</span><span>Photograph: Maskot/Getty Images</span>
‘They should immediately be offering what they can afford, without waiting to be asked,’ writes John Hunter.Photograph: Maskot/Getty Images

Covid brought three of our adult children back home, and we had to invent a major home renovation project to persuade them to step out into the wide world. Like some of Sue Elliott-Nicholls’s interviewees (My two adult kids have had to move back home. Should I be charging them rent – and if so, how much?, 4 May), I love them dearly, and feel grateful for the extra time we had as a family, but didn’t think twice about asking them to contribute to the household –financially and for chores.

Between four adults (three in Bristol and one in London), our children pay more than £4,400 a month in housing costs. There is likely to be no house-buying for them unless we sell up and downsize, and hand on our baby-boomer equity – or they land incredibly high salaries. Some more research on the likelihood of the latter would be gratefully received, as we have a lot of travel in mind for our retirement and could do with the cash.
Charlotte Jones
Compton Dundon, Somerset

• Sue Elliott-Nicholls asks how much rent she should charge her two adult children. First, they should immediately be offering what they can afford, without waiting to be asked. Second, the amount they pay should be based (if possible) on covering the cost of food, extra heat and the like. It can vary if their income fluctuates. She’s definitely not seeking to make a profit. To allow them free food plus accommodation is to infantilise them.
John Hunter
Holmes Chapel, Cheshire

• Ms Elliott-Nicholls should certainly charge her adult children for their accommodation.

My wife and I have three adult children. When they were teenagers at secondary school and college with part-time employment, we charged each of them 10% of their take-home pay. This has given all three of them a much better sense of financial responsibility. None of them went to university, but they each have stable employment, no debt (other than mortgages), and their own homes.
Geoff Smith
Endon, Staffordshire

• Of course adults should pay their way. What message are you giving them otherwise? My comfortably-off parents charged me a third of my take-home pay; I did the same with my children in their first post-uni jobs. You can treat them to other things but treat them also as grownup people.
Sally Bates
Cotgrave, Nottinghamshire

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