'I challenged myself to unplug for 1,000 hours – and learnt so much'
In May 2021, I created a challenge for myself: unplug for 1,000 hours in one year.
The challenge was born out of my desire to be more present. As a work-from-home mum with a one-year-old, I often felt exhausted and overwhelmed. I felt like I couldn’t keep up with the pace of life I’d set for myself.
Looking down at the phone (almost always in my hand), I knew it was part of the problem. I knew my phone habits needed to shift if I ever wanted to step into a more vibrant and intentional life.
When I turned off my phone for the first time that May, I thought that was all I was doing: completing a challenge. But the things I learned in those unplugged hours, and the things I am still discovering today, took me by complete surprise and unexpectedly transformed my life.
I became a more present mother
Before this challenge, I started to realise I was telling my daughter a story every time I picked up the phone and it wasn’t a very good one. The checking was constant, partly because it had become an ingrained habit over the years. I wasn't really checking in with things like I told myself I was. A lot of times, I was reaching for my phone to check out.
In those first few months of powering down, I started practising what I call 'pockets of presence' with my daughter. These are the times of the day when we're fully locked into one another—we have each other’s full attention. It's one of the best gifts—within my grasp—that I can consistently give her.
The pockets aren't always long and full transparency: I don't always get it right.
Just the other day, I felt less present than I wanted to be throughout the day. At bedtime, I apologised and asked my daughter, 'If you could do one thing in the world tomorrow with Mummy, what would it be?' Her face lit up. 'Let's do a puzzle!' Deal, I told her.
Since powering down, I've learned that my daughter often wants these little acts of presence from me—the 15-minute puzzle or the walk around the block. I'm beginning to think that's what most of us want from one another: small, uninterrupted pockets of time where we feel fully seen by the person across from us.
I learned to slow down and listen to my body
The more I traded time spent scrolling for unplugged hours, the more I slowed down and learned to listen to my body. It was an unexpected side effect of unplugging.
I'd long operated by the 'do more' mentality, which left me skipping vital parts of self-care, like having a solid morning routine or preparing a meal for myself that wasn't frozen. I'd always opt for the quicker option, for the chance to get more done in a day.
I started making better choices for my body because I was less distracted by my phone. I incorporated more vegetables. I made meals that would nourish me. I sat at the table instead of in front of the computer. I became more mindful with my plate.
Learning to listen to my body led me to the doctor, who discovered hormonal imbalances I didn't even know existed. With this new knowledge and a deeper appreciation for self-care, I started feeling better in my own skin.
I started savouring my life more
One of the best gifts of unplugging was one I wasn't expecting: I started to love my life in a way I didn't think was possible.
In this digital era, where everything is documented online, I'd slowly gotten away from living for myself. I was living for the approval of others—for likes, comments, and applause. I would often think: If I don't share this moment, does this moment matter?
I'm starting to think the healthy opposite of constant sharing is learning to savour things for ourselves.
The more I powered down, the more I found different ways to document my life that didn't have to do with my phone. I bought a digital camera and started printing photos. I began writing memories in a 5-year diary. I wrote more letters to my friends and family. I pulled cookbooks from the shelf that had collected dust over the years and started preparing recipes. I began keeping notebooks filled with love notes for my husband and daughter. With each method of slower documentation, I appreciated my life more and more.
Yes, these are less efficient than pulling out a phone or pinning a recipe, but their point is different. These slower forms of documentation are evidence. They're proof that I'm finally sinking my heels into the moment at hand and building a life I love– one present hour at a time.
Hannah Brencher is a writer, TED Talk speaker, mental health advocate, and author. Her new book, The Unplugged Hours, is out on 17 September and can be pre-ordered here. She is also the founder of The World Needs More Love Letters, a global organisation that uses the power of social media to write and mail letters to strangers in need worldwide.
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