Bride shocked as friend abandons hen do, turns up uninvited to groom's stag instead

Should the bride-to-be de-invite her? [Photo: Pexels]
Should the bride-to-be de-invite her? [Photo: Pexels]

It’s one thing cancelling on your best friend’s hen do at the last minute. But it’s another saying you can’t make it, only to turn up at the groom’s stag do instead.

Especially if you weren’t even invited.

Friends since teenagers, the 30-year-old bride had invited her girlfriend to the event which had been arranged “long ago” in her hometown.

And invited that friend’s husband to the stag – which was taking place on the same evening – despite him not knowing the husband-to-be that well.

Can the couple still stomach inviting the friend to their big day? [Photo: Pexels]
Can the couple still stomach inviting the friend to their big day? [Photo: Pexels]

Invites which the couple accepted “straight away”. Until the female friend said she couldn’t attend because she couldn’t find a babysitter, that is.

But after the event, the bride-to-be discovered that the friend hadn’t been babysitting at all and had secretly turned up at the stag do instead. And now, the bride-to-be is contemplating whether to de-invite the couple to her wedding.

Not without asking the internet (naturally) whether she’s being unreasonable first.

“Still trying to process but there it is,” the woman wrote on Mumsnet. “Last night was my hen do. Same time as my DHTB [Dear Husband To Be] stag. All arranged long ago in my home town.”

Jumping the gun or fair enough? [Photo: Pexels]
Jumping the gun or fair enough? [Photo: Pexels]

“Said friend invited to hen do, her DH [dear husband] to stag. They don’t know my DHTB well but we have been friends since late teens (am 30yrs old). Her husband confirmed stag do attendance straight away. She made excuses (kids, etc) reg my hen.

“Today I find from other stags, etc that she actually tagged along with her DH with the stags?! The only one there not a stripper and a wife, etc. Feel terrible, since they are essentially MY friends, but I had no idea.”

As if wedding prep wasn’t stressful enough [Photo: Pexels]
As if wedding prep wasn’t stressful enough [Photo: Pexels]

“Just feel like picking up the phone and telling them to get lost and not bother coming to the wedding now… AIBU [am I being unreasonable]?”

“I don’t blame you for being annoyed,” wrote another user. “She wasn’t invited to the stag do so it was pretty rude of her to turn up especially considering this meant you knew she was lying about why she couldn’t attend your hen do. I suspect that she intended to go to the stag do all along because she doesn’t trust her DH.”

To which others agreed.

“She must have real trust (possibly justified, possibly not) issues and her husband must have been so embarrassed,” another commenter said.

She turned up totally uninvited [Photo: Pexels]
She turned up totally uninvited [Photo: Pexels]

Others, meanwhile, recounted having similar experiences.

“My hen and DHs stag were on different weekends,” another person said. “On the night of the stag, me and some friends had a girls night in, wine, chick flick etc. I went home around midnight as I had work the next day, they all went into town and joined the stag party. I was fuming then and they hadn’t even ditched me.

“I’d talk to her, ask what the hell she is playing at and what her excuses are before disinviting [sic], but I’d seriously consider it.”

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