Bride Replaces Bridesmaid Just Days Before Wedding Because She Refused to Buy the Specified Dress
"I just asked this one thing, and she couldn't do that. It honestly feels like my wedding day just wasn't important to her," said the bride, who explained the dilemma in a post on Reddit
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A bride with her bridesmaids (stock image)A bride has decided to replace one of her bridesmaids just days before her wedding over a dress dispute.
The 26-year-old bride shared her dilemma in a recent post on Reddit's popular "Am I the A------?" thread, explaining that she asked all of her eight bridesmaids to purchase the same burgundy mesh dress she had picked out from an online retailer, along with silver shoes.
With the wedding then just one month away, she checked in with her bridesmaids to make sure that they had ordered their dresses and that they would be delivered on time. One of the women — whom the bride said she's known since she was 12 years old — texted back, writing only, "I have a dress."
The bride wrote in her post that the wording of the bridesmaid's message made her "uneasy," so at the suggestion of her matron of honor, she asked the woman to send her a picture of her dress. She did and was shocked when it wasn't the one she had picked out for the bridesmaids.
"My heart literally dropped. The only thing I could do was respond, 'No, that's not the right color,' " she recalled.
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A bride poses with her bridesmaids (stock image)Related: JetBlue Helps Jilted Bridesmaid After She's Asked to 'Relinquish' Her 'Duties' by Bride
The woman then texted back, insisting that the bride had told her that the dress had to be "maroon and chiffon and nothing else." However, the bride wrote on Reddit that she had screenshots proving that she had sent her a link to the chosen bridesmaid dress online back in December.
After the bride pointed this out, she received a string of messages from the woman saying she's sorry for "ruining everything and messing up" and that she "can't afford a dress right now."
Despite the apologies, the bride wrote that she stopped answering her friend's texts out of frustration. "I asked for next to nothing from her for my wedding. I didn't require her to help with anything or come to any of the wedding events (dress fittings, showers or bach trip). I just asked this one thing, and she couldn't do that," she explained, adding, "It honestly feels like my wedding day just wasn't important to her."
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The bride then revealed that her matron of honor happened to have a burgundy dress in her closet from a previous bridesmaid stint which "perfectly matches" the dress the bride picked out for her own bridesmaids to wear. The dress fits another one of the bride's friends, who was not previously asked to be a bridesmaid and has now been tapped to replace the woman in the upcoming wedding.
"She is still invited to the wedding, but she's not a bridesmaid anymore and won't be walking down the aisle," the bride wrote, before admitting that she is now having big regrets about her decision. "I feel absolutely horrible and have barely slept tonight, but my fiancé is insisting that l've done nothing wrong. So Reddit, am I the a------ here?" she ended her post, inviting people to share their opinions on the sticky situation.
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While many commenters empathized with the woman's concern about affording the dress, they took issue with the way she handled the dress dispute with the bride. "You laid out the expectations, and [Sam] skirted around them thinking you wouldn’t notice. All she had to do was communicate, and she chose not to," one person argued.
"This is it," agreed another Redditor. "If [the woman] had said from the outset that she couldn't afford a dress, then OP could have made arrangements (either helping her out financially or hooking her up with [the matron of honor's spare dress). The fact that she said nothing and just expected everything to work out somehow — and then did the 'woe is me' act when she was pulled up on it — is disrespectful."
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A bride with her bridesmaids (stock image)A third person commented that the woman "absolutely should have come to you as soon as she realized that she couldn’t afford the dress you were asking for. She didn’t even give you a chance to work with her on this, and she was deliberately cagey when directly asked about her outfit (and deliberately tried to convince you that you were at fault for this). She had so many opportunities to handle this like an adult, and she dodged them all."
Still, some people questioned the bride's choice to replace her — and how the move would be perceived by the replacement bridesmaid, named Gabby. "I couldn't imagine being Gabby in this situation. 'Hey, you're not one of my eight closest friends, but you're a size Medium, so I really want to give you a job so I have even numbers.' "
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