People Who Chose Not To Be Parents Are Coming Clean About Any Regrets They Have

Recently, I asked child-free people in the BuzzFeed Community to share if they had any regrets about their decision. Here's what they had to say:

1."My most memorable 'you'll change your mind' conversation was with a coworker who was completely oblivious to how uncomfortable she was making me. She said, 'Just try it!' like there was a child return counter you could go to in case you find it doesn't suit you instead of the biggest, most life-altering decision a person can make."

2."I absolutely regret it every single day. Life feels meaningless. While I might be able to do what I want and spend money how I choose, it all ultimately doesn't mean a thing. The older I have gotten, the more I have learned that life's meaning is who we choose to spend it with. Friendships fade but family is always there."

—Anonymous

3."Me (30 F) and my partner (34 M) both knew that we didn't want to have kids when we first started dating. A VERY important point that needed to be agreed on before we could get serious with each other. We've been together for five years and do not regret being child-free, not even a little! Among other things, I think that the current economic climate for my generation has made healthily raising a family nearly impossible for most couples."

4."None at all. I'm now in my 40s and finally have adult money to enjoy for myself, spoil my niece and nephew, and be the cool aunt."

—Amanda, Florida

5."I'm a boomer who never wanted to have kids and didn't. I had a good family life growing up. But even as a child, I could see how much work kids were and knew I wanted to put my energy into things other than raising children. I have never regretted my decision, and I'm now in my 70s."

6."As a younger adult, I assumed I'd have kids, but it didn't happen for basically all of the reasons why it doesn't work out for people to have kids. Day to day, I am content with my life. But I feel really sad and wistful when I think about what amazing grandparents my parents would be, and how much they would love that. I wish I could have given them, and a hypothetical child, that gift."

—Anonymous

7."I'm a 50-year-old Gen X woman. I haven't regretted for a minute being childless. I never sensed the baby fever many of my female and some of my male friends had. Apart from occasionally thinking, 'I wonder what our kids would look like?' when in a relationship, I never thought seriously about having children. A family friend who has known me forever said I was being 'selfish' for not having children. Instead of telling him exactly where he could stuff that absurd take, I reminded him I've been an educator since 2000. I've had some influence over hundreds of high school students and college kids in that time. This, to me, is far more gratifying than making a mini-me."

8."I'm 52 and knew when I was 16 that I never wanted kids. I've had so many people tell me over the years, 'Oh, you'll change your mind when you meet the right guy.' I did meet the right guy and he also never wanted kids! I love being the fun aunt, but I love my independence and ability to travel more than anything. No regrets at all."

—Anonymous, Vancouver, Canada

9."I am 31 years old with no children and have no regrets. Having children should be a 'hell yes' or nothing. I'm sure I would make a great mother, but I see it as the equivalent of someone saying that 'you'd be a great teacher' when you want to be a nurse or something. Just because you could, doesn't mean your heart is in it!"

10."I never wanted kids, even when I was one and got a vasectomy in my mid-20s. Greatest decision ever. It is one fewer thing to worry about and I get a warm fuzzy feeling every time I see some annoying child knowing I will never have to deal with that."

—Chris Camp, Bellingham, Washington

11."I'm 37, single, and can't have kids due to complications without using IVF. I always wanted to be a mom, but since I'm getting older without the right partner, it's just not in the cards for me. The cost of IVF and raising kids deters me from having them on my own. I also question how I'd keep up with parenting and working at the same time without the right support. I do think down the road, I will regret it."

12."38-year-old millennial married to a 38-year-old millennial. We planned on having kids someday and got unexpectedly pregnant once early in our marriage. I miscarried, which was physically painful, but not as emotionally damaging as I would have expected. There was sadness, but there was also relief, which was hard to come to terms with as it made me feel like I was a 'bad' person. I decided pretty quickly afterward that I didn't want to be pregnant ever again, and had no desire to be a mom."

"My husband was a little slower in his realization. He felt pressured to want kids by his family but didn't have the desire to have kids. He works in education so I feel like that is a good outlet for him, as well as excellent birth control. Senior dogs are more our speed, so we've adopted a few. I'm lucky to have friends with and without kids, and I love being an honorary aunt. I don't regret our decision as it's allowed us to focus on our pets and each other. Dogs are cheaper than kids!"

—sarahheartscats

13."Gen X, married with no kids. I love kids and occasionally get a twinge of baby fever but have no regrets about choosing to remain childless."

14."I'm a Gen X'er. I was pregnant three times when I lived abroad. I lost all three pregnancies, which was devastating. I later learned a medication I had been on since my mid-20s probably contributed to the losses, something that wasn't known by the medical community until after my last pregnancy. Years later I got a full hysterectomy because I was fearful of getting pregnant again. I absolutely do not regret getting the hysterectomy or how my life has played out. My marriage ended partially due to the pregnancy issues. He was adopted and wanted his own biological family. Later, I met my current partner. He has a son who has become my stepson and it's been one of the best experiences of my life. I've also had many animals that I've mothered, and that has been extremely satisfying."

"I got a master's degree after all the pregnancies. I now have a career and a personal life that's extremely satisfying. I don't know if I would have been able to do that as a mother of three.

I took a lot of s--t from my family for losing the pregnancies, and it was emotionally brutal, but I'm at peace. My father died recently and one of the last things I said to him was, 'I'm sorry for not having children.' He indicated that it wasn't important, but it was something I needed to say.

As a woman, it can be hard to feel like you've let people down if your pregnancy fails. Those women need to come to terms with what they can and can't control, especially if they've been blamed a lot in life for things out of their can't control. I decided I wasn't going to hide in shame or regret. At nearly 49 years old I love my life and I wouldn't change anything about it."

—Anonymous, Wisconsin

15."I'm a 36-year-old millennial married to a 41-year-old, and we are both happy with our decision to never have kids. It was something neither of us ever really wanted. While I love spoiling my best friend's kids, I also love giving them back and having my freedom! Not to mention looking at the state of the world these days, we are so happy not to worry about raising kids in this mess. Props to those who do though."

16."I have no regrets. I like kids but love my freedom more. Every time I see a woman in public struggling with children, I feel an enormous sense of relief that that's not my life."

—Allie, California

17."My mom left when I was 12 and I was forced into a caretaker role with four younger siblings. Once I left for college, the freedom was intoxicating. No more making dinner every night, helping with homework, or doing everybody's laundry. It felt like breathing for the first time. I'm 38 now and still can't fathom giving that freedom up. Instead, I get to be the awesome fun aunt to 12 nieces and nephews. I wouldn't change a thing."

18."I absolutely do not. My partner and I have never wanted kids, and I don't think that will ever change. We value our freedom and have jobs and hobbies that would not mesh well with having a child around since they require peace, quiet, and a ton of free time. It's not that I don't love kids, I love my nephews and nieces to bits. And since we are childless with double incomes, it lets us spoil the heck out of them."

"Every time we show up the kids get excited because it'll be a week of uncle never telling them, 'No we can't afford that.' My siblings appreciate it since they are all struggling to keep afloat with how ludicrously expensive just living is these days. While a few hundred bucks on some cool Hot Wheels, Legos, and a scooter is nothing to me, it's the difference between buying food and affording bills for them."

—Anonymous, Iowa

19."I'm on the fence at the moment. I thought I'd always wanted children but I'm 36 and childless. Most of my friends have children but I don't find myself jealous. My girlfriend and I love to travel and enjoy being able to take off for long holidays. I've also been through a lot over the past few years, and not having to cope with looking after children has helped me to survive. Maybe there will be kids in the future, but right now I'm happy things are much simpler!"

If you decided not to have kids, do you have any regrets? Share your experience in the comments!

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.