9 Secrets To Throwing A Great Party, According To Hosts Who Do It Well
Hosting a gathering — whether a dinner party, cocktail soiree or birthday celebration — can be stressful for some.
Maybe you’re the kind of person who gets so worried about the party being a success that you get hung up on inconsequential details while neglecting some of the important things that can make a difference.
That’s why we turned to seasoned hosts to get their best tips for throwing a party your guests will love — and one that you can actually enjoy, too. Below, they share some of their secrets:
1. Play to your own strengths.
As the host, it’s important to throw the kind of party that works for you, event planner Brooke Barr, founder of The Uncommon Hostess, told HuffPost. Doing so will help alleviate some of the stress.
“If you’re not super confident about your cooking skills, make it a potluck,” she advised. “If you’re stressed about decor, do some simple things.”
2. Start planning a few weeks ahead of time.
The best parties aren’t spontaneously thrown together — they require three weeks of “runway time,” Nick Gray, author of “The 2-Hour Cocktail Party”,” told HuffPost.
“This isn’t random — it gives you time to first confirm your core group of reliable friends, then build excitement with great guests and send well-timed reminders that guarantee strong attendance,” he said.
3. Choose the menu with the event space in mind.
“The venue always sets the menu,” etiquette expert Jodi RR Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, told HuffPost.
In other words, if you’re having a cocktail party where people will be standing, you want the food to be bite-sized so people can eat it while holding a drink. And make sure you have cocktail napkins at the ready, she said.
“Once you have plates of food, tables and chairs — or at least a place to perch — is necessary,” Smith added.
4. When it comes to the guest list, size matters.
You might take a “the more, the merrier” approach for a backyard BBQ, but that doesn’t work well for other types of gatherings, said Smith.
“Cocktail parties work best when inviting a handful of guests from different friendship groups, and even better if there are some commonalities — careers, hobbies, etc.” she said.
“Dinner party size depends on how you want the conversation to flow. Four to six people is wonderful for an intimate event. Eight to 12 people is a bit more festive. Over 12 is a full on social event.”
5. Ask a few friends to arrive early.
Great hosts will pick two to three close friends to come about 15 minutes early, Gray said. He calls this the “core group.”
“These allies help turn the dreaded ‘Awkward Zone’ — those first 20 minutes — into a warm, welcoming start,” Gray said.
6. Pay attention to the lighting and overall ambience.
These details help really set the right mood for the occasion.
“Nobody likes to have cocktails under klieg light,” etiquette expert Nick Leighton, co-host of the podcast “Were You Raised By Wolves?” told HuffPost. “But don’t make it so dark that people are bumping into the furniture either. And don’t forget about the bathroom. Flattering lighting is key in there, too.”
Music can also help you cultivate the right vibe, so be sure to have a good playlist queued up.
Additionally, “make sure your home is welcoming and that it is clean and decluttered,” said Barr.
7. Stock up on ice and mixers.
Pro tip: Always get more ice and mixers than you need.
“Nothing ends a party faster than only being able to offer your guests warm cups of gin,” Leighton said.
8. Encourage people to move around and mingle.
The No. 1 thing Gray is paying attention to at a party? “Are people moving around the room, or are they stuck talking to the same people?” he said.
Chatting with the same people is OK at a seated dinner party, but at a cocktail party and other gatherings, Gray said he prefers to see “a lot of movement” at the beginning of the party.
“This helps your guests meet new people as soon as possible and have a better chance of creating new connections,” he added.
Gray facilitates this by asking guests to physically move from one area, like the kitchen, to another location, such as the living room, to do introductions.
“If a host is having fun, then the guests will, too.”Nick Leighton, co-host of the podcast “Were You Raised By Wolves?”
To help grease the conversational wheels, he’ll ask everyone to introduce themselves and throw out an easy conversation-starting question like “what was your first job?” “what’s your favorite breakfast?” or “what was your first AIM screen name?”
“This helps everyone break up their existing conversations,” Gray said.
“A lot of people are good at starting new conversations, but they’re bad at ending conversations — they’re too polite. When you move people around the space and help them talk to new people, it naturally raises the energy of the room.”
9. Don’t get hung up on things being perfect.
When a host is overly stressed out, the guests end up feeding off their energy. Try to take a deep breath and let go of those perfectionistic tendencies so you can all have a good time.
“You should always plan well, but then when the party starts, a good host knows to just enjoy it and doesn’t worry about perfection,” Leighton said. “If a host is having fun, then the guests will, too.”
