"I Feel Like No One Ever Warned Me" — People Over 40 Are Sharing Things About Aging That Young People Never, Ever Realize Are Going To Effect Them
Sometimes, I feel like it's the rare 20-somethings who actually seek out and listen to older people's advice. But as it turns out, a lot of young people are looking for good old-fashioned generational guidance. Recently, Reddit user u/SuckMySalami took to the popular AskReddit page to ask, "People in their 40s, what’s something people in their 20s don’t realize is going to affect them when they age?" So, here are some of the best answers (which I honestly think could be good advice for people of any age group).
1."The benefits of working out. My father started regularly working out in his 40s. Nothing extreme, just consistent. He is now 87 and is still in great health. All of his doctors have credited the fact that he started regularly taking care of himself as the reason why he is doing so well."
2."Not wearing ear protection at concerts. Having tinnitus sucks."
"For anybody unaware like I was until my late 20s, they make earplugs that are designed to lower the volume without muffling the sound like the foam earplugs do. Do a search for musician’s earplugs."
3."Finding hobbies and other interests is more important than you think."
4."Neglecting your dental health. Deciding to stop going to the dentist because you are no longer forced to by your family won't end well, trust me. That was not a smart choice I made way back when and it affected me for years afterward. Honestly, it could have been much worse for me."
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5."Some people are made of titanium. Some people aren’t. There’s no way to know which is which."
"My friend's dad was a coke addict [and is] very healthy at 74. [I] had a healthy runner friend have a heart attack at 35. Just because one person can binge drink and be healthy at 80 doesn’t mean that you can. You won’t know until it’s too late."
6."Bad habits become harder to recover from and can lead to health problems [for] the rest of your life. Not just in catastrophic ways, but in little ways like bad joints or aches and pains. Stay mobile, stay healthy."
7."That knee injury you think you recovered from is going to come back to haunt you."
8."Not putting in the work to maintain relationships. Having friends in your 20s is accidental. Having friends in your 40s [onward] is a part-time job."
9."Saving for retirement. Wish I started sooner."
"For years I was telling myself that I couldn't afford to save for retirement. The truth was I absolutely was able to, but instead, I spent that money on cheap food and nights out at the bar with friends.
"With that being said, I don't regret making those choices when I was younger, but the point is, there was always a little money here or there I could have been saving (and HAD I put that money into a retirement or brokerage account, I'd be in REALLY good shape right now)."
10."That life goes by fast, especially after 25."
11."Stretch, you fools. Stretch every day... and strengthen your joints."
12."If you [have] perfect eyesight up until your 40s, be prepared for the possibility that you will have to begin wearing glasses."
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13."Even if your significant other is amazing, if their family culture is toxic it is going to have a massive negative effect on your life. I know it sounds harsh or sad, but it should be a big portion of the decision to commit to someone."
14."If you’re a woman, [be aware of] perimenopause. We collectively think of menopause as being the big deal, not realizing it’s a process and not realizing it’s an issue that (often) starts in our 40s."
"I feel like no one ever warned me.
"The brain fog is horrific. You wake up at night looking like you were just in the ocean. Currently, I look like I'm eight months pregnant because I ate a single garlic knot two days ago. Got some cool Raynaud's, too—loving the corpse finger look when the AC is on too high. The kicker is that it's a different experience depending on the woman. My 'hot flashes' are just my ears feeling warm for about 15 minutes."
15."Drinking. Even drinking moderately (seven to 14 drinks per week, or one to two per night) literally degenerates your brain."
"It straight up changes who you are. [I] just had to physically restrain my little brother this weekend while his girlfriend packed up her stuff in an attempt to leave his ass. He’s my brother, but not when he is drunk, which is constantly. He has never taken any responsibility for anything; not his DUI, [not] the 5(!) jobs he has lost this year alone.
"I don’t plan to talk to him again until he is in recovery... He is only 25."
In regards to drinking: "Also, don’t think that shit won’t catch up with you until you’re 40 (or older,) because I did. It caught up to me fully before I was 30. Liver problems, kidney failure, pancreatitis, heart problems, the whole nine. It was nothing short of a miracle that I made it out alive. If you’re young and you think you might have a problem, get that shit in check, talk to people that have been through it. It isn’t real until it’s real."
16."My mom is always asking me what skin creams I use and lowkey implies I’m lying about having no skincare routine beyond sunscreen. She was big on suntanning, so much so that she deliberately allowed me to burn as a child because I was 'too pale.' She won’t accept [that] the sun is what aged her skin. It’s crazy too because she does still look very good for her age, if she had used sunscreen she’d have looked even better."
"Please [use] moisturizer and sunscreen. In weird places like [your] neck [and] backs of hands."
17."Your online life is leaving a traceable trail. You should be much more protective of what information you publicly share."
18."People in their 20s aren't prepared for the experience of having people younger than them claim that some experience was a foundational core of their generation when you had the same experience long before that."
Tupungato / Getty Images, Bettmann / Bettmann Archive
"I'm in my 40s and I get this all the time with millennials claiming they were there for 'the birth of the internet' and then [going] on to talk about sites like ebaumsworld and homestarrunner and myspace, when people my age have been using the internet and making memes and getting in stupid arguments since before the web existed."
"Right now everyone has pretty strong memories of the pandemic. For some people, it forever changed who they are and is a core memory. But one day you'll run into an adult who was born after the pandemic and has no memory of it other than what people told them.
"This has been my experience with 9/11. That event fundamentally changed the United States and for years, everyone had a 'How I Learned About 9/11' story. Now, there are adults who were either too young to remember or [who were] not even born when 9/11 happened. A huge event that changed everything and a younger generation has no clue what it was like and how it changed everything.
"Now I know how my older relatives and teachers felt when they talked about the JFK assassination and moon landing."
19."If you're a woman, bone density! Start a good weight lifting routine to protect them."
"Fucking strength train. You don't need to get big, but man or woman you need to build and strengthen muscle. It staves off so many parts of aging. You'll find yourself declining incredibly fast if you don't get your shit together earlier, and the earlier you start the better for many reasons. Pick up those dumbbells. Look up routines. Ask for help. Push through the anxiety if you're nervous. You owe it to yourself to be strong and healthy for more of your life."
20."Excessive ear hair."
21."I don't know how much this applies, but there comes a point in life, for many it's in their 40s, where you realize that stuff like being famous, building a legacy, [or] being highly respected in your career doesn't matter AT ALL. And when you get there... life becomes wonderful."
22."Take your mental health seriously. Men, let your significant other feel their feelings; don't try to problem-solve for them. To quote my therapist: 'Be a lighthouse. Give a light, but let the storm run its course.'"
"Also, learn to recognize your [own] feelings. Be open about them. You'll be amazed how much smoother your relationships will be."
23."Credit. 401K. Start saving NOW. Don’t buy new phones or cars every two years."
24."Your parents aren’t going to be here forever so the little things that get under your skin need to be brushed off. When they pass, you’ll remember those moments when you lost patience and regret it horribly."
25."Ageism. Enjoy your youth because when you get older, companies won't hire you anymore. They can get someone younger and more desperate to do your job for half as much."
26."[Right now,] you have the freedom to go on adventures. You'll love the life you have in your 40s, but you'll also live on the memories of random road trips and other adventures. Even if you're poor as shit, pool your money together with like 10 of your friends, rent a cheap ass hotel room, and go do the thing. I'd hate that now but I loved it then!"
27."Not starting saving in your 20s. Seriously, put away as much of your paycheck as you can as early as you can and you'll have a nice cushion in your 40s."
28."The slow drip of alcoholism. You might not be a binge drinker in your 20s, which while good, doesn't mean you are in the clear."
"I was a binge drinker, kicked the habit in my early 30s, and have been sober for over six years. Now, [my peers] are all pushing 40 and the people I once drank with, who didn't really seem to have a problem because they didn't get super wasted, are now hitting me up for advice on how to quit.
"[One] buddy... only drinks if it's an 'occasion'. It's working out great for him. He is the only dude I know who still drinks and doesn't have an issue with it."
29."Bad credit performance: the worst, most destructive thing you can do to your financial future! Get one credit card that you pay off every month, and finance a car."
30."In your 40s you’ll realize that it’s not old, and you don’t feel much different than you did in your 20s and 30s."
31."I regret having a bad lifestyle like being sedentary and not working out. I wish I could go back in time and start working out and being healthy. I have diseases that I should have prevented in my 20s; now I'm suffering from it."
"Do yoga every day. I wish I had started decades ago. Mobility is everything."
32."Bad eyes from screens and arthritis in hands from holding iPads and phones so often."
33."You're going to start to miss your friends that slip away. It's harder and harder to make really good friends as you get older. Keep the ones you got; if you get into a fight or something pisses you off, try to get over it. Talk things out, patch it up. Don't lose your good friends."
34.And finally: "To be honest, my 40s are a lot more like my 20s than I thought they would be. I’m not feeling much older and my body hasn’t [deteriorated] much. My interests and hobbies are mostly the same. The last 15 years just went by incredibly fast."
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"So I suppose what I’m saying is that you shouldn’t live your life as if your 20s [are] all that matters. You’ll soon be in your 30s and 40s and you’ll want your body and mind working just as well then as you do now, so take care of your health. Also, start saving up for retirement already."
If you're over 40 and feel like there's an element to aging that 20-somethings just do not see coming, let me know down in the comments. I love reading these. Or, if you want to write in but prefer to do so anonymously, you can check out this Google Form! Your answer may be shared in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post.
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
