34 Comically Accurate Tweets About Trying To Help Your Kids With Math
It happens at some point in elementary school. Your child comes to you for help with a math problem. “I’ve got this,” you think.
“Line up the numbers, add, carry the 1 and ...”
Oh, no you don’t!
“That’s not how the teacher does it,” your child says.
What? How many ways can there possibly be to do basic math?
But the way that you learned to add, subtract, divide and multiply has gone the way of ... the brontosaurus. And the planet Pluto.
If your addition problems don’t become multiple equations, your subtraction problems don’t involve number lines and your multiplication doesn’t follow something called the box method, you’re no longer qualified to fulfill this classic parental duty.
Here, the funny parents of X (formerly Twitter) describe in hilarious detail how today’s math methods are skibidi delulu sus to them.
I was amazing at math until ppl started being born in the 2000s
— priyanka mattoo (@naanking) August 23, 2023
My child’s math problem says that Lisa bought 5 loaves of bread that cost $0.25 each and 6 lbs of beef that cost $1.25 per pound and the only information I need is where does Lisa do her grocery shopping.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 24, 2022
anyone who assists their elementary aged child with math homework without cursing the entire time should be awarded a nobel prize
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 15, 2022
Me: Do you have math homework?
11-year-old: Yeah.
Me: How many problems?
11: It's all a problem.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 7, 2022
I just did over 2.5 hours of math homework with my 11 year-old where is my treat
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) November 3, 2021
A haunted house for parents but in every room is a child asking for help with Common Core Math.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 27, 2023
Some days you feel like you’re nailing parenting and some days Grade 3 math homework exposes your worst self.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) April 10, 2024
My wife and I didn’t renew our vows but we did solve our third grader’s math problem together.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) January 31, 2024
Shout out to parents who stall when their kid asks them a simple math question to quickly look it up on their phone calculator and then answer as if they just figured it out in their head.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 1, 2024
I just had to watch three YouTube videos to help my child with her math homework, I hate New Math
— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) January 25, 2022
As a parent, the only thing that can disgrace you is math homework.
— Mo'dap 🍁 (@_modap_) October 22, 2021
My kid was struggling to solve a complex math problem and tried unsuccessfully to ask Alexa for help. Being the responsible parent I am, I explained the best way to crowdsource a solution is to post the wrong answer on Reddit and 500 peeps will correct you in minutes.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) December 20, 2023
Damaged my eyes by staring directly at 5th grade math homework
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) April 9, 2024
teacher: your son needs help with math
me: I'll give it 110%
teacher: maybe your wife could do it?— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 26, 2022
I’m just here to say 6th grade math is hard.
I own it, I’m a 33yo woman who can’t do middle school math— hahahaheater ❄️🌨️☃️ (@dishs_up) April 29, 2021
Son: "Dad, will you do my math homework for me tonight?"
Dad: "No son, it wouldn’t be right."
Son: "Well, just do your best."— mariana Z (@mariana057) December 22, 2022
The secret panic when your kid asks you to help with a math problem.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 27, 2023
I had to google something to understand a kindergarten math problem. I took calc and wouldve done great if i bothered to go to class. So either having 2 kids fried my brain or they are just needlessly complicating things.
— sarah (@tallowqueen) January 25, 2024
When your oldest kid is able to help your younger kids with their math homework, the second part of your life begins
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) December 16, 2022
Things I’ve learned from my 10 year old :
1. Dinosaurs and chickens have the same DNA
2. You don’t have a lap unless you sit down.
3. 4th grade math.— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) February 9, 2022
My wife teaches high school math and half of her time is spent just making sure that none of the math problems she gives to the kids end up with an answer of 69 or 420
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) October 15, 2021
My son is arguing with my husband about a math problem. My husband is an engineer. My son is in 4th grade. The confidence is strong in this one.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) December 6, 2022
OnStar but for parents that need to be rescued and sent help for their kids math homework… NerdStar™️
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) February 25, 2022
My kid got her half semester report card and it seems like extra math classes may be needed for me
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 9, 2023
Had a conference with my son’s math teacher and she asked if I had any questions about math and I said yes do you tutor parents?
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 18, 2022
When I’m helping my son with math homework and I remember to carry the 1 pic.twitter.com/qaeDwsLBFy
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) May 13, 2023
My kid needs a big fancy calculator for her advanced math class. Meanwhile, I still don’t know the difference between CE and C.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) September 29, 2022
My family needs therapy after a very traumatic 2nd grade math assignment.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 27, 2022
Did 12 have math homework this weekend? Yes
Did either of us remember the math homework this weekend? No
Did she and I frantically do 2 pages of math homework between 6:15 and 7:10 this morning? Yes
Is any of it correct? Maybe— hahahaheater ❄️🌨️☃️ (@dishs_up) November 15, 2021
Me: (comforting my 8yo) I’m a grownup and I still need help sometimes
8yo: (perking up) like that time you asked daddy to help us with my math?— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) March 20, 2024
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of a romantic Valentine’s dinner we can all fight about 5th grade math homework and have macaroni and cheese again.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 14, 2022
"WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS?"
~ Me, helping my son with his math homework— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 29, 2021
11-year-old: I need Mom to help me with my math homework.
Me: I can help you.
11: It's algebra.
Me: Mom will be home at 6.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 11, 2022
You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework?
Vodka— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 27, 2024
