"Other People Notice": 32 Little Things Couples Do That Make People Think Their Relationship Won't Last

"Other People Notice": 32 Little Things Couples Do That Make People Think Their Relationship Won't Last

Most of us have had that moment when we're observing the way a couple interacts, and something in the back of our mind says, "This isn't going to last." Recently, u/dazzling_leopard4627 asked people on Reddit to share the telltale signs that a relationship may be doomed, and they had so much to say. Here are some of the top replies:

1."Excessive humble-bragging posts. Almost all the couples I’ve seen who do that on my social media are now broken up. I can’t help but feel like there’s a correlation."

Couple taking a selfie with a scenic overlook of a city and water in the background
Fg Trade / Getty Images

2."Not giving each other the benefit of the doubt when a miscommunication or something happens. Quick to just assume the worst."


3."Having a 'fix-it' baby."


4."Passive aggressive nitpicking."

Jan from The Office saying can you not do that

5."When one party starts a fight in order to keep the relationship 'interesting' or 'spice things up.' While conflicts or arguments are pretty normal, starting up one for the sake of not having a 'boring relationship' is bonkers to me."


6."Every time they argue, one of them starts talking about divorce."


7."When they take constant little digs at each other in a group setting. They may even claim to be joking, but you can tell they're not."


8."When the girl has abandoned her own identity to cater to what he wants."


9."When they have vastly different life or family goals. For example, one wants children and the other doesn’t."


10."When they're far more concerned about the wedding than the marriage."

Person sliding a wedding ring onto another person's finger
Hinterhaus Productions / Getty Images

11."When one refuses to even listen to the advice of the other."


12."Power imbalance. It could come from anywhere: differences in education, appearance, earning ability, social skills, level of luck, amount of self-discipline, mismatched libidos, ability to lie, deceive, or gaslight. When there's an inequality in power, there's a chance for contempt to plant a seed. Once there's a seed of contempt, the relationship is doomed. I have seen this so many times."


13."When they constantly talk to other people about problems in the relationship."

Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City looking shocked

14."Contempt for the other person's hobbies, job, friends, values, abilities..."


15."When one or both of the people initiated the relationship via cheating on someone else. My rule of thumb is: if they’ll cheat on someone else with you, they’ll cheat on you with someone else. In my experience, the narcissistic character flaws that would cause someone to cheat in the first place are almost impossible to change into adulthood. Why the fuck anyone would want to be with someone who felt okay with emotionally destroying someone else is beyond me."


16."When the relationship is adversarial and not nurturing. Your partner should literally be that: A partner on a team who supports you and shares both wins and losses. Too many people think a relationship is zero-sum and have to 'win' within it. Pure unhappiness."

Two actors in a SNL skit sitting on a couch with expressions of surprise

17."Heard a female friend say about her fiancé, 'Oh, he's my little project.' Lasted just over a year. Shocking."


18."Any sort of 'he/she doesn't do the chores.' If the issue is big enough they tell friends about it, then communication usually isn't possible or isn't productive. Eventually, someone's going to be pissed about the greasy pan being put on a sink full of soapy dishes, and that's that."


19."They have horrible communication skills with each other or can't talk through issues."

Two people sitting apart on a couch with arms crossed, suggestive of a disagreement or tension
Bymuratdeniz / Getty Images

20."Point scoring. Keeping track of who won the argument, who spent last weekend with friends, and for how long, snippy jabs about those things in front of friends and family. Then, when an argument inevitably breaks out, bringing out that mental tally and using it as a verbal weapon to 'win the argument.' I have seen it happen in a few couples now. All divorced within 10 years."


21."When one side seems to do all the work in the relationship. Those don't last very long. Generally, they end in one of two ways: Either the person doing all the work realizes they're doing like ALL the work and tells the other person to fuck off, or the person doing none of the work keeps raising their standards for the amount of work the other person needs to do for them until the other person fails and they start shopping around for some other poor sucker to grind the will to live out of."


22."When it’s obvious they don’t like each other. I know that sounds silly, but sometimes I’m around certain couples, and they don’t laugh at the same things, don’t share any hobbies or interests, and make little playful 'jabs' constantly. If you aren’t friends, you aren’t going to make it."

Two people at a table, one gesturing to initiate a conversation, subtitle reads "We should talk."

23."Money handling differences. A spender paired with a saver is a recipe for fights. What's even worse — two spenders. 'What I'M buying is fun, what YOU'RE buying is stupid!'"


24."When you can feel that they are not speaking to each other. They might put on a show at the restaurant or with friends, but you notice that every time they 'have to' talk to keep up the show, the other party answers with as few words as possible with no emotions. When me and my ex-wife were getting closer to the end, the silent treatment was our go-to trick, both of us. It really quickly gets tiresome and other people notice fast."


25."When they get a tattoo of each other's names. As a tattoo artist, the number of names I've covered up is actually sadly hilarious."

Tattoo of the name Alex on a man's wrist
Oleg Kolesnikov / Getty Images/iStockphoto

26."Going through your partner's phone or email."


27."Not being able to say 'no' to each other. You should be able to tell your partner no without it being a fight or your partner getting upset."


28."One being affectionate and the other not at all, like not even bare minimum."

Two people sitting together on a couch looking upset

29."When they don't figure out how to talk about their problems with each other like adults. If they're too scared to talk about their problems then things will erode over time until one or both people can't handle each other and hit a breaking point."


30."It’s anecdotal, but 100% of the couples I know that renewed their vows are now divorced. Almost like it was a desperate attempt to right the sinking ship."


31."A pattern of 'resolving' arguments with gifts."

Person holds a small gift box with a bow, symbolizing a token of affection or a romantic gift
Alex Barlow / Getty Images

32.And finally, "If they have that one base conflict they always come back to, and it never gets resolved. Every small argument ends up being the same old argument about that same root issue."


Is there anything else you would add? Tell us what in the comments below!