How 300 Terminally Ill Couples Had Their ‘Perfect’ Weddings Thanks to This Nonprofit (Exclusive)
"We're in the business of hope," says Wish Upon a Wedding's executive director, Lacey Wicksall
On any given day, Lacey Wicksall can be found fielding phone calls from couples across the nation who are deeply in love but are running out of time.
And that’s exactly why Wicksall is talking to them.
As the executive director with the Chicago-based nonprofit Wish Upon a Wedding, the 43-year-old mother of two helps provide free weddings and vow renewals to couples who are facing a terminal illness or a life-altering health circumstance.
“I just got off the phone with a couple a few hours ago and I still have tears in my eyes,” says Wicksall of a recent phone call, vetting a couple who were in the process of applying for one of the nonprofit’s weddings. “We were all in tears. It’s hard.”
For more on Wish Upon a Wedding and how they through a special ceremony for Georgia couple Skylar Bernstein and Sam Wombough, pick up this week's issue of PEOPLE or subscribe.
Since 2009, the organization has provided nearly 300 ceremonies by working with wedding industry professionals who donate everything from catered food and wedding attire to a venue, videographers and DJs.
Explains Wicksall: “When you're going through a tragedy, you just need someone to walk into your darkness and do something nice for you. And that's what we're here to do — to just provide a respite in the middle of the storm.”
Couples, who often learn about the organization from nurses or various support groups, apply through the group’s website.
Before being selected for an interview by Wicksall and “wish coordinator” Megan Biehl, they verify the applicant’s health status through their physician or hospice worker, then go to work learning more about the couple and what they envision for their special day.
“We ask a lot of questions in the interview about their story,” explains Wicksall. “'Tell us how you met, how you discovered your diagnosis, why is it important for you to get married or renew your vows? And what do you love about each other?' So many couples are never asked that question. And we give them each the chance to speak and they normally cry the entire time — and so do we.”
If selected, the nonprofit, which allocates $2,000 for each “wish,” along with the donated services, begins contacting wedding planners in the couple’s area, details their situation and asks if they might be interested in helping to organize the ceremony.
“When they called me, I was like, ‘I can't say no,’ ” recalls Georgia-based wedding planner Lydia Leek, who organized a wedding in August for a young couple — Skylar Bernstein and Sam Wombough — after the 22-year-old bride-to-be was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive form of brain cancer.
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Because time was of the essence, Leek quickly went to work, spending hours with Bernstein and Wombough to get a feel for the vibe they were hoping to achieve with their nuptials.
Then Leek began reaching out to her list of vendors to see if they might also want to pitch in and donate their services.
“I spoke to more than 12 of them, from florists and photographers to cake caterers, and everyone was so willing to help," she says. "I didn’t have to ask anybody twice. They all just said yes.”
The result was a nearly $60,000 wedding at the Conley Creek venue in Blairsville, Ga., with the Blue Ridge Mountains as a backdrop. “It was everything I could have dreamed of,” says Bernstein, calling it "perfect."
“And it was all done for us.”
Not surprisingly, the ceremonies often turn out to be more than just a wedding or a vow renewal — they are a celebration of life.
“People often tell us how wonderful it is to get everyone they love together in the same room before they pass away,” says Wicksall. “A lot of times, our 'wishes' are very much like a living funeral. We did one two years ago where the groom went to sleep and died the night of his wish. Every single person he loved got to be there to say goodbye to him that night.”
Over the years, Wicksall has also learned that the most well-planned ceremonies are often subject to change at the last moment depending on health concerns.
“If we have a venue lined up with everything totally planned out and at the last minute the person takes a turn for the worse, we can pivot and do it in their backyard or in a hospital room,” says Wicksall. “Our teams fully understand that at the end of the day, it all comes down to what the wish recipient can handle on that day.”
For couples who often feel like they’re living on borrowed time, what matters most is that, for a period of time, however short, Wicksall and her network of big-hearted wedding professionals across the nation are able to provide a joyous respite from endless doctors’ appointments and treatment regimens.
“Moms get to put on a beautiful gown and either wear a wig or wear their normal hair, have their hair and makeup done, and feel beautiful for the first time in 18 months because chemotherapy has ravished them,” Wicksall says. “It gives people a day when they just don't have to think about the hell that they're currently living through ... We’re in the business of hope because hope gives people something to look forward to and something to live for.”
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