32 etiquette mistakes to AVOID when dining out

Avoid these mistakes at all costs

Love dining out? Whether you're heading off on a date or embarking on your first Michelin-starred experience, there are certain etiquette mistakes you should never make when at a restaurant. From arriving late to your reservation to using the wrong cutlery, here we reveal the top 23 things to avoid doing when you're next dining out. How many of these faux pas have you made?

Read on to discover the things you should never do when dining out, counting down to the most frowned upon of all.

We've based our ranking on how offensive the mistake is, and on the opinions of our well-travelled (and well-fed) team. The list is unavoidably subjective.

23. Eat soup the wrong way

Didn't know that there was a right and a wrong way to eat soup? Turns out there is. Always scoop soup away from you and try not to lean too far over your bowl. When you're almost finished, tilt the bowl away from you slightly to make it easier to eat the remaining mouthfuls. And while it's acceptable in some cultures, slurping your soup is often deemed rude, so is best avoided.

22. Use the wrong cheese knife

Cheese knives come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Wide knives and mini cleavers are best for hard cheeses such as Parmesan, Cheddar and Manchego. These should be placed above the cheese and pushed down on vertically. Thin knives with a sharp edge are used for slicing semi-hard cheeses including Edam and Gouda, while pointed knives are best reserved for cutting and spreading semi-soft varieties such as Brie and Camembert.

21. Eat your bread roll whole

Even if you're really hungry, resist the urge to butter your bread roll and tuck into it whole. Instead, once you've selected your roll of choice from the basket, it's seen as good etiquette to break off a small, bite-sized piece. Use a butter knife to butter that piece only, just before you eat it (this prevents butter getting all over your fingers and around your mouth).

20. Only visit at the weekend

Love eating out at the weekend? Most of us do, which is why the wait time can often be longer. If you're able to, venture out to your favourite local spot during the week every now and again. You'll not only help out small, independent businesses but you'll likely receive more attentive service and a shorter wait time.

19. Take someone else's bread plate and water glass

If you often find yourself confused as to which water glass and bread plate is yours, remember this rule: you’ll find your bread plate on your left, next to your forks and your water glass on your right. The butter knife will either be served with the bread basket or, more commonly, placed on top of your bread plate.

18. Place your napkin back on the table

Once seated, it's good manners to place your napkin on your lap, using it as and when you need it and leaving it there until you’ve finished your meal. If you get up from the table mid-meal, it's expected that you place your napkin on the seat of your chair. A serviette should never go back on the table until you’re ready to leave.

17. Touch up make-up, brush your hair or use a toothpick at the table

Reapplying lipstick, checking your make-up or brushing your hair at the dinner table isn't a good look. If you're heading out after the meal and want to touch up your look, do so in the bathroom at the end. The same goes for using a toothpick at the table – excuse yourself and use the bathroom mirrors instead.

16. Forget to put your cutlery together

Whether you’re having a slight pause from eating mid-meal, or have finished your food, don't ever put your used cutlery back on the table. If you’re just having a break, leave your knife and fork in an inverted V-shape on your plate. If you're finished, place the cutlery side by side, either straight on the plate or at a slight angle – this will signal to waiting staff that they can take the plate away.

15. Use the wrong cutlery

The array of cutlery in high-end restaurants or at formal occasions can be highly confusing. Follow one basic rule, though, and you’ll be fine: start with the utensils furthest from your plate and work inwards. The salad and starter knife, fork and spoon will always be on the outside, while the knife and fork nearest to your plate are for the main course. If there's a spoon, fork or both above your plate, that's for dessert.

14. Use your napkin as a bib

While we all want to avoid a pasta sauce splatter on our clothes, using a napkin for anything other than wiping your mouth is a no-no. Many ramen and seafood restaurants, where eating the food is messy, provide special bibs to prevent you from spoiling your clothes, so there's still no need to use your napkin to do so.

13. Check your phone at the table

Whether you're at a restaurant or enjoying a meal at home, it's generally considered rude to use your phone at the table. In fact, research studies have shown that phone use at the dinner table is not only distracting but can cause diners to have a less enjoyable time. Unless you're expecting an urgent call (and have let your fellow diners know this), leave your phone in your pocket or bag and pay attention to the people you're with.

12. Speak with your mouth full

Don't bite off more than you can chew when you're dining out. Talking with your mouth full is impolite in general and, let's face it, nobody wants to see half-chewed food in your mouth – or, worse, experience bits flying everywhere – when trying to enjoy a meal. Swallow your food before you contribute to the conversation and everyone around the table will be grateful.

11. Make unreasonable menu requests

Don’t like what you see on the restaurant menu? Making small substitutions is usually fine, especially if you have allergies or dietary restrictions, but asking for completely different dishes just because you don't like the sound of anything on the menu is unlikely to go down well in the kitchen (and will likely make fellow guests feel uncomfortable). If you have a severe allergy or dietary requirement, it's best to check the menu beforehand or, in some cases, ring ahead to let the restaurant know.

10. Overstay your welcome

During peak times, most restaurants are likely to be keen to turn tables (seat another set of guests), so unless you're ordering more food or drinks, it's best to pay your bill and leave once you've finished your meal. Many spots will reserve your table for 90 minutes, sometimes two hours if you're lucky, so it's a good idea not to stick around too long after paying. Haven't finished your drinks or fancy lingering for longer? Ask if you can have a seat at the bar.

9. Not ask about dishes you're not familiar with

Ever pointed at a dish on the menu because you’re not sure how to pronounce it? You're not alone. With increasingly diverse options, new ingredients becoming popular and a greater availability of different cuisines than ever before, chances are there’s going to be something on the menu you won't have heard of – or don't know how to pronounce. Restaurant staff are there to help and usually know the menu inside-out, so there's no harm in asking what's what. After all, nobody wants to end up with a dish they don't like.

8. Start to eat before everyone is served

Most restaurants will serve everyone at the table at same time, but if you're part of a bigger group and it takes the staff a few trips to deliver all the food, do wait before you start eating. That said, some restaurants, such as dim sum spots and sharing plate restaurants, will bring dishes out as and when they're ready – in this case it's fine to tuck in and to encourage fellow diners to do the same.

7. Season food without tasting it

Before you reach for the salt and pepper, taste the dish to determine if the seasoning really does need adjusting – chances are you'll find that the meal doesn't require any extra salt or pepper. Many high-end restaurants won't even have salt and pepper shakers on the table, as they believe the food will already be seasoned to perfection before it leaves the kitchen.

6. Lick your knife or plate

This one goes without saying really. As tempting as it can be when a dish is utterly delicious, you shouldn't lick your knife or plate clean. Not only is doing so far from a good (or sophisticated) look, accidents can easily happen, and you could end up cutting yourself with the knife and ruining the whole meal – not just for yourself, but for the rest of the table.

5. Seat yourself

While some restaurants allow you to seat yourself, it’s always best to check with the front of house staff before sitting down. Even if you have a reservation or can see your name written under the reserved sign, it’s common courtesy to double check with staff as your table could still be occupied, not fully set up, or you may have even been moved elsewhere at the last minute.

4. Leave an incorrect tip

It’s standard to leave around 20% of the bill (before tax) in the US. Elsewhere around the world, it’s fairly common to leave between 10-15%. However, restaurants in many European countries will already add a service charge (usually around 12%) to your bill, which means you don't have to leave an extra tip, unless you want to. If you're travelling, check online to see what the local customs are as some countries, such as China and Korea, don't expect tips, while in Japan it can be considered rude to tip.

3. Snap your fingers at the waiting staff

Anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant will tell you how frustrating it is to spot customers snapping their fingers in a bid to capture attention. Doing so is just plain rude and shows the restaurant – and staff – very little respect. Avoid doing this altogether – the same goes for raising your voice to get attention. Instead, simply wait for the server to come over or try to catch their eye.

2. Arrive late for your reservation

No restaurant – especially on a busy night – can hold your table indefinitely. Most establishments usually offer a grace period of around 15 minutes, but that's not guaranteed on extremely busy nights. If you know you're going to be running late, call ahead and notify the restaurant so they can adjust timings accordingly.

1. Not cancel a reservation

If your plans change unavoidably at the last minute, remember it's common courtesy to notify the restaurant that you’ll no longer be attending. Many independent restaurants are counting on your party to show up and may not be able to fill the table last minute with walk-ins, which is why some have even started adding reservation deposits and cancellation fees for no shows. Always ring ahead or cancel your booking online, giving as much warning as possible.

Now discover the foods you should never order at a restaurant