23 Funny Pet Tweets That Are More Important Than Your Morning Coffee

I bought a pound of chicken for cheaper than a can of dog food. Guess what my dog is eating tonight?

— unseen1 (@unseen1_unseen) December 5, 2024

I came home and my dog peed a little because she was happy. You don't pee when you see me, I'm surrounded by fakes 🥺

— Jessie (@KickJessie) December 4, 2024

i'm not okay but at least my dog still loves me i think

— ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) (@eschadiol) December 6, 2024

leaving my dog upstairs and telling him to be good right before hearing several ridiculously loud crash bangs coming from his location 😑

— violet 🧠🐀 (@daintysloth) December 6, 2024

last week was i was feeling more depressed than i have in years but i made it to my therapist yesterday. but what’s this? i missed an email saying she had to cancel. ok, i can push through. oh what’s this? my nanny quit. ok, i can deal. what’s this? my dog got skunked. LMFAO

— amber rollo (@ambercrollo) December 5, 2024

STOP- MY CAT COPIED ME AFTER I GOT OFF THE SCALE 😭 pic.twitter.com/vfGc8gboRi

— Lemonz•edtwt• (@biglemonballz) December 6, 2024

I do not understand, with my security cams at home, I can see my cat take a dump in 4K resolution, YET... in NYC, in a high-end hotel, all the footage looks like it came from the security cam of a 7-Eleven in 1983.

— Cleavage Crumbs (@CleavageCrumbs) December 4, 2024

my dog follows me around like he’s my fucking manager

— Space Ghost (@spaceghost) December 6, 2024

pic.twitter.com/a33Hgl7Qpv

— out of context dogs (@contextdogs) December 6, 2024

Our vet prescribed my dog anxiety medication to take before her vet appointments which is why I’ve started scheduling myself for vet appointments.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 3, 2024

i think my cat is broken pic.twitter.com/nr9M4tqoKM

— Laura Elliott (@TinyWriterLaura) December 4, 2024

Birthday party at my dog’s day care today and I’ve just been sent this wonderful photo from it 😂 He’s clearly refused to wear his hat or wrestled it off and chewed it to bits 😬 pic.twitter.com/3p7NGVKUfr

— Sarah Champion (@SarahChampion) December 6, 2024

Me and my dog are both on Xanax and we both voted for Kamala Harris

— Rachel (@rachelplntgnt) December 5, 2024

People: get a dog it'll help you set a routine and wake up early!**my dog at 11 AM pic.twitter.com/HMtpSUcPoA

— Pranav Mehta (@i_pranavmehta) December 5, 2024

Sorry, I’d rather stay home and nurse an unhealthy level of attachment to my dog than socialize with the abundance of shitty people in this country.

— ✭ 🅑🅤🅑🅑🅐 ✭ (@BubbatheOG) December 5, 2024

I wake up with my cat trying to convert me into bread. I'm not safe, guys. pic.twitter.com/d3CEX5PTwk

— sifyro,BIu€§k¥ (@sifyro) December 5, 2024

I bet my cat only stares at me in the shower so he can figure out which part to eat first when I die

— Nicki🍂 (@AwkwardAndOdd) December 5, 2024

pic.twitter.com/FOdzh4xzIa

— out of context dogs (@contextdogs) December 6, 2024

I've been collecting old pumpkins in the neighborhood and I tell them its to feed my pet hippopotamus and when the kids ask if they can see him I just say no

— Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ (@Bob_Janke) December 4, 2024

aiming to be more of a grinch this christmas (exclusively hanging out with my dog and complaining when the neighbors get too loud)

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) December 3, 2024

My dog just laying there on the couch literally rent free, never picking up a dish or doing any laundry or helping out with a bill while I bust my ass- pic.twitter.com/TrdLIncRFO

— 🔪🩸𝔊𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔊𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩 🗡🪽 (@KryptKeeper21) December 5, 2024

I allow/actively encourage my dog to wee on bookies when we're on a walk. He's a greyhound so they profited off his pain for so long, they owe him

— Fesshole🧻 (@fesshole) December 4, 2024

I think my dog is broken 😅🚒🚨#Lviv #Львів pic.twitter.com/G1PGpOmAlU

— Richard Woodruff 🇺🇦 (@frontlinekit) December 4, 2024