22 People Got Real Candid About Child-Free Weddings, And Honestly, I Agree With 99% Of Their Points

One of the wedding choices that will guarantee you some unwanted opinions is deciding to make it a child-free event — whether it's supported or not. So, we took to the BuzzFeed Community and asked, "How do you REALLY feel about child-free weddings?" I think I speak for everyone when I say it got heated but so real.

1."Fine by me. As a parent, I don't get many opportunities to cut loose with friends. The fun weddings run late into the night, are lively and loud, and have the drinks flowing. I take my son to approximately 4,729 birthday parties per month, where he has a blast every time. Let people choose what they want to do on their day."

2."I think if it’s reasonable, there should be a small party where the kids are not only allowed but invited. Then everyone can just hang out and have fun and celebrate the couple. Also, it’s not nearly as formal or stressful."

—alexandraisgay

3."I believe people should enjoy whatever kind of wedding they want, BUT my personal feelings are that weddings (and funerals!) are way better with children. Events like these are for celebrating life, and nothing does that quite like kids."

—lexiv

4."We had a child-free wedding in 2022 and requested no guests under 21. We did this because 1) it allowed our venue the opportunity to not card guests with the open bar, and 2) we wanted our friends and family to enjoy a night of frivolity at our wedding without having to balance the role of parents."

5."I think that they are a good idea, but you have to make sure that EVERYONE knows and make no exceptions, or else everyone will bring their kids."

—jamestheflames20

6."I’m nowhere near the period of my life where I’d want to be getting married, but I know when it happens, my cut-off age for guests will probably be no one under 14-16 years old."

—bludecat

7."Leave the kids elsewhere. Kids can be disruptive and make things all about themselves. Sometimes, their parents also make things all about themselves. Plus, it’s a pretty boring event for kids anyway."

—panda_13

8."I love them! As a loving mother of two and a fourth-grade teacher, ANY time I get to be alone with my husband at a function without children (in general — mine, yours, any children) with drinks, dancing, and celebration, I am taking that opportunity in a heartbeat."

9."I feel like child-free weddings are absolutely okay. If it's your wedding, it's your choice whether or not to invite children. However, I feel like couples who state that only adults 18+ or 21+ can attend their wedding are a little selfish because it's a wedding, and you're not operating a bar or strip club."

—ltang

10."I’m an elementary school teacher, and I had a child-free wedding. I have absolutely no regrets and believe everyone should be able to make the choice whether to include kids in their big day or not."

—housekelsey16

11."It does make it more difficult for out-of-town guests. We were recently invited to a three-day wedding extravaganza with no kids allowed. The bride suggested we bring our kids and 'find a local sitter off Craigslist or something once you get here.' Sounds good in theory, but I would barely trust an 'I just met you' stranger to water my plants, let alone stay with my kids for three days. We did not attend the wedding."

—vibrantcrab894

12."If your wedding is local, like, in the same city you live in, feel free to do as you wish. If you’re asking anyone to travel even two hours away, it is an absurd request for a lot of guests."

13."I personally don't care for them. I won't attend a wedding without my kids because they are a part of our family. Also, because everyone I know tends to get married over two hours away these days, now I'm having to get a hotel and such. I will respect your wishes and just decline the wedding, which I have sadly had to do."

—s4ff5d431b

14."I feel like it’s perfectly fine to make that decision. It’s also perfectly fine for people not to attend the wedding if they can’t bring their kids. As a bride/groom, you can’t put conditions on attendance, and then you get upset when people don’t attend because of those conditions."

—clevernugget46

15."Makes perfect sense to me. Kids often get bored or want to go back home, and the adults can go without that for a wedding. It’s calming not to have to focus solely on the kids by constantly keeping an eye on them. The wedding couple is less agitated that way, too."

—thebigpitcher

16."I had a child-free wedding. Best decision we ever made. My MIL probably hasn't forgiven me, but not tripping over a screaming child? Worth every second of her anger. She would have found another reason to hate me anyway."

17."I have no issue with child-free weddings and fully understand if that means someone can't make it. While I'm sure children would have fun, bringing your children (especially small children) can be a challenge. They don't like to stay quiet and sit still during the ceremony, and they want to run around during the reception, which could knock over drinks, trip people, etc... You have to try to keep one eye on the event while focusing most of your attention on your kids. Sometimes, it's just nice to have a little break."

—bigbabybelcher

18."I don’t see the big deal at all. It’s not about including everyone. Each plate costs money. Plus, kids can’t be entertained for a long time, so it is disruptive, honestly. They won’t even remember it. 😂 The list goes on and on."

—chloes4107394d2

19."As a mom to a toddler, I LOVE them. I don’t want to have to entertain my toddler and ignore the ceremony and the people around me at the reception for hours on end. Weddings are not exciting events for young kids."

"I have to take my toddler to a wedding next month because he’s the ring bearer, and I’m absolutely dreading it. I’d much rather have him have a sleepover at grandma’s, where he’ll have fun and feel safe, than wrangle him at a wedding where he’ll alternate between bored and overstimulated constantly."

—lizowar

20."I would prefer child-free ones but don't mind children there terribly either. They are super cute, all dressed up, and it's fun to watch them dance. As long as I am not the one having to look after them, and they are generally well-behaved, why not?"

21."I am okay with it, I just wish there was more acceptance of the reality that people will decline because of that choice. It seems like so often, people have a child-free wedding and then get butthurt when people with kids decline. You made this choice; you knew it would exclude people, so don't be mad when they don't show up."

"People love to be like, 'But what a fun night out for you!' but you don't know what anyone else's ability to leave their kids for the night is. Like basically, I won't judge you for having a child-free wedding if you don't judge me if I don't attend. It's like having a destination wedding and being mad when people won't go."

—dizzycupcake12

22.And finally, "Invite kids to the reception. That's where the real fun is, anyway. Your four-year-old does not want to sit through a ceremony; he isn't old enough to understand its significance, anyway."

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.