21 Bizarre And Utterly Wrong Lessons From "Abstinence-Only" Sex Ed Classes That'll Leave You Baffled And Angry
Reddit user I_Have_No_Name_00 posed the question: "People who had abstinence-only sex education, what were the biggest falsehoods you were taught?" The thread quickly filled with the toxic and blatantly wrong lessons students endured. It's unbelievable and unacceptable. Here's what people shared:
1."We learned that sex isn't for women and women don't like it, but we're lightning rods of sexual temptations for men, and whether or not men go to hell is entirely based on how we dress."
2."In seventh grade, a lady came in to talk about the horrors of sexual intercourse. We were told that you could get pregnant from a blowjob. At the end of the speech, they handed out New Testament Bibles while making it a point to say, 'Most secular sex ed classes will hand out condoms, and that's evil.' This was at a public school, by the way."
3."I remember this dumb activity we did during our first year of high school where they gave each of us a fun-size Snickers bar and said that if we brought it back the next day, we'd get a second. The idea was that if you held off on sex, the 'reward' would be twice as great. One of my classmates bought a bag of fun-sized Snickers and passed them out to the class, so we each had three or four before class began. I hope he's doing well in life."
"My school extended this by straight-up saying women release less and less oxytocin each time, so the first time they had sex WOULD be the best that it could get."
4."[They said] that we had to love each other for babies to be made."
5."I'll never forget the time someone asked what the clitoris was, and the instructor said it served no purpose and that some women elect to have it removed."
6."[We were told] that using tampons would 'DESTROY' your innocence and purity, and by using one, you effectively are no longer a virgin. You should only ever use pads."
7."I had sex ed in the Bible Belt, and I swear to god this exchange happened. After explaining how AIDS can be transmitted, the teacher asked, 'What is the only way you can be 100% certain you don't get AIDS?' I said, 'Don't use drugs, and you and your partner should get tested for AIDS before having sex.' My teacher replied, 'Well, that doesn't necessarily work because sometimes the AIDS test can have a false negative. Does anyone else know the answer?' Another student said, 'Abstinence.' The teacher said, 'Yes, don't have sex until you get married.' So, I asked, 'But what if you marry someone who has AIDS?' The teacher goes, 'Well, before you get married, you have a bunch of tests done to make sure you don't have AIDS.'"
8."I remember the head of our middle school telling us that there was a single 'safe day' each month to have sex. His 'reasoning' had to do with the lifespan of sperm, how ovulation can happen for days/weeks after a period, condom effectiveness, etc. I was convinced of this for YEARS."
9."They 'demonstrated' how condoms work by pulling out a huge fishing net with the widest weave possible. Then, they dropped ping pong balls through them to show how sperm and STIs could easily get through the rubber. We had several teenage pregnancies. Shocker."
"We had a hula hoop and bouncy balls! It was the same concept, and we also had lots of teen pregnancies. "If condoms aren't effective, may as well skip them.'"
"We had rice hurled at a volleyball net. Friends in adulthood struggle to believe this really happened."
10."I learned that sex meant pregnancy. So, having sex, even once, meant I'd get pregnant. That led me to believe that if someone had sex during any given month and then had a period, it was a miscarriage. I'm embarrassed to say I believed that until I was about 20 years old!"
11."I was actually told that sperm seeks out the vagina from wherever it is. Leg, butt, toilet seat, washcloth (this one was discussed extensively for some reason), it didn't matter. They said that sperm has one mission and will stop at nothing to make a baby! This was my first year of high school in a rural Bible Belt public school."
12."I wasn't taught anything — nothing about periods, sex, etc., just that my first kiss was to be had at the altar. Shockingly, I got pregnant at 17."
13."If you masturbate too much, you'll grow hair on your hand."
14."In school, no one ever told us that STIs can be treated. I definitely thought everyone was scared of getting them because they would be permanent and transferrable forever (this is true in some cases, but not all or even the majority). At the pediatrician, part of my annual checkup from puberty onward was to be quizzed on the 'four reasons not to have sex before marriage.' One was because 'people will talk about you.' For an already anxious kid, imagining being the subject of gossip was terrifying. I'm in my mid-20s, still unlearning this shame!"
15."If you are kissing someone so hard that you 'wet yourself,' you're not a virgin. If you're masturbating alone in your room, God is watching, and you are a deeply disturbed person. Conception occurs when a 'mom and dad hug each other very tightly.' STIs are punishment for sexual deviation. There's no such thing as being gay. Our parents sent us to private schools because they care about us more than public school kids' parents, and the reason public schools are so unsafe is because those kids have sex, which immediately stops you from maturing past the age you had sex at. If anyone got pregnant at my school, it was immediate expulsion. Obviously, the boys faced no consequences. F the Catholic church."
16.I got this lesson: 'You are a perfect piece of paper. When you have sex before marriage, the paper gets crumpled, and you can never be perfect again.' LMAO."
17."Abstinence-only education. We had a religious guest speaker. She glued two paper cutouts together: one pink and one blue. Then, at the end of her talk, she tried pulling them apart, but obviously, pink bits were left on the blue paper and vice versa. She said that every time you have sex with someone, you leave a part of yourself behind. You should wait to have sex until you're married so you can be whole for your partner."
18."Our sex ed person took a very interesting approach and mentioned how he loves his wife so much, and he was so thankful for her giving him children, but he still looked at porn. He basically convinced all the girls that they could have sex with their boyfriends, but it wouldn't be enough, no matter what. He also mentioned stories of friends of his who cheated. It was definitely weird. He also gave five kids chocolate but warned that one was a laxative (trying to show the risk you take with unprotected sex, I guess?). A lot of my classmates had to do self-work/therapy to undo the insecurities that one conversation gave them."
19."One time, the teacher laid a blanket on the ground and got a boy and a girl to sit on it. It was supposed to be their wedding night and the first time they had sex with each other. Then, she got some other random students to sit on the blanket to represent people they had sex with before they got together. It was supposed to show that the sacred marriage bed was now crowded, and it wasn't just them on their honeymoon. It just made everyone uncomfortable since we were like 11."
20."For the girls: If you have sex with someone you aren't in love with/married to, it hurts. It only feels good if you're in love and married."
21.And: "That even once you're married, you should remain chaste unless trying to conceive. Also, you'll go to hell if you have sex outside of marriage, get an STI, which will kill you (so you'll go to hell), and you'll become pregnant or impregnate your partner. They did not explain what would happen in a same-sex pairing, just that all sex led to this. One kid thought if two girls kissed, one of them would turn into a dude, and the other would get pregnant."
What's the most bizarre/incorrect thing you were taught in sex ed? What was your experience in the class like? Tell us in the comments or share your story anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
